My wife caught me smoking behind her back. In the beginning she told me that she would never be with me if I smoked and I quit for her. But I recently started again and she caught me. Now she is totally upset and she doesn't think she can trust me anymore. I am completely in love with her and will do anything to gain her trust and foregive me for my actions. Please help me get my wife back.
2007-08-03 04:55:19 · 18 answers · asked by bk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Have a serious conversation with her and admit in front of her that you had a weak moment, what human being hasn't, and even if it's hard for her to forgive you and trust you now, you'll probe to her that it won't happen again and you'll do anything to regain her trust, and one last thing; love is forgiving.
2007-08-03 05:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This little lady has got you right where she wants you my dear!
And it is not a very nice game that she is playing.
She knows how much you love her - but to cause this much hysteria over SMOKING!!!!
When I read your leader I thought AT LEAST you had been keeping 2 or 3 mistresses on the side!
She doesn't think that she can trust you? Are you serious?
If you really want to go about this the nice way - and you sound like just about the nices man on the planet to me - you ask MISS CONTROLLER to help you to kick the habit. Throw yourself on her mercy and ask for her help. Tell her that you are an addict and like all addicts - your drug of choice makes you into a bad person - telling lies and going behind her back.
I can't believe that I am now going along with this!
Tell her that you only kept it a secret because your love for her is so important that you didn't want to hurt her and the deception was hurting you just as much as she is hurting now.
Ask her to help you.
That should appeal to the saint in her!
And give her a reality check - tell her to read some of the stuff on these pages where women are totally destroyed by the vile shinnanagins the man that they are with.
And if that doesn't work - could it be that the smoking ban that she has imposed is actually a symtom of a greater ill?
Is she looking for a get out clause?
I wish you luck - quitting smoking (which is disgusting actually!) and with your VERY DEMANDING and obviously without fault herself - lovely wife!
All the best Smokin' Bandit!!!!
2007-08-03 05:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First- Get the shot, or gum, or patches... whatever it takes.
Second- Get a big box of chocolates or flowers or (heck a nice necklace ALWAYS worked on me.)
Third- Write something like this on the card---- My love and friend. I am so sorry that I have let you down. I am sorry that you feel that you can not trust me. Know that I love you and that you can trust me... I am just human and we all make mistakes. I am going to ( fill in the blank - get the shot, gum hypnosis whatever) I want to ask for your love and support to finally let go of this pointless vice. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Much love and hope.... what ever your name is. If it does not work the first time then try it again in a couple more days. Most importantly if she needs some space... let her have it. She will come around. Right now she just feels like that is more important to you than she is... help her to see that is not true. Unless it is in which case you should just keep smoking and get a lawyer. Good luck!!!
2007-08-03 05:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by justtrytobenice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to prove to her you will quit - your words won't cut it this time since you told her before and went back on your words so actions are all that will help regain that trust. Get on the patch, or whatever else you can to ensure you quit for good this time. Apologize and tell her you messed up, but that you're human, and you really love her. And then show her how much by following through with your promise.
2007-08-03 04:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the most important thing in a relationship!! If you really want to quit, ask her for her help. Tell her it's not going to be easy but in the end it'll be better for you and her. My step father smoked for 37 years and he just recently quit. It was hard for him at first but my mom understood that!! If your wife truly loves you she'll stick by you! Just tell her to please be patient and understanding!!!
2007-08-03 05:04:08 · answer #5 · answered by hmmarshall21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you restart? Communication is the only way to fix it. If you are stressed and started smoking to relieve it I'd start by discussing why you chose to start smoking again and work from there. I'd also suggest you quit again, but in the end that is solely your decision.
2007-08-03 04:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by ES 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be a complete open book and QUIT smoking. be apologetic but don't let her beat you with your mistake, it's not like you were having an affair or leading a secret life. All dishonesty in a relationship is bad but your mistake should be easy to overcome.
2007-08-03 06:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by Shavon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand her being upset, but she also needs to understand that smoking is an addiction and it isn't that easy to quit. If it were, there wouldn't be so many remedies to help you quit, nor so many smokers in the world! Ask her forgiveness and also ask her to help you. You need support to be successful. good luck!
2007-08-03 04:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's your choice to smoke, if that is what you want to do.
it's very unhealthy but i would be the pot calling the kettle black, if i told you what to do, because i'm an on-again, off-again smoker myself.
if you want to quit, you probably know about all of the over the counter help...
if you don't, your wife is going to have to accept it.
why is she trying to make your choices, anyway?
take care, and i hope it works out.
2007-08-03 04:59:15 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you will do anything for her -- quit smoking and mean it this time -- and in the future be honest with her -- tell her if you are craving cigarettes and ask her for her help -- women by nature would like to help you with your problems -- and remember don't lie it really is the worst thing you can do -- best of luck to you!
2007-08-03 04:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by sunrise 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋