Why won't my husband have sex with me anymore?

Question

I am 31 yrs old and have been married less than a year. Since i've been married I have become more fit and have lost 20 lbs. My husband on the other hand has become more lazy and has gained a little weight. Not enough that it would effect me wanting him sexually. I have found that he tends to reject me more when initiating intimacy. I don't understand!!! I hve asked him why he doesn't want to have sex, and all he can tell me is that he is tired or he has a headache. Wait a minute!! Did I just wake up in another life? I am not unattractive by far. I feel more confident in my appearance. He says that I complain about my stomach and how I need to lose it. He says that makes him skeptical of groping me or looking at me. I have tried to lessen those comments. I have tried to encourage him to exercise and eat better but he refuses. He used to body build alot and I tried to encourage that. Walking in front of the tv naked isn't working either. Somethin's gotta give!! Help Yahoo!!

Answer 1

I don't think by commenting on his weight will make him loss the desire of having sex with you. There could be some other reasons that he refuse to reveal to you.

To some extend, man are a bit cheap, sex that they can easily get, normally don't arose their desire. That's the reason why men like to look at other wife or girlfriend.

Answer 2

Turn the tables around and pretend he is you. He must feel unattractive and it is not helping that you are suggesting that he join you in your excercise routine. That right there in his own little mind makes him feel like he is the one that is ugly. I am in a relationship like that right now and let me tell you I have never felt so unnattrictive before in my life till now. I know you mean well but remember that people have better sex when they are confident of themselves.SO BE QUIET AND EXCERSICE WHEN HE IS NOT THERE. Do not tell him that your not satisfied with your looks ever!!!! So he doesnt think you throwing a indirect comment. Complain about your looks with your gilfriends thats what their there for. Take care I wish you the best. P.S. grope him like he is the last man on earth he will come around.

Answer 3

you need to watch him closely. does he have a cell phone? and if so, does it ever ring when you are with him? does he step outside to make phone calls? get itemized billing on his cell. one call to the company will get it done. dont tell him you are going to do this. I am afraid you may have an unfaithful man on your hands. I hate to say that, but usually the wife is the one with the headache because she really is tired of having sex all the time. One year of marriage and he is already rejecting you? I hate to say this also, but that situation will probably only worsen if you dont find some way of figuring out what is going on. If he won't tell you (and what he has told you sounds like BS to me) you need to investigate into this on your own.

Answer 4

set up a hott little date. No tv no distractions. Have a finger food dessert tray of like strawberrys and other yummy foods and go out and buy a hott little nighty. pick red red is always sexy. Set up a little area with candles and music(all that stuff) Then when he comes home blindfold him and lead him into the little area you have prepared. feed him a strawberry and tease him sexually. If that doesnt work you two need to talk bad.

Answer 5

sometimes when a person feels unattractive about their own bodies then they don't want to have sex. maybe he is feeling a little self conscious because you are getting in shape while he has gone in the other direction?


also, every marriage goes through this. for awhile you might be in a sexual drought and then he might. it is pretty normal....i know this because Dr. Phil told me so! -lol-

make sure he knows you find him attractive and make sure all his other needs are being met....emotional, mental, spiritual, ect. (that was Dr. Phil too)

Answer 6

I agree Acceptance will play a great part between your relationship. One another must express your full thoughts and keep in mind change does happen no matter the cause.

Answer 7

there are few probabilities ...... he got someone else to satisfy him or he is heavily pre-occupied with something that make him lose interest in having sex with you (emotionally or psychological) .... or he find you no longer sexually interesting anymore (very dangerous) or worst of all, if the relationship between you and him are extremely sexually base.... this type of relationship will always be short lived...
If you can, find out who he confide with mostly and seek their help.....i dont think you two will be able to talk it

Answer 8

sounds like you nagged to much and made to many comments not that they were bad comments but people don't handle that very well just like i have made such a big deal for so long that there isn't enough sex to my wife she is turned off so would you like to chat about this more seems we have similar situation.

Answer 9

If your bothering him about his weight he may feel insecure, and especially with you loosing weight. So try, and not say anything his weight ever again, then the truth will show it's face.

Answer 10

i think their something more than just his stomach. some else is bothering. him you need to find out, because my husband didnt sleep with me at all either and it has been almost two months already. i confronted him and he told me that i havent changed like i promised him to and what made things worse was that we were staying at my friends house too.