Did your spouse that left you, take unneccessary "jabs" at you after leaving?

Question

My wife left me out of the blue, which is killing me.

I am not saying anything bad about her, she was my ideal woman, and I thought everything was going great.

Since she's left she sends me emails taking "jabs" at me... I have a good job, but she says things like " guys like you will always have to work for someone else, and will never be independant".

It hurts because I've worked my way up into a supervisor position, make a good salary, am a home owner, own two cars, two dogs, have six weeks a year vacation, AND great hours ( Mon-Fri 8:30- 5:30) and all the holidays off.

I tell friends and family that tell me "you'll find someone better" that she was the perfect girl, and have never said a bad thing about her. Why does she treat me like this...it's like kicking a dying dog or something.

for those saying "move on" we have to remain in touch for the time being...we are still in the divorce process. when this is over I'll block her emails.

Answer 1

She is doing this out of her own anger issues and wants you to be as miserable as she is. I realize that words cut like a two edged sword but don't play her game. She left you and that's what she wanted and hasn't moved on the way she thought she would. Some people will stay connected even if it is out of bitterness. I would not respond to her anger in anyway because she wants to hurt you and if she knows by doing that it works she will continue to do it. She can't argue with a stop sign and you will be the better person in controlling your own hurt feelings and anger over everything. She sounds guilty about something stating that guy's like you will always have to work for someone else, and will never be independent. Maybe she has found a guy like that because why would she make that comment to you? Leave her be and if she calls you and starts putting you down say this to her....... I will talk with you and be respectfull but if you continue to speak with me in an inappropriate manner this phone conversation has ended. No matter what happened between you both her attitude is unnecessary. You could also tell her that she needs to let that anger go before it eats her up inside....suggest that she could talk with a counselor about things and you would to because you don't want to fight anymore ....you just need it to end peacfully so she can move on in her life and so you can do the same. Kill her with kindness and give herself something to think about if it matters? Best wishes and take care of yourself.

Answer 2

Pal, I felt for you- right up to the end. You let her send nasty emails cuz you are still going through the divorce???? Come on. Ya want to torture yourself reading her little digs- fine. But unless you are an attorney handling your own divorce; there is ZERO reason for you two to ever speak again, and even less reason for her to be emailing you. Most of us have a neat invention called a telephone. People use it to communicate. You simply dial a combination of numbers, and you can speak to them. You want to play computer silliness with your wife, fine. But, don't bother blaming the divorce- you read them cuz you WANT to read them. As for why? she does it, that's obvious. She wants to hurt you, and she is succeeding. Eventually she will tire of this game and quit. Or, you can see a surgeon, get a backbone implant, and quit being a whinny pathetic wimp. Unless of course, you like having people think you are pathetic.

Answer 3

Yes my x husband left me with two little children, no job ect.. and the first two years he did everything he could possibly do to me to be spiteful and he's the one that cheated and left..

I think sometimes people have to do mean things to others to make them feel better about themselves, or to keep from feeling guilty about their own actions.. let her take all the jabs she wants be the bigger person.. i always liked knowing i could look at myself in the mirror every day with out any regret.

Answer 4

Don't listen to her. She sounds like a mean, spiteful person. She should just leave you alone to heal the pain she caused you. I really hope you can realize that you are better off without her and deserve better. Pray, go to church it will help you through this difficult time. Help yourself, stop reading her e-mails, don't take her calls. Be proud of the fact that you are not a mean-spirited person and don't get pleasure from hurting other people. You're in my prayers.

Answer 5

When someone is feeling bad about themselves, they have two ways of dealing with people - they either grow huge egos to make them feel superior - or they do what your wife is doing, cut people down to bring them to seem like they are on that same lower level.

She is feeling bad about what she has done, and her way of dealing with it, is by not looking at her wrong doing, but rather trying to make you out to be worse than you are - to justify her actions.

I'm sure your job is suited for you - and you excel at it - don't let her comments get to you - pity her instead, she has some issues she needs help with, hopefully someday she will figure that out.

Answer 6

You need to more on and stop answering her emails--she doesnt sound like the perfect girl if she is that mean--you are too nice about her. Your friends are right, you will (and should)find someone better---she just took advantage of a real nice guy. Move on.

Answer 7

this is greater handy for her to "justify" her leaving you if the two certainly one of you're "struggling with". she will sense better approximately herself and what she has carried out while you're calling her names and being propose to her. Twisted i be responsive to, yet it particularly is the way the human ideas is under pressure out at circumstances. she would have the capacity to proceed this act, or perhaps up the rigidity till she the two gets the wanted reaction or discovers you're unlikely to play. Then she would have the capacity to the two exchange tack and attempt a sparkling approach or make a play to get returned jointly returned. till you're keen to do countless artwork and counseling i could propose heading off the re-run and basically get a superb legal expert amd pass on and heal. basically my 2 cents worth ideas you.

Answer 8

still does.if you call moving 3 houses down from me and the home we shared after 24 years of marriage and shacking up with the whore he left me and the kids for you would be right! i was the bigger person because for one thing i still loved him but we had 5 kids together so i would not allow her to keep me and my husband from being the best parents we could be.after all these are our children and they have nothing to do with her.she hated it though and its like the old saying kill them with kindness.guilty people hate it when you are nice to them cause they know they are not worthy!you will find love again and you will be happy,knowing this will make her angry but she is the one who left.her loss her fault.good luck.

Answer 9

Don't let her get to you. Next time she sends something like that, tell her that her little jabs are only making her look like the idiot and that she can keep them to herself. You know your successes and failures and since she's the one who walked out on you, don't care what she thinks. She sounds like a bit of a *****.

Answer 10

plan & simple she doesn't want 2 admit she did things wrong its easier 2 hurt & blame u then herself , good luck babe im going through a divorce 2 it is living hell... the sayin is true u dont know a person untill u divorce them