How do you know if your ready to have kids?

Question

I'm 21 and my guy is 31. He has one child from his ex-wife. He says he still want's another child with me. I'm Not sure if I want any at all And if we do...when we do...is he still going to be active enough when he/she is young and stern enough when they are a teenager? should we get started now? or not have any?

Answer 1

This is why they offer couples counseling. Talk to him about it. If you aren't ready, don't have a child. I made that same mistake because he wanted kids, and don't think any other girl should make the same mistake...

Having a child is not something you can change your mind about so you need to be sure.

If you aren't married for a few years and stable with a job and own a house large enough for a child or two, I would put off having a child indefinitely....

BTW, men can father kids up until 40's. Enjoy your time together becuz it will change with just one more addition to the household...

Answer 2

If your not sure, then definently don't have one yet. I don't think there is ever a "perfect" time though. When you both decide it's a good thing then that is definitely a great start. And then you will deal with whatever comes, in your own way. Some people say it's better to have them while your young whereas others say it's better when your older. Naturally most people will say what they did is best. I was with my partner for 7 years and waited until I finished my apprenticeship before having a baby at 25. Being a mum is awesome, kids are the best! I think if you know you and your partner have a good relationship and have the same goals for the future, at some point you will broach the subject and you will both agree with the important things and it will feel right. Good luck!

Answer 3

hi there. i'm 22 & my partner is 32. he also had a child from a previous relationship who is 13. i too never wanted children or didn't think i was ready, within 4 months of us being together i fell pregnant. i was very scared & wasn't sure this was the right thing as i didn't know. the day i saw that little person at my first ultra sound i knew i was ready. you can't just have a child for the sake of making someone happy, you need to be ready & sure this is what you want. what if you decide to wait another year & discuss this with your partner. age is nothing to me i think it depends how active they are. if he keeps himself in shape he will be active enough & he may even be fitter than the child when they are a teenager.
just do what YOU feel comfortable with,

Answer 4

I know how you feel, I am 21 and my husband is 37! Wow huge age difference:D Plus he already has a seven year old son as well. But I was one of those people who always wanted to have a baby, and now I am 35 weeks prego. I dont think that it will affect how he is with the child, due to his age. My mother was 26 when she had me and my father was 44 or so and he was very active with me as a child, regardless of his age. But by all means, if you really dont want a child then I think that you should wait until you are ready. Good luck n God bless,

Answer 5

"your guy"? Are you even married?
First, you are still young and have some living to do before you saddle yourself with kids.

Second, he has a child from another marriage, and no matter how much you and that child may love one another, there are lots of problems with divorces, remarriages and first-child reactions that no one talks about. Maybe you should consider that.

I'd advise you to give it a few more years and see how you feel about it then. He will not be too old, even nearing 40.

Answer 6

Are YOU ready - psychologically, emotionally, and physically? Is your marriage relationship going well? Are you financially able to provide for the child - including college or university? Can "daddy" put quality time daily, into the child, as well as, his own from the previous marriage? Can you both, provide emotional stability for the baby and one another ?
ALL these things considered - YOU will have the final say.

Answer 7

Do not have children until you are sure that you are ready. It takes plenty of time dedication, love, and sacrifice to be a good parent. If you feel you are not ready, you are definitely not!! Don't let him push you into something that will make you miserable, especially if you are not married. That makes it too esy for him to walk away and leave you taking care of a child by yourself. That is the hardes thing in the world to do. I should know, I raised two by myself due to irresponsible men.

Answer 8

Just say no to kids ok?

First youre only 21...so are you ready to loose your good looks by getting big with a baby?

Second..how much do the two of you really have in common...I mean c'mon now you have a whole decade seperating the two of you. Are you sure this arrangement will last?

Answer 9

You MIGHT be ready when you BOTH want one, and you're CERTAIN about it.

Neither partner should force a child on the other. If you aren't absolutely certain you want one with all your soul, then don't have it, 'cause you can't take it back to the store.....

Besides it's not that he's too old, it's more like YOU are awfully young to start with kids. Also... is your "guy" your husband??

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Is he a good father to the child he has now? Look into that. Also, how strong is your relationship with him? Do the 2 of you c yourselves being together forever....seriously? If so, then go for it. There are single mothers out there that do just fine, if your guy is going to b there, then you have that much more of an advantage. Good luck!