Situation with friends - how would you feel? What would you do? Am I justified in my feelings?

Question

I've been best friends with this guy for 10 years. We're like brother and sister now. He's been in a serious relationship for about 2 years and I've been in a serious relationship for about a year. Out of respect for our significant others, we don't hang out alone anymore like we used to. His girlfriend has had a friend for quite a while who was just out of the picture and wasn't really in our "friend circle." Now she is the youth pastor at our church and another girlfriend and I have tried to get her to hang out with us and all the times except one she has made an excuse or used her husband as a reason why she couldn't hang out with us or she just doesn't even return our calls. Last Friday, she called my best friend and his girlfriend (also a friend of mine before she and my friend started dating) and asked them if they wanted to go to a movie. I just don't understand why at the very least my best friend wouldn't have invited me too. He knows I've been trying to be friends with this

new girl. I asked him why he couldn't have thought that this was his chance to use his "connection powers" and get two of his friends together. I've been trying really hard and she's nice to me and laughs at my jokes. I don't think it's that she doesn't like me. She just doesn't try to be friends with new people. She and her husband are very exclusive and my best friend and his girlfriend don't try to help. I feel like they like this exclusivity and don't want me horning in on their friendship so I'm just very hurt by the whole situation.

Am I wrong in feeling this way? Am I too pushy? Do I sound crazy?

How would you feel? Thanks!

Well, I wouldn't be a 5th wheel. It would be my and my boyfriend hanging out with the 4 of them

Answer 1

you are worrying about other people when you could be taking care of YOU.

if this person wants to associate with you, she will do so.

i don't think this is as big of a problem as you do.... probably because i figure everyone has a right to hang out with whoever they want, and if it's not me, well, i have better things to do anyway.

take care.

Answer 2

I think they do double dating and one extra just isnt in the rule. Let your friend have some hanging out time without you. That way he will apreciate your company more.Dont try to be friends with someone that doesnt apreciate you.Sounds like the new girl is a total b-i-t-c-h