how do i make the pain go away?

Question

my girlfriend just broke up with me. weve been dating for over a year and i know shes the one. it all just hurts so bad. i dont have any friends just a few shallow ones here and there. if anyone knows how to get rid of this pain then please help me. i cant handle it honestly. any help would be greatly appriciated

everyone says just forget about her one day youll be able to not think about her. but i want to i want to be in love with her still. im hopeless i know

Answer 1

Sorry regarding your loss and pain. I hope this pain will pass.

Hope this other answer helps!


Q: I'm all torn up because I've just discovered my boyfriend has been dating someone else, although he said he wasn't. I thought I could trust him, but now I realize it was all a lie. How can I keep from feeling there isn't any hope? — R.N.


A: Dear R.N.,
If your boyfriend's love wasn't sincere, isn't it better for you to find it out now than later on? I know this is a deep emotional blow right now, but in time I suspect you'll actually be thankful for it.

I know it's hard to untangle your emotions at a time like this, but I want you to understand two very important things. First, why are you feeling so devastated? The real reason isn't simply because you've lost your boyfriend; instead, you feel rejected and betrayed, and you may even be wondering if there is something wrong with you or if you aren't worthy of being loved.

But this isn't true! God made you, and you are a unique and important person in His sight. In fact, you are so valuable to Him that He was willing to send His only Son into the world to give His life for you. Don't let feelings of rejection or worthlessness overpower you, because they simply aren't true.

The second truth I want you to know is this: God loves you, and He has a perfect plan for your future. Turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him into your life today. Then commit your future—including your relationships—to Him and ask Him to guide you. The Bible's words are true: "If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:31-32).

Answer 2

I completely and utterly feel your pain, I am going through that right now. Every day is a new day, there are good days and bad days and sometimes there are just horrendus f-u-c-k-e-n days. It hurts like and open wound, and some days I don't want to get out of bed. Other days are okay, but that person is contantly racing through my mind from the minute I get up till the moment I go to bed. The worst part is if they feel the same. The truth is, in time this to shall pass, it has been a month for me and believe me I hurt, I hurt horribly, but it will take some time. I pray for you and I know that you are feeling miserable. I know that eventually it will get better, take this time to focus on yourself and rebuild and reidentify the person you once were. I am trying, and let tell you sometimes I think why, the reason why is for you not anyone else. God lays out the paths of life and everyone happens and everything happens for a reason. He never gives you more then you can handle. God bless you and stay strong!

Answer 3

Time is the only way to ease the pain. I'm sorry there isn't a better way, but that's just the way it is. However, you can help yourself get through it. Find something distracting to do, something that takes concentration away from your current heartache and then do it. Listen to music that gives you strength and courage. Also, realize that even if this person felt like "the one", if they left you, they weren't the one. They were just practice for the one who will someday come into your life. I believe everything in life happens for a reason and you were with your ex-g/f for a reason. Getting through this pain and heartache will make you stronger, even if you do feel really weak right now. At the end of the pain, you WILL be stronger and you will have learned many lessons about life and yourself that will make you more ready for the REAL "One" that will come into your life someday.

If this all becomes more than you can bear and nothing can distract you from the pain, please see a counselor of some sort and get something to help calm you a bit. Nothing harsh, just something to take the edge off of your feelings until you can deal with them alone. Talking to a counselor would be even better because you need to get all of this chaos out of your system, get rid of the pain and hurt and feelings of hopelessness so you can move on with your life. You need to get rid of the bad feelings, so talking to someone objective who will listen will help a lot.

If all else fails, exercise or do something strenuous until you tire yourself out, then go to bed. After a good amount of sleep, you'll find a bit more calm and be able to get through the days a bit better until it all calms down for you. Exercising also produces endorphins which help raise your mood.

Good luck with all of this Sweetie. I know it hurts, but it does get better. Have faith in that, please?

Answer 4

My heart breaks for you. You are experiencing one of the most difficult moments that which we all go through. Do not hold back the tears, even if you cry for a very long time. It is normal to cry to heal from a major loss. Do not listen to anyone who says, “Just get over her/forget her”, because this is not rational. Most all of us have to lose someone we thought we would be with forever before we find the one we will be with – normal. Please keep telling yourself positive thoughts, and baby yourself as if you have a cold until you feel better. After a few days, get out of the house and treat yourself to things you enjoy. It is very important for you to bring as much positive things and the things you love to do into your life right now, because you need some good feelings/moments, too. When your ready, work towards accepting the change in your life. You will be OK, and I PROMISE every week that passes, you feel so much better. Take care you!

Answer 5

I don't know how old you are so I can't give advise on being "the one" or not. I do know this... it really hurts like a sonoffa*&^$#. I know it.

I'm sorry I can't give you a big hug and make it all better, but know you've been spiritually hugged really really hard. Not much helps it go away, but talking to friends can help, or spending time with them and NOT talking about it. Get involved in something so completely overwhelming that you don't have time to think.. then it actually hurts a little less because you gave your heart a little chance to breathe.

Yup, that crappy old adage about it taking time sucks big time, especially because it's true.

Because someone was right for you doesn't mean you were right for them, just as I'm sure you've broken up with people that were sure YOU were the one for them. But remember this, people who are right always come around, maybe next month, maybe next year. It took my husband 3 years for he and I to come around when we were sure from the get go that we were right for each other. We're celebrating anniversary number 10 next month.

So just remember, a break up doesn't necessarily mean it's over, it may mean "I still have to grow up some more... look me up later, or I might even call you first".

So, most importantly, remember to be around when the right one comes back to your door, or maybe shows up for the first time.

Answer 6

Hon, DON'T make the pain go away. The pain is there to teach you. Look for the lesson in your pain. Your relationship was obviously lacking for at least one of you. Do you know why? Did you refuse to see what you wanted out of the relationship and what your loved one needed to get in return? If there wasn't communication or the ability to communicate between the two of you, you didn't have a relationship. You had a crush. Most crushes end up with someone being crushed. This time it was you. I'm sympathetic and I have never forgotten how I felt when my everything up and left. But I was able to let go of the pain. That, to me, seems to be the trick. You have to let the pain go. You can't bury it, deny it, forget it, deaden it, excise it, or negate it. You can only learn from it and let it go. If you are feeling it still, you want it or need it. Figure it out and let... it... go.

Lots of us are rooting for you.

"No one is alone." - S. Sondheim 'Into the Woods'

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear about your breakup. Hang in there. I know from experience when one door closes another one will open in the future. In the meantime take an honest examination of what happened and your role, if any, in it. Be honest with yourself and learn and grow from the experience.

I know it hurts when you lose someone that you feel was the one. I had this happen on a couple of occasions and once the pain went away, I met the person that was the "one" and we were together over 16 years..

Answer 8

I'm sorry thats you are feeling hopeless in this type of situation. Honestly sweety, only time can heal your pain. I know its tough now but believe me, every day will get better. Today you make think about her every second, but one day, you will wake up and realize you haven't thought about her at all.
You may hurt right now but sooner or later you will realize she actually did you a huge favor. Now you have the chance to make another woman happy. You deserve someone to love and cherish you, and she obviously couldnt satisfy you in that manner.

It just takes time..... it will get better I promise.
Just take it one day at a time.... and remember, NEVER let anyone take away your beautiful smile. Its not worth it.

Take care

Answer 9

I am so sorry that you are in pain. I know there is alot of people that are going to answer this with funny little smart @ss answers but what it all boils down to is you are hurting. There is nothing I or anyone else can say to take your pain away. All I can tell you is it will get better. Day by Day

Answer 10

will since she did dump u ,she is not the one but of course if she dates u again then may be she is the one but anyway just try to accept it the way it is and try to be around people a lot and try to focus on things that are not related to relationships.Its not going to be easy but like the saying goes times heals ever thing.In time u will be over her.Oh and in a few weeks or what ever if u try dating some one else,may be it will ease ur pain a bit.