My husband & I have been together for 6 years, married for 3. A year into our engagement he started showing some behaviors that conserned me. He was abrassive, rude toward me, my family, his friends and his family and had outbursts of anger at almost anything even the smallest situation would be a big issue for him. I thought it was just stress from planning the wedding but we've been married for 3 years now and it just keeps getting worse. I feel I have to walk on egg shells around him because I don't know what will make him tick that day. We use to have fun and be layed back now he's up tight and blaming me for it. We've been goig to counseling but his attitude has not changed. He says he wants to make this work but his actions are showing the opposite. HELP I'm at the end of my rope.
2007-08-02 18:59:46 · 14 answers · asked by jarosi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be honest with yourself. If his actions are showing the opposite, there's nothing more you can do. If it keeps getting worse, why are you still there? What are you waiting for, him to hit you? If you are walking on eggshells, you can never truly be yourself with this person. That's no way to live.
2007-08-02 19:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by eliene875 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been married for a little bit over a year now and I know exactly how you feel, feeling like I was the only person who felt like that. Everyone told me that the first year would be stressful and maybe problmatic, but after the one year anniversary it still really hasnt gotten any better. I think that if the counseling isnt working then there is more that needs to be done. I have come to the conclusion that, after our baby comes and he is still treating me the way that he does than I will get a divorce because I cant handle the stress myself. Plus I dont want my child growing up around all the hostility. I think that maybe you should take that into consideration as well. Because the longer that it last, the longer it is going to hurt you and hurting yourself isnt good at all. But whatever desision you make, good luck and God bless you. I know its hard to go through, but your decision will either make your life better or worse.
2007-08-03 02:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by beth t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T HAVE KIDS!
If this behavior has been getting progressively worse and you think it will continue, then leave the marriage. Or stay with him and tolerate it. But don't bring kids into an unstable environment. It may make him worse.
While you're at it, take a fair look at yourself and decide if you are constantly stirring the pot. Maybe you thrive on drama. Even so, if YOU can't change either, it still makes for a bad mix.
2007-08-03 02:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tangerine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being verbally abused and if counseling is not helping,
you need to get out of the relationship because he will not change. He's only going to please you.
I know from personal experience this will not get better.
This type of controlling and angry abusive man does not want
help. You didn't mention whether or not he has an alcohol problem; if so, that only exacerbates your problem.
I stayed far too long in this type of relationship WITH 2 KIDS
and regret it every day. Get out while you can.
2007-08-03 02:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by hippiegurl6222 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is, How safe and secure do you feel in his presence? If you have to walk on egg shells and he consistently demonstrates erratic behaviors and temperament, it tells me, he can become violent. There are alot of Red flags.
Speak to the counselor regarding other living arrangements. Don't wait till the last minute to make a decision. not TO SCARE YOU BUT THERE ARE ALOT OF VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHO ARE DECEASED OR INJURED BECAUSE DECISIONS WERE MADE TOO LATE.
GOOD LUCK
2007-08-03 02:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Freedom Rules!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are in counseling, you need to make a private appointment with the therapist for only yourself to discuss your concerns about his behavior & it's lack of change - the two of oyu can decide together what your next step should be.
2007-08-03 02:07:22 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years of marriage and counselling, it still persist.
Since you do not have any children, it is best to part ways and seek a new life with someone else. Why torture yourself further?
Good Luck
2007-08-03 02:14:37 · answer #7 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Start puttin away a little money on the side, if possible, so you'll have a little nest egg on the side. AND if he wants a family, tell him you wont until he changes his attitude.
2007-08-03 02:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by a girl unsure of the future 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My former wife developed the same symtoms, she was terribly unhappy!!! And so was everyone around us! So we got the big "D", and moved on!! At least you won't have to go through the divorce,custudy etc., save yourself quickly!!!! Kids lived with me, they have a college degree,family and a great life!
2007-08-03 02:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may be bipolar. Talk to a therapist on your own and get a consultation. They will advise you on how best to address the issue. Good luck girl. Blessed be.
2007-08-03 02:06:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋