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Hey guyz! Ok so i only want serious answers to this. I have been dating a guy for almost 4 years now and im still young so we havn't goten married or anything but I am kinda at a road block. We wants to move in and get a house together but it's right next door to his parents...that's a prob all in it's self but besides that our relationship is really starting to suffer because he is going on his fourth job. I kno for afact he actully does have those jobs and he is not cheating. Well it just sucks cuz we both work until 4 or 430 and he gets home and goes to his other job....it just depends on the day and I don't even look foreward to fridays anymore cuz he works at a bank then he gets home and has to go set up to be a dj then he don't get home till 3am then he gets up at 7am to work at the back again then he has another wedding to dj after that! Then on sundays he will go to his parents to help them!! I understand he has to make money but come on! i am lonely.

2007-08-02 17:29:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

16 answers

Your problem is one that many ENVY, true you suffer from him not being there enough, but to be honest, if he isn't cheating and is already buying a home then I would cut him some slack. You can do a number of things..ditch him and hope you find another man who has a better job/education and doesn't have to work long hours, ask him to cut back on his hours and lower your expectations or STOP complaining, improve yourself and get a better job thereby alleviating the need for him to work so much. Life isn't easy and most don't get things handed to them, they succeed through hard work and NOTHING else......you need to ask yourself WHAT do you want out of life and this relationship and what are you prepared to do and sacrifice in order to achieve it.

2007-08-02 17:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by canuck1950 6 · 0 0

He needs to be careful cuz I c more and more marriages/ relationships end because of this. Try to accompany him when he has the wedding jobs or when he is going to his parents house. It might be a pain but at least u can spend SOME time together... He is working like this in order to better provide for the both of u but he is neglecting u in the process. (Its a man thing.) Make sure u communicate your true feelings to him. Don't keep it inside because u will begin to resent him (if u haven't already).

Get creative in regards to spending time together. Let him know that u support what he is trying to do and that u are into what he does. Maybe that will open his eyes and make him realize what he has and he will appreciate u more.... Tell him how u feel and keep the lines of communication open. It almost always pays off in the long run.

Besides, THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT TO BE ALONE!!! HE MUST KNOW THIS. It totally defeats the purpose. And as far as the whole thing with the in-laws; don't stress about that. Make the best of it. Let them (your in-laws) know your boundaries. Make your husband clear on it too. If that is not possible or if you ALL cannont agree on your boundaries, then maybe you need to look into another neighborhood. Tell your boo that it simply isn't worth jepordizing your relationship with each other. I wish u both the best.

2007-08-02 17:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Momma 2 · 0 0

Ok Ashlea. Have u told him that u r lonely @ home.
It wud b better to talk with him @ Tea. Tell him sincerely that u love him & he cannot just run behind money like this.
Ask him to look out for a job that will give him a decent salary n proper working hours.
Tell him that it is not possible to settle down if things go this way.
You cud even talk to his parents. They can also provide u support whenever u r lonely.
I believe that if this does not work even after all this threaten him that u will break away.
If he still does not make up his mind LEAVE him.
He loves money not U.
Pray well. Njoy!

2007-08-02 17:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by Aryan 1 · 0 0

Wow! So you had a complex situation with your husband and instead of working it out first you added a child to equation. You're going to give yourself a brain aneurysm. I think that if I were in your shoes, that I would try to fall back on friends (since you don't have family). You also mentioned that you're a Christian, so that's another support network. A baby needs a Dad (and Mom), but perhaps it doesn't have to be your current "hubby". There may be a single father with a daughter that's looking for a complete family.

2016-05-17 04:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by lyndsay 3 · 0 0

When you are starting out on your own you have to work a lot just to make it. And if you really love him, and plan to be with him, moving in with him might not be a bad idea, you will be able to see him more often. The only thing I would have a problem with is moving in right next door to his parents. I don't even want to live that close to my own parents, especially not his. But if you get along with them, it might not be a big deal. You should express all of your concerns to your boyfriend. It sounds like he is so busy he might not even realize that you are feeling a little neglected. Good luck!

2007-08-02 18:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by Stark 6 · 0 0

Well if he has financial issues that cause him to work 3 jobs then maybe he needs to stay with his mom and dad until he gets money in order. If he goes through with living with you then you might as well be living by yourself in return is going to cause further issues for the two of you. Salvage the relationship now and just take it slow. if he truley loves you then he will understand. don't make the same mistake as i did. getting married and then realizing your husband has 30000 dollars in cc debt is disheartening. Just talk to him and let him know what your concerns are with the current situation. Maybe you could go along with him to his dj jobs and just make it fun. You may learn something new and him as well. the car makes a great place for spontaneous encounters. Living beside the parents is definitely a BAD idea. Mothers are nosey especially if he is an only child. You might as well be living with them.

2007-08-02 18:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by amithidius 2 · 0 0

Maybe he is working 4 jobs to try to show he can provide for you. You should both sit down and talk out the situation.

I would NOT get a house next to his or your parents. Maybe not even in the same neighborhood.

Have you ever thought about helping him at his DJ gigs? Have you thought about helping out at his parents? (Maybe he can cut down these visits to every other week and at least have some "quality" time with you.)

Relationships are all about compromise. If you don't talk to him about it now, it will only get worse.

2007-08-02 17:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by J L 1 · 0 0

Ya'll need to talk about the work thing. But be thankful he does work, some men don't. Living next to your future in-laws may be a HUGE mistake...sounds like a mama's boy. The fifteen minutes a day you get with him already will be handed over to his mom and all you will be doing is his laundry!

2007-08-02 17:39:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

just give him a choice (and mean it)... it's either you or he can keep all of these jobs... you have a life too and it's too much for a girl to handle.. you deserve to have a man that is around... if he chooses his jobs then move on... he'll probably find some girl that likes money but doesn't care about him and things will be great for them... but you need more (like most girls do) and you have to stand up for yourself... do it for all the girls!!
good luck and God bless!

2007-08-02 17:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by danii 4 · 0 0

Men tend to be workaholics, at least in my experience. It's all about finding a balance. If he wants to keep the good things in his life, you for instance, he needs to put forth some effort. I suggest you have a talk with him. Time to figure out and reorganize priorities before it's too late.

2007-08-02 17:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by Keepin_it_Real 3 · 2 0

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