I'm wondering, What to do to about so many young pregnant girls? Adolescents and parents, what can we all do?

Question

do to avoid this to keep happening?
Don't you think is preocupant to see the amount of questions like...
Can i be pregnant? Am i pregnant? What to do, i'm adolescent and i am pregnant?...
Can we all talk about it? i am a mother of a twelve year old boy and i don't want him to have to deal with this kind of situation, and any of his friends either, but i don't know how to talk about it with him, i don't know what to say.
Adolescents .. what can i do? help me, and let's help other young people, please!!

Answer 1

It is good that you bring this subject up. Yes, young people will have sex and obviously, nothing is going to stop them from expressing their feelings. I feel that there should be a talk from either the parents or sex education in schools about different forms of birth control. My mom, as akward as it was, talked to me about sex and told me how it was done and such when I was young (around 7) when I asked. It was very simple and she stressed to me that it was ok to want to know. I was shocked to find out what it was, but I appreciated my mom being honest with me. Later, when I was around 14, I had a serious boyfriend. She came in my room and told me about the whole "urges" thing, that they are natural, and that having them is not bad. After that, she told me that when I was ready to act on these urges, to protect myself. She told me about condoms and how they worked and the pill. She also told me that whenever I felt ready to have sex, I could come to her, and she would take me to get put on the pill. Well, around a year later, I felt ready, and had yet another uncomfortable talk with my mom. She wasn't mad or anything; she actually gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me for being responsible. We went, and around a year after being on them, I became sexually active. I never became pregnant, but if my mom had never told me, I proably would be or would have been by now.

There is no way to get past the uncomfortable stage in this. It's odd becuase it's your kid, and it's odd for them because you are mom, and such words as "penis," "condoms," and "sex" are never to be said by mom, right? Wrong. As gross as it is, kids will appreciate that they can come to you with this stuff. Most learn it from their friends (one of my friends said two condoms were better than one, so you can see that the information gained at school is NOT right). Let them know you wont be angry with them if they so choose to ask questions or want to become sexually active and DON'T! By being open with them, it may gross them out a bit, but be sure to talk to your kids about it. I love my mom even more for being there for me and letting me know it was ok, that I wasn't dirty, and giving me information. In fact, all my friends were jealouse, because their parents simply told them, "You have sex, you get....AIDS, STD's, death, kicked out of the house, pregnant (which can be true), or go to hell." This doesn't make them stop, it just makes them not come to you until it's too late.

Just let him know that it will be odd, and you know it's not something you want to hear from mom, but it's better that it is you before he has sex, than you after he has a girl pregnant.

Good luck!

Answer 2

There are so many good answers people have already given, but let me add a different perspective.

Someone else commented that young teens have too much freedom and access to the wrong kinds of information. I think you as a mother can counter that by bombarding your son with the RIGHT information

Sex education for girls is usually pretty comprehensive discussion. Sex education for boys usually consists of...'wear a condom' or 'make sure she's on the pill'. After the generic "how to put a condom on" discussion at my school, all the boys had to leave the room for break while the girls got a further discussion. Do schools still separate them like this?

But what if she's on the pill but doesn't know how to use it? Girls are taught how to recognize if the guy is using the condom correctly, but why are boys not taught how female birth control DOES and DOES NOT work? Cause when she pops up pregnant, you can be sure they'll be placing half the blame on him.

Instead of boys growing up and having to leave family planning in the woman's hand, in the 21st century girls AND boys should be taught the TRUTHS and MYTHS of the many birth control options out there for both sexes.

Answer 3

I do agree that the number and absurdity of sex and pregnancy questions on YA is alarming. I don't think the problem is education, though. Most teens KNOW about condoms and birth control, and even about Planned Parenthood; the problem is the "it can't happen to me" mentality. Teens think they can have unprotected sex once or even a handful of times and not get pregnant, because pregnancy is something that happens to others, not to them. It's the same with kids who drink and drive or drive sober but recklessly - they don't believe that THEY will get into a fatal accident. An average of 7 are wrong every single day in America alone.

I do think that parenting has something to do with it. My biggest regret are the teens who automatically assume that abortion is an option for them. In my opinion, abortion has become way too mainstream - it's being used as birth control. What kind of morality is that?

Answer 4

Their parents need to stop letting them run wild and teach them to have a little self respect. Although, any really young mother I know, her mother had a baby very early as well. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Parents should also pay close attention to the company their kids keep. Some kids start out good and then get mixed up in the wrong crowd.

Answer 5

What you have to realize is that teens... If they want to, will have sex.

Really all you can do is make sure they are aware of sex. Many parents DONT agree, but if kids DONT know, how are they supposed to be aware of how they can get pregnant? My nephew just now turned 12 and he's been thinking about seriously having sex for a year. He is very open about it and my sister has taught him that he should wait but that if he can't he needs to use a condom and so forth and always come to her so she can keep an eye out for diseases and so on.

My whole class went to a sex ed class in 6th grade, when we were 11-12 and I glad that I did.

So I think that letting your children know what happens and be sure you stress safety and condoms, they will be fine. Wouldn't it also be better to KNOW what they are doing rather than WORRY about what they are doing, who they are doing it with and where they are doing it? I think this is the problem nowadays, parents are just too strict when remember way in the past, it was commen for women to marry and start having children as young as 12. It is natural for children to start thinking about sex at that age, whether parents want to try and change that :)

Answer 6

What we need to implement in America's society is a good relationship between parents and kids.

Parents need to stop being the "bully" type of people. If there kids can be honest with them, then they can tell them that they are interested in having sex. That way the parents can step in and stop them.

Stop trying to make your kids afraid of you. Be tough with them when they're little, so they don't grow up spoiled and needing. Then when they turn like 10 be more gentle. Take them on shopping sprees, getting nails done, just hanging out. Set a good relationship between mother/daughter. I had a good relationship with my mom and here I am still NOT pregnant at age 24. Wow, thats like a record for America. I'm not getting pregnant until i'm married!

So please everyone, set a good relationship with your children. Being parents is a gift, not something you should waste.

all my best,
Brittney xo

Answer 7

Well I'm a teenager myself and I detest such things. So I think the most helpful thing to do would be sit down with your son and explain to him the consequences of such actions. It would help if you make it as gruesome and troubling as possible. Like, explain that if he does get someone pregnant what it could do to his life, how troublesome it could be, how it could get in the way of achieving his dreams and that its not worth it at all. Teenagers like stats so if you give him some stats and details then he'd probably understand. If not you could take him to these sessions, organizations have for kids. I bet they could talk some sense into him.

Answer 8

The problem is education. Our society has become so puritan, where we refuse to teach proper sex-ed in schools, and parents don't have the balls to talk to their children about this as they should. Worse than this, the Bible-thumping Religious Right makes it a sin to discuss these things openly. The result: kids are not armed with the knowledge to prevent teenage pregnancy. You will never stop them from doing the deed, but some extensive knowledge of the consequences would go a long way. Look at Europe - why do you suppose the teenage pregnancy rate is so low there? Education!

Answer 9

well I'm relief that some one like you are here!
we cant do anything!
i mean yeah I'm ashamed and confuse with the amount of question keep pouring down like what you said!
they have to understand that sex isn't game and wear protection, that kind of stuff!
but i think i will blame the society!!
see, when we see or hear every where starting from TV shows.. alot of them sending message that if u r VIRGIN u r a LOSER!!
i mean hello??!!!
notice it!
its crazy,as im living in Indonesia, its far more better not good but at least not many cases like this and SPECIALLY NOT FROM 14/15 YEARS GALS!!!
eeewwww...!!!!
so as i say its a sad thing, they should understand and hope one of them look and see this question that you posted and we all answer and make them to think and learn!!

-peace-

Answer 10

Parenting skills are severely lacking in today's society.
They want to be their child's "friend, buddy, pal".
it does not work for the benefit of the child's morality.
Instilling high moral standards takes a lot of effort on the parent's part, but CAN be done. I am doing it & know lots of families that are, also.
Granted, some kids will fall prey to the immoral lifestyle no matter how hard you try... but you have to try, right?

Answer 11

How about recognizing that young adult people engage in sexual activity with whomever they please. Always have, always will, inspite of any laws, paradigms, more's ethics, principles or any reasons other than decisions that they make given their own personal moral standards. They have a human right to own their own bodies and that no one but the individual has a right to make decisions regarding their bodily function except the individual. Once our culture begins to respect these fundamental human dignities and Rights, with a protection of a right to privacy and proper education, you will likely see this problem greatly decline. This is how the rest of the world for the most part views this matter with exception to us and Britain and the Anglo world selectivly.