Why would a father hate his Son?

Question

Hi everyone! It’s me John.

Consider yourself fortunate when you have an affectionate father, for I never had a great father, and today ( Tonight) I’ll introduce you to the father I was given.

For a significant reason my father has this hate for me. Of course it may not seems fair to you, but whatever his reason is, it seems logical to him. Yes, he hates me because I happened to be a handicap.

He treated me as if I was retarded. He would copy the way I walk in order to tease me. He would laugh at me whenever I fall on the ground. Most interestingly, he would not take me out with him, for he felt too embarrass of me. He told my mother that it was her fault why I was born as a handicap. So my mother decided to have one more child for him. Fortunately, my sister was born healthy.

These were the things I had to deal with

1 I watched my father plays with my sister. He said he didn’t want to play with me because he was scared of breaking my bones.

2 My sister was always on the road with my dad. My father said he didn’t want to take me out with him because I could not manage the hassle.

3 My sister always gets gifts from dad. My father said I am very choosy, so he didn’t know what I would like.

4 My sister always gets pocket money from dad. My father said he knows that I get pocket money from my mother all the time, and that I should not make a deal out of him giving money to my sister.

5 My father constantly talks about my sister. He said the reason he didn’t talk much about me was because I am always hanging out with other people while my sister was always hanging out with him.

Anyway, there was once this night where I was very thirsty and needed something to drink. We were on the road. The only reason my father took me with him was because my mother ran away and left him. She secretly ran away to the United States. Although Mom was gone, that didn’t mean she left her two children. She was working on papers to have us migrated to the United States legally.

So I asked my father for something to drink. He said I should wait until we go home because he didn’t have any money on him... About 10 minutes later my sister asked him for something to drink, which he then bought her a Soda!!! I saw what happened, and of course I cried, especially since I was in my teens. I was smart enough to know how cruel my father was to me.

3 months later after Mom has ran away, she got us to the United States, and then she discovered a new life for us. God Bless America.

What do you have to say about my Dad?

I’ll write about my mother nest time for you all to know who she is.

Thank you.

John.

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you John. I had a step father that hated me because of my race, and I understand how it feels to be hated for something that you have no control over. Essentially, we are who we are, and what's more, is you should be amazingly proud of who you are, no matter what package you come in! Never let anyone make you feel less than what you are. And John, my friend, you are magnificently significant!
Now that you are in America with your mother, perhaps many things will change for you. I cannot understand, and there really isn't too much I can say that would help you understand why your father treated you the way he did. Perhaps he had some preexisting idea of how you should be, or what you should be involved in before you were born. He might have foolishly decided that since you weren't up to his expectations, that you weren't someone he could be proud of. Any parent that would think so little of their child is outrageously ridiculous in their thinking. And believe me, my opinion of your father is not a very good one. What's more, in time, perhaps when you are an adult, you might think try to find out how your father's father treated him. After all, your father had to have learned this behavior from someone. A parent, a grandparent, or another relative or friend. That would be up to you. And should you choose not to concern yourself, I support that notion as well.
At any rate, you should make it a point to remind yourself that you are an inspiration. And sometimes, we have to be our own inspiration to find peace with ourselves and our abilities. You will face many people in the world that will judge you for petty reasons. My best advice? Don't listen to such ignorance!
Always be you, always be proud to be you, and take on any challenge with a mind that is truly secure in success. One person's hurtful words, or opinions of you will never define who you are. Remember that!!
With that, John...I wish you the best, and many happy years to come!

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Hello john, You know what, I have a brother that is going through the same situation as you are. Except, my father is an alcoholic and he's veryyyy addicted. He can't live without it for just one day. He always teases my brother for being too stupid or being to non-manly. My brother suffered from acne, and my dad would put him down and stuff. He doens't like my brother either and that hurts the family and me too of course. I'm the sister and my brother always wonders why my dad likes me more than him. But all I have to say is that your dad is a careless person and he doesn't seem to be very nice. You don't have to take it seriously. At least you have your caring mother and your sister. That's all you should care about. I don't really think your issue of being handicap matters, it's just that he doesn't like you and sorry to say, there is nothing you can really do or change. you just have to live this way... and whatever you can do, ignore him and don't talk to him. Be nice to him and stilll have respect, but just don't talk to him. Good luck and I hope i helped. God bless<3

Answer 3

I know it feels like your dad hates you but I think that its himself that he hates. On some level he blames himself for the way that you were born and since he can't fix it he has a very hard time dealing with it. There are a lot of men who want to fix what ever is wrong be it a mechanical problem or a physical one and when they can't fix the situation they don' know how to deal with it and so they lash out. I'm sorry that the person that your father lashes out against is you. I wish that I could say that he'll change and be able to show you how much he loves you but I'm not sure that will happen and I don't' want to get your hopes up. I sort of know what you're dealing with because my daughter hasn't seen or heard from her father in seven years because her father does not know how to deal with the fact that she has learning disabilities. I hope and pray that now you're here things will get better. Try and make friends that care about you and make a good life for yourself that would be the best way of of showing your father that despite your disability you'll have a life that your father couldn't imagine.

Answer 4

I agree with you totally, you father is a complete jerk plus he does not have any brains. But I admire you and I am glad that you mom has the balls that he doesn't have... and the intelligence to do what she did. I am very happy for you, USA is very nice, they'll treat you with respect.
But you know what? don't think about him, just forgive him and don't let him hurt your feelings anymore, I am not a religious person, but the Boss upstair will take care of him, don't worry.... remember some words from the Boss: the stupidity won't be any more.....I believe your Dad is on top of that list. I hope he could read this.
Don't worry, life will be good to you, kiddo. We love you, man!

Answer 5

good luck to you and your mom john.i am sorry your dad is such a selfish jerk.i know how you feel and i do not know why some men are like this.my ex husband i know loves our children but he is a awful father he is selfish,mean and never does anything for anyone but himself or other people he is trying to impress.for example yesterday was our youngest sons birthday.i called him to wish him a happy birthday and so did my oldest daughter from my home.i sent a card a week ago and gave him his gift in may when he was home for a visit.he told me not to remind his dad about his birthday because he wanted to see if he would remember it by himself because last year even though i reminded him and so did our other 4 kids he never called or remembered his birthday! my son said if he forgets this year he is going to tell him off! but he said dad is selfish and only thinks of himself.that is true.i did not remind him or call but i hope for my sons sake that hid dad did call and say happy birthday but i doubt he did.just remember you are not your dad you are better than that.you will be happy good luck.

Answer 6

Hey John,
I'm sorry your dad treated you the way he did, no parent should have a Favorite child, but I know for a fact many families do....
There were ten kids in my family and some were favored and others were not...For me personally, I grew up with medical problems as well and it does effect ones feelings...Many times I never felt I was good enough for anythingor for anyone...To make matters worse my identical twin was treated by my mother like she was so much better....So when I finally found the man of my dreams and we married and had children I made certain that the Love I gave to Both of my kids was even....
John, I must say men really want that son to take to the baseball games, to golf with, to do things with and perhaps he was intimidated by your condition?
I know it's no real excuse, but men really want that child that can carry the name sake..
My husband was Thrilled when our first child was a Boy, he cried for joy as did I....
But we have an Awesome God and four years later I was given a daughter....It hasn't been very fair to her as I really don't have the luxuary to go out with my daughter like many mothers do without getting sicker, but I am Overjoyed that I have her to talk with.
Your dad has made a Major Mistake, but try to forgive him, mine is no longer alive, but before he died he knew how much I loved him, and he made certain to let me know how much he loved me too.....
A HUG is pretty powerful stuff.,maybe your dad can give you one sometime......God Bless You Always.....

Answer 7

I believe that your father is ANGRY AT HIMSELF for your handicap. HARD TO BELIEVE BUT TRUE. It's hard to be a parent, especially one of an handicap person but it doesn't give him the right to treat you the way he does. From what I have read, YOU ARE HIS ONLY SON. A son that happens to be handicap, but a son at best. Just remember that you are a wonderful person, handicap or not. And that your father may only be treating you this way because he may feel responsible for your disability.

Answer 8

Hi John,
Welcome to America!

Answer 9

I luv the answers by Winnie and Mona Lisa. So just hang in there. Don't let him get to you.

Answer 10

Some questions can't be answered. The best that anyone who has had a crappy childhood can do is not to let it limit them. Good luck.