the people he is going with,are going for more than to WATCH women,and i don't want im to be a part of that.
2007-08-03 06:32:21 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go with him or tell him how you feel. If he doesn't agree to those terms then i don't know. Most of those places aren't places to get laid.
2007-08-03 06:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you just talk to him. If there are things you don't want him to do you should set some guidelines. Tell him why you dont want him to go. Don't just act jealous because that'll just make him go. Tell him you feel disrespected because he would be looking at another naked woman. Ask him how would he feel if you did the same thing to him. If he just doesn't care of if he feels pressured by his friends into going, then he is just immature and not ready for a committed relationship. This is a warning sign for you to what your future with him might be like. Women need to stand up for what they strongly believe in and not give in to men's bad habits. If I ever caught my husband doing this, yes he would be out the door, because I have already set guidelines to what I consider unacceptable and so has he. Mutual respect is key in a marriage. It is not about being whipped etc. Men who say that are just big babies that are not ready and should not be in a committed relationship. Don't you think that he would do the same to you if you cheated? Honey he wouldn't think twice about kicking you out. Have some cojones! Good luck and stand up for what you believe in! It's called having self esteem! There are many many many more men out there that are not childish!
2007-08-03 13:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by greysfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unacceptable place for a married man. Go with or divorce. New husband can be new divorce' quickly this marriage will only get worse and if you allow it now it will never end. If he wanted to party like a kid he shouldn't have taken vows. Drinks with the guys once in a while is acceptable, this is not. Don't stand for it I promise you being single again will be better than going through this constantly.
2007-08-03 13:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch...that is one 3rd degree burn towards you.!.
.I'm serious.
.Alright, so did you know he was into that type of stuff before you two got married? (Please say no).
.If you did know that he was into that type of stuff and whatever, then like anyone else I have to ask...WHY did you marry him. Especially since you are not comfortable with the idea...to me it does not make sense at all.
.If you did not know that he was into that type of stuff, then I can understand why you would/could be shocked and concerned.
*I don't think there really is any way you can prevent him from going there...or anywhere he wants to go for that matter. All you can do is express your concerns about him going, and whether or not he listens and takes what you say to him to heart or not...well that is his choice. As much as it hurts to think about it, he is going to do whatever he wants, whether you like it or not.
.I personally think that when you try and keep someone from doing the things they enjoy doing, you only cause them to become somewhat rebellious and then they act out by doing it anyways. Then it turns into they'll sneak around and do it, etc etc. It's almost like raising a kid....I mean if you put limitations to what they like doing, they'll find a way to do it no matter what.
*Also I think sometimes some men/women aren't prepared to grow up and be responsible when they get married. And that seems to be your husbands case so far, I think that with marriage both parties have to make some type of sacrafice(s) in order to keep their bond strong. *
.However...some people just don't adapt to that lifestyle at all...and they don't like changes and they don't like being told they should have to change themselves or the way they used to live before they got married.
.So I'm just saying that you can talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. BUT there is no gaurantee that you are going to keep him from going or make him change his old ways. People will not change unless they want to change themselves...
.Good luck.
2007-08-03 13:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything goes? That can't be good. You better get an invite to hang with them. Make sure you understand that what his friends do is off limits for further discussion though or you won't get the invite. He has to trust that you understand the dynamics of guy friendships. We don't tell.
2007-08-03 14:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very demeaning and unhealthy life style. You must demand that he respect and love you enough to stay away from this activity. Tell him, "Them or me". And mean it. Then stop getting into sexually diverted things (phorn depicted in movies, magazines and on the internet) and people who encourage this. Both of you.
Consider what real love is. 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. GOD
2007-08-03 13:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. My husband goes to exotic clubs and I don't like it but I can't do anything about it. Your husband should respect your wishes HOWEVER you have to trust him. Ask him why he wants to go and participate in that/he is putting himself on the edge of temptation. Like Rodney Dangerfield says "3 minutes of pleasure isn't worth 3 hours of bullshit"....
Is this a special occasion such as bachelor party? Or is this something that is going to be ongoing? If its a bachelor party and he doesn't regularly go, then just trust him but express your concern...you can't control other people just yourself.
If this is going to be the start of something ongoing then you need to nip it now and say you would like to go to therapy to work through these issues because when he goes to those places it makes you feel bad (i.e. rejected, sad, jealous, angry, worried)
2007-08-03 13:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seriously Brandi you do not deserve this.
Any man that truly loves a woman wouldn't even consider bringing this up to her. he would of outrightly declined the invitation.
I feel bad you have a husband like this. I really do.
2007-08-03 14:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he used to go to these kind of clubs before you married him?if you let him before and don't want him to go now he will think you are trying to be controlling,he let you know he was gonna go so he wasn't being sneeky about it ,i suggest that you buy a sexy nighty put on some music and meet him at the door when he comes home give him a kiss and pull him to the kitchen sit him on a chair give him a lap dance,this way you both enjoy it when you both finish suggest that you both take a shower to clean up ,if after this he still wants to go to the club after that divorce him and i will give you my email address
2007-08-03 13:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by john e 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH hell no if you don't want him to go them tell him if he goes there will be H E L L to pay when he gets back. you need to talk to him that's very wrong he needs to see hes married now and cant do that any more. good luck
2007-08-03 13:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to go. Why does a married man have to go to a strip club when he has a wife at home?
2007-08-03 13:36:26 · answer #11 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋