Did you know that a commen misunderstanding for men of women is...?

Question

that women do not really want the bad boy...she wants the guy with confidence in himself (extremely sexy). This is often mistaken for arrogence ( a fine-lined difference). The jerks will score, but briefly and with drama. Ladies with knowledge of this find the confident factor in jerks to be attractive, not the jerk..

Both sexes need time and age to filter which is which, but I speak the truth.

Steve- In a way< I believe you are right. I cannot give a good rationg to your answer because it is so gross to me. We ladies DO get over this evetually. It is a hurtle for all women.

Answer 1

You are so right.

Its the immaturity that leads to guys thinking that if they play the bad boy they will get the girl.

In my school days I was one of those jerks. Being the bad boy always got me dates with the best lookin girls but ultimately it was me that was the loser. It took me years to shake the bad boy image and in later life I struggled to get a date because of it.

I have been with my partner for 12 years now... We have 3 beautiful children and my partner likes the fact that that I have the confidence to be myself and not create a false image to impress.

I am by no means goody goody and still make mistakes but I have also learned to apologise and make the efforts to not do them again.

Girls don't want to get hurt so ultimately the bad boys lose by getting dumped/

Answer 2

Rebel, I just have my own experience to answer this question. I like nice men, not bad men/jerks, but...I have observed something...

The nice guys don't play games, they show who they are, period. The bad guys play the game card, and there are many different kind of players and they DON'T show who they are (until much later, when you are already hooked).

Because of their seduction tactics, many women fall for the bad boy, until you have more experience and learn to recognize his tactics. But even if you fall for the jerk, even if he breaks your heart (as they always do), it is a relationship that is doomed from the beginning, because is not honest.
On the other hand, perhaps a nice guy will not be able to seduce one woman per day, but also he is not interested.
The nice guy, is interested in something else, a real friendship, real love, a real relationship. The nice guys is more secure, because he doesn't need the game, he doesn't need to "prove" he is a man, he has more confidence.

Being a jerk, is a sign of insecurity, a nice guy is who he is and shows it, this attitude shows more security.

In my experience, nice guys make wonderful relationships and if the relationship doesn't work at the long run, they will be your friends forever.
Jerks, arrive, seduce, disappear and break your heart. You hate them for a while, you heal and then you forget them forever. It is a waste of time and just a bad memory

Answer 3

Absolutely agreed. I'll add that the popularity of "Thug" imagery in popular culture has added to the misconception. The truth is that confident, strong, evolved women go after confident, strong but morally sound males. I've had a couple feminists girlfriends and I am not a bad boy. There's no way I could be an emotionally , culturally, and socially evolved male while playing the role of a neanderthal.

I've not known any real feminists to be attracted to dolts, barn-burners, convicts, or "Thugs". Only barbie bimbo types who are incomplete, and insecure fall for "Dillinger" types.

Answer 4

Good points. Might I add that the "fairy tale" setup also comes into play. The bad boy or jerk is the hard, closed-off persona. Too many women look for that, not because they want it, but because they want to break through the beast to find the prince inside.

They feel that if they break through the hard, jerk exterior, the river of emotion and passion on will only be for them. So the women still want the emotional and intelligent man, but they somehow think that if they cause the man to open up to passion, he will be for her alone.

But yes, eventually women do get it and go for the men they want and not the jerks they think they can change into the men they want.

Answer 5

There are different kinds of bad boys. Some bad boys are just unconventional, and get into some trouble because of this. They generally like to hang out with women of a similar sort. This kind of "badness" isn't directed against women; it's just an uncomfortable fit with the world. But some women who aren't particularly adventurous are fascinated with this sort of guy. They seem to live vicariously through him, as if to make up for all the times when they were tempted to act in a non-standard manner, but stifled it. Sometimes this fascination can itself be initially attractive to such a guy. Often, young women who are behaviorally conservative in normal life can release themselves with such a guy, and they can be very enthusiastic emotional and sex partners, more so than many dissipated or disaffected women of the ostensibly more "sophisticated" type. This sort of enthusiasm has a way of turning a guy's head, and affecting his better judgment.
___This sort of bad boy isn't a player. He's usually got other things on his mind; he has a life, even if it's not along the straight and narrow career path. Women aren't necessarily his primary interest.
___The good-girl/bad-boy relationship described above can blossom into something workable, if she can provide stability and grounding to him, and he can provide some interest and adventure for her. But it can turn out badly, too. He might be irresponsible, or impulsive, and she might be boring or so into vicarious living that she doesn't develop a life of her own, and gets clingy and dependent.
___It's not always the fault of the so-called bad boy.
___On an unrelated issue, I'm surprised to see a woman stereotyping women with sweeping generalizations about what women really want, without qualifying those generalizations. Some women, like some men, really do seek out relationships that turn out to be unwise choices. Many dysfunctional people, men and women, get into mutually abusive relationships. Apparently, they think that no one else will have them, and sometimes they're right.
___(This comes from experience working in the trenches of various mental health and social service settings.) Not all women want the same thing.

Answer 6

You're right. Most women above the age of, oh, 20 or so know the difference, too, and aren't looking for the bad boys, either.

Guys, it's _not_ nice to make the girl do everything, it's wimpy. You don't have to be a jerk, but make a d@mned decision every once in a while, and don't get all mopey if things aren't exactly your way. I swear, if you lot'd learn the difference between passive-aggressive and being really nice, the world would be much easier for me.

Answer 7

Some of these bad boys or married and some of the bad girls or married. Make sure your pick is somone single and does not lie.

Answer 8

I totally agree. Confidence is sexy. I hate sneering bad boys who think they have to treat a girl like crap to get a girl. The only kinds of girls they're gonna attract with that are girls with low-self-esteem, or psychos who might kill them in their sleep.

Answer 9

When guys on here ask why women say they want nice guys, but always go for the bad guys, my answer is always the same:

"Don't worry. As you get older, women will be looking for a nice guy like yourself, and you will have to take care of the bad guy's kids"

Answer 10

I'll drink to that. I have been attracted to mildly arrogant guys, but then again, I'm a mildly arrogant woman.