IN THE BEGINNING MY STEP SON AT AGE 12 AND I GOT ALONG. MY WIFE AND I WERE GREAT AND HAD A VERY SATISFYING LIFE. THEN ABOUT A YEAR AGO HE STARTED HAVING SCHOOL,POLICE AND DRUG PROBLEMS. I TRIED TO GET HER AND HIS NATURAL FATHER TO CLAMP DOWN AND THEY DIDNT. HE GOT BOOTED FROM SCHOOL AND I TOLD MY WIFE AFTER DISCOVERING HIS DRUGS IN OUR HOUSE THAT HE WAS WELCOME BUT HIS BEHAVIOR WASNT. SHE MOVED OUT 7 MOS AGO AND WE STILL SLEPT TOGEATHER UP TO 2 MOS AGO. THIS IS WHEN I PUSHED HER AWAY TELLING HER I NEEDED MORE. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE DIVORCE LOOMS LARGE AND YET I STILL LOVE HER. SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT FEEL ANYTHING AND I FEEL THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS INVOLVED. WAS I TOO PRIDEFUL DID I NOT TRY ENOUGH?
2007-08-03 08:25:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am proud of you for standing up to her. She is putting you and your family in a legal situation by allowing drugs in the house. There are so many split families that try to be nice to the kids to make up for their not being together, but it just hurts the child more. You could have easily gone to jail and had a drug charge on your record if the cops found it in the house. He could get mad at you and call the cops saying that you hurt him or something like that and get you in trouble. Also, any damage that he does to anyone else's property, you could held responsible
2007-08-03 09:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by buttrfly52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that a woman will always pick her child over a man. Any man. While you are justified in your attitude, your behavior was not well thought out. There was no need to get the father involved. You are the one responsible for what goes on in your house, and together with your wife, you should've taken care of the situation. From the info that you provided, I don't think there is enough evidence to draw the conclusion of another man. I think that your wife still loves you and still wants to be with you, but she is focusing all her energy, love, and attention on helping her son. You should step in and help her along with this process, and that will be the first step toward reconciling your marriage. Good luck.
2007-08-03 15:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do we ever try enough?
Your wife is going through something I am not sure you can totally relate to. Her son is on this downfall and I am sure she is depressed because of it. If she is feeling numb and depressed that could explain why she says she feels nothing. You're married and you love her so you need to keep working on this and helping her through this time.
If I were you, I would call up a child's consoler that deals with drug addiction and antisocial personalities. He/she might have some advice on how to deal with the child and deal with what you wife is going through.
Best of luck!
2007-08-03 15:31:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want this marriage to work you are going to have to reconcile with the idea that her son has some major problems and she needs a partner in helping him overcome them. A strong shoulder to lean on. Are you willing to love her and her son unconditionally? If you are then come up with a plan and present it to her. She will see how much thought and caring you put into her son and maybe she will see that you really want to be a family. Is he close to his father? Just maybe you and the son can have this awesome relationship. Be the friend and role model it sounds like he needs right now. Whatever mistakes the boy is making right now, let her and him know that its not too late to change and not to let them define who he is. If this is just too much for you, I would let her go. I know you love her, but if she is consumed with her son and that is too much for you-----???? Good Luck and I will be praying for you and your marriage!
2007-08-03 15:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were not too prideful, you were acting out of concern for the son and she did not like that. Maybe she felt you should let her handle her own son, but by getting married he also became your concern too. Let her go if she wishes, obviously she doesn't care what you think or that you care about him so much you'd be willing to put your foot down and get involved.
2007-08-03 15:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You was in the right trying to get her son help!! It may be a lost cause!! Too bad for the son that she doesn't do anything to help him! He's going to have a rough life!!
2007-08-03 15:31:53 · answer #6 · answered by MaRaNdA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, moms have a powerful connection with their sons. You will need to prove your intentions to win her back and even then, it might be an uphill battle.
2007-08-03 15:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD NOT PUT UP WITH HER NO DISCIPLINING HER SON FOR ACTING LIKE THAT AND GETTING IN TROUBLE- HONEY I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE ON - I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE HER BUT IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK IF YA'LL DONT COMPRMISE WITH THIS
2007-08-03 15:29:28 · answer #8 · answered by brandi w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter...she's over it. Let it go and move on.
Oh and by the way...when you type all caps, means you are screaming at us.
2007-08-03 15:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tried more than most people would have. Let her go. She should have appreciated the fact that you only wanted the best for her son.
2007-08-03 15:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by Shelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋