me and my hubby have been together for 3 yrs and it was great we have had our share of ups and downs i know he loves me but i feel hes falling out of love i have gained alot of weight and im trying to lose it im working on my changes and i feel he dosent care any more i try to kiss him and he kisses me but dosent put love into it like he use to he dosent really hold me that much and more and he dosent really talk but hes always the 1st to say i love you and wants me to go every where with him so what going on??? im sad but happy but sad and mad plz help.....by god i need it...
2007-08-03 08:30:26 · 20 answers · asked by MOMMY2BEWITH#1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well we talked firday i asked him if he would like my to go away for the weekend he said yes so im at my parents hanging out so i called him today and asked him when he would like me to come home he said well tuesday wednesday so you can have some time with your family b/c i havent really seen them so im staying a little longer now he said he misses me also he went out bowling and he siad he had fun and he didnt feel weried with 2 coupls sooo what do u all think???
2007-08-05 09:37:05 · update #1
well now he wants to be friends and see how that goes he is in debit 10 grand and that hinders us but also i try soo hard i love him to death i want to find that friendship we use to have and then work from there how do we do this i dont want to loose the love of my life....
2007-08-10 04:08:17 · update #2
i know what puppy love is and this isent i cant breath my heart really has pains and my tummy hurts i miss him soo much im sooo sad...
2007-08-10 07:08:37 · update #3
all these people keep telling you to lose weight as if that's the reason that he should or shouldn't love you!! I think that if he loved you, the weight wouldn't matter so much... I put on some weight over the past few years cause I have had children and I have never lost it all. My husband just wants me to be comfortable with myself... he still loves me no matter what. I think that maybe you are just getting to that point in a marriage when you are comfortable with each other and the "spark" or whatever you want to call it is fading a little. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you... talk to him about it. Stop wondering and just ask... men don't read minds and he doesn't know how you feel unless you tell him. Maybe he just needs some space... give it time. Good luck.
2007-08-11 05:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by TeggieMcG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked him when you should come home he said Tuesday? if he really loved you and missed you so much then why is he okay with being away from you? didnt you want to hear right now I cant be away from you for a moment longer? Dont make excuses its only going to hurt you more in the long run if he is so superficial that your weight can have such an affect on him why are you so okay with that I had a gastric bypass I went from a size 24 to a 2 in one year my husband wants me just as much now as he did when I was heavy I made the decision to have the surgery for myself because I couldnt live another second with what I saw in the mirror I guess that makes me superficial myself or maybe just human I wasnt happy with me I did something about it I am now the happiest I have ever been because of my decision loose weight however you can but do it for yourself
and loose the looser
2007-08-09 09:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the two of u have may have reached a point where u are used to each other and therefore the spark is dying. it doesn't mean u don't love each other, just that there are no surprises. u can use the knowledge to build a strong marriage by appreciating the good u have or u can torture urself the way u are doing by analyzing everything to death. if he says stay a few days u think he doesn't want u back. when he goes out and has fun u find it wierd.
talk frankly to ur husband instead of torturing urself. say what u really feel and give him time to think about it.
unless u feel good on the inside, even if u are as thin as a model and as sexy as a porn star it wont help.
2007-08-10 02:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by kiki68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your the one going through this not him it may be something your lacking in yourself could it be a self esteem issue and you dont think your good enough for him anymore because of the weight gain, could be! If he doesnt have a problem with it and hasnt said anything what are you worried about and putting so much time into nothing when you could be putting the effort into the relationship if you want to loose weight then by all means do it for yourself not for him he doesnt sound like he has the problem
2007-08-03 08:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by mmedina96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno what you had discussed with your hubby but I would say the main point is that you have to let him know what you're feeling. Get him to tell you how does he feel after listening to you. Find out if there is anything he's not telling you. There has to be a common ground and the two of you have to come to the agreement whether to make it or break it. If you want to work things out and he doesn't, then you have to move on, concentrate on becoming healthy again. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Be strong and use positive words and actions instead of being confused and feel unhappy about things.
2007-08-11 05:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by marynmm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting depressed about your weight gain. You are analyzing everything....Just let it go and take all that negative energy and put it towards changing things in your life that you want to change. You need to start taking care of yourself and have a healthy attitude. I know because I was right where you are. Once you start refocusing your thoughts and feeling good about being alive, it changes everything. Your husband will also see the changes and he will be happy for you and you will be more attractive to him. Don't focus on dieting. Focus on just making little changes---walking, smaller portions, healthy snacks, smiling more, change your makeup-hair style, etc....Also, don't get mad when you "fall off" the diet wagon. Dust yourself off and start again. You can do this and I have faith in you!!!!! :-)
2007-08-03 08:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you put on weight he is probably not turned on by you like he used to. He does love you but maybe not attracted to you. It sounds sad that he is that way. I was the same way with my wife until she lost a lot of weight and now I can't keep my hands off her. Unfortunatly now she thinks she can get anyone she wants and thinks now I'm not good enough for her.
2007-08-03 08:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by give_me_somedat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing weight should be your first priority as clearly he is not attracted to you physically at the moment.
Secondly, losing weight will also enhance your own self-esteem enormously and this will make him more attracted to you on an emotional level because happy women are appealing to men.
Most importantly, look after your health. Being overweight is not keeping you healthy.
Good luck
2007-08-11 03:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just a marriage slump...you've gotten comfortable with one another....every marriage does that @ about 3 year mark. Don't blame yourself by any means. Talk to your husband about your feelings. Though it may not change it completely all the time, it will make him aware of your feelings, so if he cares he'll make strides every now and again to smooth your feather every so often.
2007-08-03 08:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty simple.....you gained weight and it dosn't turn him on to see you naked. Men are very visual creatures. I would work really hard not only for health issues but to put the passion back into your marriage. You will feel much better.
2007-08-03 08:36:08 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋