I have been with my fiance for 3 years, and we live together.I have been there through thick and thin. Since we'be been together his mom has Not Once come over to visit us, I only met her 4 times, and that was when WE went to visit her. In Nov. he was in the hospital and called his mom to come visit. He was there for 4 days. She never came. They haven't talked since. Now my boyfriend is in the hospital again, he had surgery this time. He is in a lot of pain and needs to be taken care of. His mom is ONLY there 'cause she was at the hospital visiting her mom, when she told her she just ran into her son, and she should go see him. She wouldn't have come otherwise. Well now she is just taking over. She is pushing me out of the way. Even though I was the one to stayed with him the WHOLE time last time he was in the hospital. I can't stand that now all the sudden she wants to act like his mom. He enjoys having her around, but I am getting very jealous for his attention. Am I wrong??
2007-08-03 07:02:41 · 21 answers · asked by Stark 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know she is not technically my mother in law, but it is easier to say that than my fiance's mother, and we are going to get married.
2007-08-03 07:07:55 · update #1
I guess it is just hard to go from him practically having NO mother (even though she lives 20 minutes away) to all the sudden yesterday he has this over the top mom, who waits on him hand and foot, rubs his back, and baby talks him. I feel like a woman that I don't even know has taken over caring for my man. It feels wierd, and I am bitter about it. But you guys have helped me clear my head. I was over come with jealousy, but you have helped me realize that EVERYONE wants their mom when they are in need, and I just need to step back and be polite and kind to her.
2007-08-03 07:34:29 · update #2
quit being selfish...let them make-up
2007-08-03 07:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by MCK_23_L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a good look now. I can tell you I married a guy like yours mother never came to the hospital when he was sick,
never called or saw her. After we got married she made the
first 1 1/2 a living hell for me. She then wanted to play mommies and he loved every minute of it as he turned into a 6 year old all of a sudden. So, no your not wrong I was not jealous but annoyed that she was so selfish, bitter, and resent full that he had someone in his life. Take it from me the less you say to her the better and if she See's you angry she will only look to annoy you more. Let this one go. Good luck and congrats on the wedding
2007-08-03 15:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say Yes and No. In a way you should be happy that his Mom is finally acting like a mother should. If she doesn't live far away and she doesn't have any medical problems it seems like the mother should have an active roll in both of your lives. It's a little strange that she doesn't seem to really be to concerned about her sons well being. However if shes willing to be a mom now then I would let her. You can both be there for him and take care of him because you both have different qualities that he needs. Mothers have a special touch but so do wives and he wants you to be there just as much. It's a time to be there for him not to play jealous wife.
2007-08-03 14:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by chelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I have to disagree with almost everyone else on this one. I think you are right to feel resentful of a come by night mother. Frankly, she shouldn't be shoving you out of the way or acting superior to you. Yes, she is his mother, and her coming to see him was nice, whether it was really on purpose or not. But, after that, she shouldn't take over. YOU are the one who has been there for 3 years, and who he wants to live the rest of his life with, not a mother who hasn't even seen him in 3 years (at least) from the sound of it. I wouldn't cause a big scene at the hospital, but I just want to be the one to say that NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG TO BE UPSET BY THIS.
2007-08-03 14:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family: You can not choose your brothers , sisters, mother or Father;
You can choose your fiance and friends.
Explain your uncomfortability with the ***** now showing up, ask him how does that make him feel since she is attempting to push you out of the way?
He should consider whay part in his life his momma is going to play in the relationship between the two of you.
Sounds like he may be a bit of a "mammas boy"?
Some of the other men who answered are definately "Mammas boys" LOL
2007-08-11 05:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by old man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is a chance for her to make up for last time. She obviously has issues. Once your bf makes a full recovery things will probably go back to normal. You cannot come between the bond that they have, you'll just come across as a B****. Just let them spend some time together and be nice, no matter how hard it is, take the high road.
2007-08-03 14:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sugar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say you are "wrong." Rather, I would say that you are taking this a bit harsh. I mean, for whatever reason he and his mother's relationship became strained at some point. I'm sure he loves his mom and simpmly wanted to reconnect somehow. Now that has happened, they are re-bonding and trying to repair whatever happened in the past. YOu need to give this to him. It is not like he is choosing her over you.
2007-08-03 14:06:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is many angles to look at this.
Maybe she feels guilty and trying to make up for it.
Maybe she didn't feel needed before.
Maybe your taking it hard cause your used to doing it all by yourself and now your sharing it?
Just try to keep the peace with her for his sake. And your tough you can do it. Thank her for being there no matter how mean she is, and keep your cool. You will feel better in the long run. Keep doing what you do, because your fiance loves you for it!
2007-08-03 14:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw heck...since she is only around rarely, let her take care of him now. If you get in between your fiance and his mom, you will probably lose. Blood is thicker than water.
He knows what is going on, but that is his MOM, and when you feel bad, you always want your mother. Let them have their time together for now. It won't last long anyway.
2007-08-03 14:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's happy, that's what matters. Mom will go home, and you'll have him back to yourself. The thing to keep in mind is that it's his mom, and if you push too far, you'll upset him.
It's about him right now, and regardless of her perceived motivations, guys like to be babied by mom as much as we do. Just be patient and she'll go away.
2007-08-03 14:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by misshelenes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong, you need to take her aside and tell her that you have been there for him and will always be there and instead of dealing with this all on your own let me take sum of the burden, don't be mean, give her the respect of the fact she is his mother regardless of how you feel about her do NOT let her know that you are irritated with her, she will use that against you, kill her with kindness
2007-08-03 14:22:46 · answer #11 · answered by switchmistress 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋