Ok, so my parents show on and off that they like him. That could put stress on someone, am i right? well my parents put so much stress on my boyfriend that now, he just doesn't care. he's not gonna try and impress them anymore. he doesn't even come down from his car to greet them when he comes to pick me up. when ever my parents have a birthday coming up, he doesn't even think to buy a gift, but is forced to by his wonderfully nice mother. his mom shows so much respect to my mom but my side of the family thinks they're so high above them!
What I'm worried about is that when it comes to him asking for my parents' blessing for us to be married, I'm afraid that my parents will say no because of how he's been acting lately. my parents are not gonna admit that they've been acting this way, but its up to them if I can get married or not.
Should I be worried?
2007-08-03 05:12:36 · 9 answers · asked by SiMpLy.HaPpiE 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you boyfriend should never have had to put on an act to impress your parents or anyone... if he met them, and if they don't see eye-to-eye, well, life goes on!
it's nice when our parents and partners get along, but this isn't always the case. Your parents don't have to slobber all over your boyfriend every time he comes over. sometimes a simple "hello" will do...
your boyfriend needs to start doing what's best for him and you need to stop worrying about everything.
if your family has a superiority complex, you can't change that either.
just enjoy your relationship if that is what you want.
2007-08-03 05:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not an issue to be skimmed over and forgotten, yet, it's not an issue he can be pressured into dealing with. This sort of situation may be viewed as difficulty in forming an attachment in adult life. Generally; Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy. You should read up on that topic and see about this point as well. GOALS OF THERAPY 1. Identify early losses 2. Mourn the loss of that which never was but yearned for deeply 3. Provide closure to the unresolved relationship longings with parental attachment figures 4. Reorganize belief system and physiological reaction to attachment relationships Gratefully, attachment styles are not fixed in stone and with either positive life experience or appropriate therapeutic intervention and a strong desire for change adults can alter their relationships and experience true intimacy and closeness.
2016-04-01 16:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he is treating your parents this way then you shouldn't even marry him until he changes. It's kind of immature that he just waits in his car when he comes to pick you up. You want there blessing and you want them to be happy with such a big decision like marrying someone. He needs to get along with your family because if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you want them to be a part of your family and know that your family loves him and he loves your family.
2007-08-03 05:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The real question is do you want to marry him? If your questioning his character then it can't be a good relationship try talking to him about how you feel about how he treats your parents, let him know what you think. A relationship needs truth in order to survive and honesty.
2007-08-03 05:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by nightwishgirl1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow some balls, and stand up to your parents. They decide if you can get married? What, do you live in a small village in northern Iraq or something? If they can't see the good in him, then you have to stand up for him. If you can't do that, then you aren't the woman for him.
2007-08-03 05:22:59 · answer #5 · answered by brinntache 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well think about it this way - this will continue for the rest of your life, if you choose to marry this guy and personally, it seems like way too much work.
I'm fortunate that my family loves my hubby and he loves them so there aren't any problems.
2007-08-03 05:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You still live with your parents and are wanting to get married. HEHE focus on that problem first!
2007-08-03 05:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why the hell do u care what ur parents think if they say no are u really not gonna marry the him? cuz if ur not then ur pretty dumb no offense
2007-08-03 05:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do mean it's up to your parents? How old are you?
2007-08-03 05:17:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋