Wait for sex till marraige? (an adult question....?

Question

I know it is important to become friends and love each other first and have a lasting relationship of trust and such.But I do not intend to spend the rest of my life with someone who I can't even enjoy sex with *_*.
In my opinion:
I think you should know if you will be the right match for that person before you mess up and be stuck with that person for life ~_~. A life of bad sex..A bad fit....leads to cheating and misery.
I'm not condoning going out having sex with every one....but I just think you should know if it's gonna work first.

Any other opinions?

Answer 1

I completely agree with every word you've said. I think having sex before marriage is the right thing if you are careful. I know it seems petty to put importance on sexual compatibility compared to other qualities . It's a fact that having a bad sexual relationship with your spouse can lead to a lot of stress in a marriage.
You can learn a lot about your partners sexual needs after you're married but really a healthy couple meets the others needs both in bed and out without compromise. .
You are one smart cookie. I wish more women were like you.

Answer 2

I was always of the school of thought that it was best to wait until marriage. I was actually engaged to a guy that I hadn't had sex with. Then I met someone else, broke of my engagement and within a month was living with him - and having sex.

That was a year and a half ago and although I don't regret what we have, sometimes I do regret not waiting. The only reason is that there is no legal commitment. There's not a lot holding us together. And even though in my mind, this is it and he will be the only man I ever sleep with, I'm realistic enough to realize that there is a good possibility that we could break up at some point and there's nothing stopping me from sleeping with the next long term boyfriend. Which means that instead of being someone who saved themselves for their husband, I could sleep with many men before I finally settle down in marriage.

If you save yourself for the one person that you commit to spending the rest of your life with, it's going to be special and you will enjoy it because it's something that only you and he share - not something that you've shared with many people and have a large basis for comparison.

Another thought... I keep wondering what might happen if I were to become pregnant. We aren't committed to each other and I do want to have a family - a husband and children. I think my children deserve to be raised with a mom and a dad. If I were to become pregnant and we later break up, I have just robbed my child of that because of my selfish desires.

Granted, even in marriage, sometimes things don't work out and it could end in divorce. However, statistically speaking, couples who don't live together and wait until marriage to have sex have a much greater chance of staying together. It's too late for me to go back to the way I was, but I now realize that emotionally, physically and financially, it would have been much smarter for me to hold out until marriage.

Finally, when I first met the man I'm now with, I had talked with him about my desire to wait until marriage. He was very respectful of that and discussed how great it would be to get married. After letting go of my resolve, he's gradually decided that he doesn't have a desire to get married. By having sex with him, I may have very well given up something that I have always wanted far more than a good sex life - a committed and loving marriage.

Answer 3

I feel that you need to do what you are comfortable with. It depends on how you view sex. If you confuse sex with love, then you should wait until you are married. Too many people fall in love as soon as they have sex with someone and confuse the feeling they have with unconditional love. The Euphoria you feel when in a new relationship can be overwhelming. You have to see this for what it is. See through it to the real person behind the smoke screen. So, think very hard about loving someone and compatibility, sexual and social. Not only will this person be the one you have sex with the rest of your life but the one you have to tell that what they are doing during sex is boring and you need to step it up a notch. You have to know that you can communicate with them. Just waiting to have sex after marriage thining it is the right thing to do can be risky. Those same people do not believe in divorce and are stuck.

Answer 4

You know the funny thing about your question is that if it had been written by a man, then I think that the answers would have been quite a bit different. However, I tend to agree with you to an extent. I would say that if this is what you are interested in finding out, then try it a couple times. But I wouldn't plan on screwing his brains out every day as this just may turn the guy away from you. So what if the other person is not so experienced? That's the chance that you have to break them in your way!

Answer 5

First be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy period.

Second, marriage is not about having sex. In fact, you will find sex to be a small, but important aspect of your marriage.

Third, sex is a give and receive kind of thing. If both of you are willing to learn what each other likes/dislikes it should be fine.

Fourth, be open and be willing to listen to his ideas as well.

Fifth, waiting until after your married will make your wedding night special, romantic and will provide memories of a lifetime.

Do it right, no regrets!

Answer 6

I guess if someone has strong religious views on the matter, they should do what's right for them. But we Americans are wierdly ambivalent about sex. Nearly all adults are fascinated with it and seek it out in and out of relationships, but then we tell school kids they should "wait until they are married", which strikes me as a personal and religious opinion being pushed on a captive audience in a very hypocritical way.

I think it pretty much goes without saying these days that nearly all couples live together or at least have sex prior to marriage (I think the numbers are well in excess of 90% for premarital sex). It seems like trying to stick with the no sex before marriage "ideal" would encourage younger people to get married before they are really ready to settle down or to feel they have to marry the very first person they fall in love with or even in "lust" with.

There's nothing wrong with taking your time and making sure you are compatible in all ways before tying the knot. But be aware there are no guarantees and plenty of couples find their once-exciting sex life to be humdrum once they are married...especially if they have kids.

Answer 7

Honestly, I don't think you should sleep with someone before marriage. I am going to get so many thumbs down! Here are a few reasons why. If you are in love with someone, making love to each other come naturally. I also think it is important to remember that in a marriage you grow together and that includes in the bedroom too. You learn what each one likes and needs and once you have that bond of marriage that in itself provides some of the satisfaction. Secondly, you can't decide on marrying someone soley on your sex life. Granted, it is part of the equation but marriage is so much more than that. I am not putting down anyone who decides to go the other way just voicing an opinion.

Answer 8

I agree this is at least one very good reason to engage in sexual activities before you consider marriage with an individual. Take precautions so that you do not get pregnant, then find out if you are compatible just as you do with other aspects of the relationship before making a commitment.

Answer 9

I think sex is just a physical action that some people assign emotional feelings to. I'm in total agreement that sex is a huge part of most successful relationships and going into a long term relationship without knowing that you are compatible with your partner is just naive.... bordering on stupid in many cases.

Answer 10

I totally agree with you, sexual compatibility is very important.

If I were dating and a woman said "I will only have sex with you after we are married", I would say 'I understand that, however, I would never marry anyone that I don't recognize as being sexually compatible, so perhaps we can simply be friends'

If you get along really well, then that's the answer, you are earmarked for friendship.