On a scale of 1-100 can you rate this poem I wrote a while back? Please criticize if possible.?

Question

Thankful For You
Not alot in my life goes right at all
but your always there to catch me whenever I fall
you make me happy whenever I'm blue
this is why I'm thankful for you

I'm far from perfect
but you don't care
I've made far too many mistakes
but your still here
Why your still with me I have no clue
this is why I'm thankful for you

Whenever push came to shove
You were always there to give me a kiss and a hug
guys like you theres only a few
This is why I'm thankful for you.

Answer 1

sounds good... i give it a 80 only cuz it sounds young at the same time.. u kno what i mean?

Answer 2

It sounds like you pushed yourself to write this piece... I find poetry easiest when written through emotions. Some lines are short then others are long. A poem says a line, a good poem has more than one, a great poem paints a story. Try not to reiterate some words so much such as clue at the end. Oh yea by using the first line and title to end the poem was creative. Its actually a professional poetry style. 85/100. It'd be better if you pour your emotions into it more.

Answer 3

Whenever push came to shove
You were always there to give me a kiss and a hug
guys like you theres only a few
This is why I'm thankful for you.

That second line kinda ran on.. "You always gave a kiss and hug" would fit better. Just my opinion.
Overall, its a great poem. I would say... in the 90's.

Answer 4

Love it. Well-written, but needs some polishing up and pay attention to punctuation. Don"t shy away from re-writes. The most seasoned authors have to do many to get their work publishable. The work will improve with every re-write.

"I am the wisest man in the world, for the one thing I know is that I know nothing." ~~Socrates~~

Good luck and keep writing.

Answer 5

do you be conscious of what's worth battling for whilst it is not worth loss of life for? Does it take you breath away and you sense your self suffocating? Does the soreness weight out the satisfaction? and you seem for a place to hide? Does somebody destroy your heart interior? you're in ruins One, 21 weapons Lay down your palms supply up the combat One, 21 weapons Throw up your palms into the sky You and that i...

Answer 6

try to stay away from feelings. In this case focus on his ACTIONS - and what he did. Pick out one particular event and describe that event.

I am not trying to be mean - but I think you need to view it like this

writing for therapy - pouring out your feelings - like you are doing here. you keep those to yourself and don't make them public
the romance stuff fits in here too.

writing poetry - is like taking a snapshot - like a photo but using words.

if you can do that you will start writing good poetry.

I write both. but I keep my therapy writing to myself.


I think your concepts are ok, but it's too wordy. It's not a poem. IT's just writing your feelings.

Answer 7

sorry, this is a definate 13 / 100

pick another subject