my 22 year old brother died almost 3 years ago and i still dont know how to help my familys grief ?

Question

my family has never been the same since. we all loved him dearly but the man who run him over got away with it and laughed at us i

Answer 1

That's terrible that the man got off like that. All I can say is pray alot and continue to stay close to your family. And also celebrate the life of your brother. It hurts but it helps. That's what me & my family did when my niece was killed in a car accident three weeks ago.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for all of you and your loss. I lost a 17 year old brother and all of my family was devastated by this to and you never get over it. Also, my nephew was only 3 years old and his babysitter beat him on the back of his head. She had only watched him for 3 weeks when it happened. He was on life support for 27 hrs and then he died. The woman was from another country and she left the states and the authorities never found her. I don't know the reasons why things like this happen to us or how people get away with murder? It is so heartbreaking how our whole lives are changed from it and there is never closure for us. Your whole world looks so different like a piece of the puzzle is missing and nothing feels the same. It takes time and years to pass to compartmentalize it all in your head but it never really goes away. I don't know if grief counseling can help..... our family never tried it but maybe all of you could? My family continues to stay close and we just talk about it sometimes and comfort each other the best we can. We still cry and feel angry and after we get it all out we remember the good things about them that sometimes can bring a smile to our face. No one can take our memories from us they are with us inside our hearts forever ....No, it doesn't bring them back but, that is all we have. I often imagine them being in a better place where they feel no suffering waiting for us to be with them where we are all happy again. I do believe there is a heaven where someday I will understand the sense of all these things but, for now I can only wait patiently and, be gratefull for the precious time I did have them in my life and, was honered to know them! Take care and love your family and never take one another forgranted.

Answer 3

Very sad Christina, but trust me Karma works in mysterious ways and the guy who laughed at you and your family for getting away with running over your brother will get his. But that is not the important thing at present. Yes everyone deals with grief differently and your brother should remain in your memories but at some time in your lives you have to move on. I'm pretty sure that is what he is would have wanted also. Most cities have either a hospice or counsellors you can go and talk with to receive grief counselling. You and your family might be wise to go for a couple of sessions of grief counselling to try and help you overcome this awful loss in your lives. Best of luck to all involved.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear that! :( But now is when you and your family need to turn to God! Your brother is in a bbetter place looking down on you and your family. I know this is an answer that most people don't want to hear but God heels all! I'm not an expert but I do believe that if you turn to God at a time when things a rough he will help you through it. Well all have our time when God call us and your family was lucky enough to have him for 22 years! My brother never got to hold his second daughter alive, she died about 20 - 25 weeks old. We are sad and some days it's hard when I see my son who was born days before she died, I think why. But then I realize god had his reason and although I'm not 100% better. It helps to know he blessed my family with what we have and to Cherish everyone while they are hear. But also know they are always with you!

Answer 5

I'm sorry for the loss of your dear brother.
When events so painful like such a tragic death occur, families can experience a lot of turmoil, grow sometimes apart. It must be a lot of anger in each of your family members along with hopelessness, powerlessness feelings because of the way your brother died and the way the "justice" system handled the man who killed him, mixed with grief because all of you loved the gentleman who was your brother. I'd recommend you to convince your family to look for help going to see all together, a grief counselor, to have family counseling, for all of you to process all these feelings, talking openly about them in a safe therapeutic setting. You need to listen to each other, and support each other, be a source of strengh for each other, but you don't know how to do this.You all are locked in silence, pain, anger. You all need to heal, although it doesn't mean your loved one will be forgotten: the pain, anger will never go away, but they will hurt less than what they hurt now. A third party, a neutral person, skilled like a counselor specialist in gief counseling, could make a difference in your lives.
I wish you good luck .

Answer 6

My 22 year old brother was killed instantly in a car accident 4 years ago on August 9, 2003. I don't think you ever get over it, it is still hard for all of my family. The guy who killed him had fallen asleep behind the wheel. He got 2 months in jail and probation and was supposed to do another 2 months at the end of his probation. While he was out on probation he picked up a male hitch hiker and raped him at gun point and is going to prison for life, I don't understand why God took my brother who was innocently driving to work and let this creep live he destroyed so many people's lives.

Answer 7

I know that death breaks your heart, over & over again! The best way to deal with death is to BE GENTLE with yourselves... Try to understand that each soul has a blue print in life. There is the birth, the life, & the exit. Murder or Suicide is an "unexpected" exit... And very unfair. That's why these types of deaths are far more rare than "natural causes" - we just hear about them more on TV... And unfortunately, for the surivors, it is very much more difficult to grieve... But, allowing the grief is the best way to start healing... Let the emotions flow & miss him, love him... remember him... and then set him free! He loves you all dearly & misses you too! But honestly, he is Happy!

Bless you & your family!

Answer 8

I am sorry to hear of the death of your brother. I am sure it was a shock to you and your parents because it happened so fast therefore, you had no time to prepare for it to happen. I would suggest that you keep on loving your parents and go for some grief counseling.
I lost my father when I was 8, but he was in the hospital at the time. Now, I am 70 and there are times that I still miss him. So, it will take time for it to lessen, but it will never go away.
Please get some kind of help, so you all can go on with your lives.

Answer 9

i've got observed with acquaintances and kinfolk that at concerning the 5-year mark, issues start to instruct around. you will continually omit your dad and mom and moments of grief will possibly continually floor, in basic terms thank God for the time you had with them and attempt to be a stable discern on your little ones, existence is quite harsh each and every each and every so often.

Answer 10

You can't people all grieve diff. and in their own way. You need to go on with your own life and live it to its fullest. They will come around it there own time. It doesn't mean that you loved him less if you move on before them it's just diff. for all. I have an Aunt who lost a son in the army and didn't come out of the house for 20 years. You cant make people change they need to deal with it them self's. You can encourage but it's up to them. Peace to you and your family.