On regular basis goes and buys things we can't afford or even need and doesn't even tell me. We had an agreement at the beginning of our relationship that anything over $200 we need to ask each other, but he has NEVER done it. And he always buys stuff only for him, not for the family or things for the house. For example, just this week he decided he wants a boat and he is going to get it this weekend whether "I like it or not". He says " I don't care what you think. I am going to be out on MY boat and you can sit at home with the kids and watch TV". These kind of arguement are continuous. About three months ago we had $6500 set aside to put an addition onto our house and he has spent more than half of it on a new car stereo, gave $1000 to his sister and says he doesn't know what the rest of it went. I don't want to treated like this, I want to leave and file for divorce. The hard thing is he refuse to go to counceling. For me that a deal-braker. Should I leave him?
2007-08-02 19:16:39 · 12 answers · asked by muffin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
normally i'd say financial can be fixed but he is butt, you got to have communications and stick to your plan...it seems to one sided and he isn't leaving you much of a choice...his way or the high way....and I think the high way is looking better everyday.
2007-08-02 19:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave! He has some growing up to do and that could be years off still. Whose money is he spending???? If it is yours then I would keep seperate accounts and if it is his I wouls still keep money in seperate accounts to be sure he didnt blow through all of it on a whim. Sometimes age doesnt matter but in this case he is showing his age (I am 24 and do not act this way but alot of 24 yr olds do). Its not just about the money but also about the respect for you and your kids.
Good luck.
By the way- your $200 agreement is awful unless you are pulling in 6 digit incomes. $200 is alot of money to just decide to buy something an not discuss or at least inform your partner that you are going to spend that much. What if you or him spent $2000 in one weekend on 5 different items????? Its technically following the agreement.
2007-08-02 19:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't be financially responsible, yes, I'd file for a divorce if I were you ...or at the very least a legal separation to see if he will get his act together and get into counseling - marital AND financial.
Do it after he buys the boat tho, then request it in the divorce settlement, just to prove a point. (ok, so that was a slightly evil though on my part....)
2007-08-02 19:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you be responsive to each female is diverse and its tricky to declare all women persons this or all women human beings who. although, some ladies (fairly ladies without good practise or potential) concentration plenty on money. additionally, money is eye-catching because of the fact it represents a guy who's (normally) clever, in charge, employed and a number of of alternative different issues that we seem for in an prolonged term courting. If a guy does not have money we ask your self which of those features he lacks. ladies do no longer prefer to be with a guy is will no longer be able to artwork a funds, carry a job or is basically too dumb to get a job which will pay over minimum salary. remember those are generalizations. during the present financial gadget, there are a number of clever, in charge human beings on unemployment and this generalization does not follow to them. relating to divorce and unemployment - countless marriages do no longer stay to tell the story, although this is not any longer because of the fact ladies are grasping for money. Marriages are hard and while a coarse patch hits, the two events ought to artwork jointly to get with the aid of it. If the marriage isn't important first of all, there's a superb possibility that it will no longer stay to tell the story. additionally, while each and every person is unemployed, they are able to alter. they are able to get cranky, depressed, propose, and so on. If that frustration is concentrated on the companion, it ought to injury the marriage. If that frustration creates risky behaviors including intense eating, slumbering til midday, gazing sunlight hours television or putting with the boys rather of actively finding for suggestion on a thank you to herald money or help keep money - this could additionally injury the marriage. this is not any longer all black and white. this is not any longer "ladies basically prefer money". ladies prefer companions. we would like somebody that respects us and we appreciate. money could have some thing to do with it, even though it does not ought to. frequently, money is largely a ingredient ingredient of alternative issues.
2016-11-11 02:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and you should ask for all the money he spent ....if it was in a joint acct and he spent it without telling you, then you have the right to get it back.
See a lawyer...stay in the house. Change the bank accts so he has no access. Change the locks on the doors and get a restraining order.
He's a thief and a liar.
Dump him as fast as you can.
2007-08-02 19:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, otherwise you will suffer financially and worst, if any creditors are asking him for money, they will automatically look for his wife. This will be your financial downfall, because your credit can be ruined and you will have a hard time to get it back on track, because credit reports stays with you for seven years.
I would suggest for you to open a new checking and savings account that your husband can't touch, this way he would not be able to drained your financial standings.
2007-08-02 19:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is really, really selfish. he sounds like too much of a child to be married, to you or anyone. if i were you i would cut my losses now and get out. also make sure you keep careful tabs of everything he is buying, who he loaned money to, how much $$ each person brought into the marriage and put it in the divorce papers.
sorry you married an asshole. better luck next time. :(
2007-08-02 19:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by kallista 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him at once. The whole scenario is a deal breaker. You need to find someone who is a lot more responsible.
2007-08-02 19:20:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of red flags... it's definitely time for you to go... consult with a lawyer, too, so you can make intelligent decisions and moves to your divorce... and avoid costly and stupid ones, too... it's well worth the money to be prepared and to distance yourself from the emotional craziness that may blind or hinder your judgement as well
2007-08-02 19:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by ogg08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! He is walking all over you.
2007-08-02 19:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by Suzie Q 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋