Well, now I have no idea what to do. I have to admit that last week my 17 year old daughter caught my wife and I having sex and we all just pretended like nothing happened. Yesterday, I walk in on her having sex with her boyfriend and another girl. I don't quite know how to give the birds and the birds and the bee talk. However, my wife and I are very sexually liberal and it would sound very hypocritical if we started preaching that having a threesome is wrong, or deviant, or bad. Yet, it sounds like we should have some conversation with our daughter? Should we?
2007-08-03 00:41:37 · 17 answers · asked by rattwagon 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes you should have a conversation with her. But I think it should be along the lines of how best to practice safer sex and making sure that she is aware of the importance of taking precautions against STDs. It probably wouldn't hurt to bring the further importance of being SSC...Safe, Sane, and Consensual in all her explorations.
Having a threesome isn't bad or deviant, but it is a great way to explore one's sexuality especially if there are bi-sexual feelings.
Oh and a suggestion from the mother of seven (most of them adults now) when you chat with her, make it a casual setting and casual conversation. I generally do a "let's go have coffee type of thing".
2007-08-03 00:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, not about the birds and the bees, because it sounds to me like she is pretty aware of the birds, the bees, and the honey! But, maybe you should talk to her about making sure she's protecting herself, and respect of the home. It's really all you can say! The damage is done, I definitely would not NOT say anything and act like it did not happen. Talk about it with her and get her take on it, and go from there....be blessed! Oh, I don't care how liberal you are, no one would be having sex in my house, but me! Point blank.
2007-08-03 07:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are way too late for a "birds and bees" talk.
Make an appointment for daughter with a gynecologist. Ask the doctor to talk with her about birth control and about STD's. Explain to daughter that once a person becomes sexually active, he or she needs to see a doctor. Drive her to the doctor if necessary.
That's about all you can do at this point.
2007-08-03 07:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by Suz123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is too late for the birds & the bees. Make sure she is having safe sex, birth control, condoms & teach her how to lock a door, oh yeah & you both need to learn how to knock & get a come on in before entering.Other than that have her checked regularly for STD's & pregnancy. oh yeah & tell her that is the easiest way to lose your boyfriend, cause it usually means the girl is interested in him or her & after that he may, even if he wasn't before, become interested in the other girl.
2007-08-03 08:05:30 · answer #4 · answered by thepeacelover01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh hell...you are married...so, it's surely ok to have sex! she, however, is not...and...not only should she not be having sex at all...but, there should not be a 3some!!! omg...and I know where this probably came from...the internet portrays that this behaviour is normal...and ok...but, it's not! not sure what you mean by you and your wife being "liberal" but besides the point...your daughter is not married...and there are risks like disease...pregnancy...shall I go on? Your wife needs to find out why she did the 3some...for her boyfriend? sighs...good luck, but, I would lock her up...and am now considering locking up our 13 year old daughter too lol!
2007-08-03 08:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The birds and the bees? Nope! I think she got that lesson elsewhere.
It sounds like she is experimenting. Let it go! Don't embarrass her any more then she probably is. A threesome may be "wrong" to you, but she thinks otherwise.
Let it go for now!
2007-08-03 07:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by C D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think she's just getting back at you consciously or unconsciously. you have to agree that catching our parents having sex is not the prettiest sites in the world and it just provoke a little anger in some children. (makes me puke even thinking about it). Being liberal is one thing and being a bad parent is another. its high time you start being a father to her. i think her mom should talk to her. Oh and please install some locks in the doors. you shouldn't have sex in the house with doors all open and your daughter should also keep some privacy. afterall, you want your family to be normal, right?? Good Luck.
2007-08-03 08:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure she is having safe sex, because it is too late for the bee talk. It seems she pretty much knows as much as you guys knows. She was learning when you guys were busy doing.
2007-08-03 07:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by BLUE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her, in a non judgemental kind of way- she's going to do whatever she wants.
I'm sure she already knows the birds and the bee's.
It's cool that you both are liberal about it though- but remind her about protection and diseases and try not to embarrass her more than she probably already is.
2007-08-03 08:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by lillian23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that's what you should be having...a conversation. Discuss it with her, it's way past the birds and bees stage. Just get into a friendly discussion, don't be judgmental.
2007-08-03 07:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋