Should I walk in my college commencement?

Question

I graduate from college this December. My family and most of my friends live very far away, which makes it difficult for everyone to attend. My mom (divorced from my dad), extended family, and all but one of my siblings have already told me they cannot come. Every time I speak to my dad about it, he says we will talk about it later. My husband is in college, too, but he will not graduate for more than a year, and he does not seem thrilled about planning anything for the day. I am the top student in my department, I have won numerous awards, and it has taken me 6 years to get to this point after beginning school at 24 and having 3 children. I have no desire to put anyone in financial hardship over this, and it seems selfish to put on a day that is solely for me. Should I quietly walk in commencement and tell everyone not to come, just leave things as is, or not walk so that the money is not spent and I do not get my feelings hurt that no one could be there?

Will I care that I did not walk later? Doesn’t the degree punctuate the accomplishment? There is always graduate school graduation for me, too.

Answer 1

My suggestion would be for you to walk. I understand that you do want want to appear to be selfish but commencement is all about celebrating the student and their accomplishments.

I also am currently in college and cannot imagine skipping my commencement when I graduate. Think of how hard we work learning new material, studying, doing homework and doing our best to manage a healthy college life along with all of our other responsibilities.

Attending college is usually not too easy for the average person and I would imagine that it has not been easy for you to become the top student in your department while married with children.

Therefore, if you decide to skip the ceremony I am certain that you will regret that decision for the rest of your life and you will never be able to go back in time to recapture that moment. Not to mention that commencement is also a time for you to support your fellow classmates and to show your appreciation for all of the college instructors and staff who helped you to become a successful student, as well as potential employee.

Therefore, even if your family cannot make it because they live out of state just realize that they are still supporting you in their own way and would not feel it selfish for you to attend. After all, since they love you I would imagine that they would expect no less from you.

Plus, just because your parents are divorced and no longer a couple does not mean that they can't support you individually as their daughter. I actually was not able to attend two of my siblings college graduation ceremonies who live out of state but they both know that I strongly support them and they appreciate that. However, my inability to attend has never been an issue with us and to this day we all continue to have a positive relationship and communication.

Try not to over-analyze everything and enjoy your commencement ceremony by honoring yourself, your hard work, and this wonderful life achievement by showing up and partaking in the ceremony.

Congratulations and I'm sure everything will work out when you learn to let go and let God!

After all, one of the most important things they teach us in college is the right course of action to chose when making important decisions...and no decision is more important to an individual than to attend their own life achievement ceremonies.

Success to you and try to realize that you can never have the perfect answer for everything, nor do most reasonable people expect you to.

Answer 2

Quit worrying about how others feel about YOUR day. You've worked hard and deserve to be noticed for your accomplishment. Tell them that you are going to walk, give them the option of coming, and then focus on celebrating.

As for your husband.....if he truly feels that way, he should be ashamed. How would he feel if you were to act that way when his time comes to graduate?

Don't even consider skipping the ceremony. There were several thousand in my graduating class, but I never felt lost in the crowd. My friends/fellow grads didn't allow it, and I'm sure yours will support you as well.

Congratulations!

Answer 3

i think that no matter what, you should walk anyway. i mean you worked your butt off (i assume) to get the awards and grades that it took to get you to that point, and the commencement is a way to kindof finalize that. i think that you should let everyone know that you would love for them to attend if they could (explaining the awards, years it took etc. without making them feel like they're forced to come), if they still can't come for whatever reason, just thank them anyway, i mean atleast you tried. best of luck

Answer 4

Congratulations.!!!! Please walk , this is your day ,take yourself out for lunch go for a walk in the park , anything , you will always remember this day .I hope for your husbands sake that he steps up to the plate, what goes around comes around. You are to be commended. Good luck

Answer 5

first of all congratulations on your achievement,and no i don't think you should walk quietly,i think you deserve to get a big hell ya,3 kids and doing what you did,no you deserve much more then that,no matter who comes or not,celebrate loudly you deserve it

Answer 6

Congratulations! Walk, hold your head up high and don't worry about the idiots who aren't there for you. Plan the day for yourself, be proud, you totally deserve it.

RESPECT!!!!

Answer 7

you go girl this is your day you asked people screw them. share the spotlight with friends.as time goes by those nasty people that didn't show up you should shove it down their throat every chance you get .enjoy your day you worked hard for it.good luck

Answer 8

yes you will regret not walking and its big moment for you you worked hard. tell them i fthey watn to come come if they dont' don't you will be happy with whom comes and that is all that counts for you take care and congrats.