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He already knows, but only 'cause he caught me in a lie. I felt bad about lying to him and wanted to tell him but didn't know how. I love him with all my heart and truly feel that it would never happen again. He's hurting very badly and I have lost all of his trust. Can anyone PLEASE give me some suggestions to try to make it up to him?! He is my world and I don't want to lose him! :(

2007-08-02 16:42:29 · 40 answers · asked by Chassady 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

40 answers

People are human and we do make mistakes. I think you should shift your focus on forgiveness and not trying to make up for your mistake. Really no matter what you do you can't actually make up for your mistake. You need to talk to him and ask him to forgive you. When he does then the healing will begin. It will take time to rebuild the trust and it most likely will not be fully restored. But you two can work through that. It will be very hard and counseling is probably a good idea. You might want to examine what caused you to cheat so you can resolve those issues. Botton line if he can't forgive you then you may have to live with the consequences of your actions. Marriage is hard but the trials you go through do make it strong. I know the trials I have faced in my marriage of 19 years is what made it strong. I pray everything will work out for you.

2007-08-02 17:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by tab 2 · 0 1

You say this is the SECOND time. Does that mean you've been caught twice, only cheated twice, or this is just the second lover you've be caught with? Didn't you already do the "So sorry" "Don't know how I could ever have been so stupid" "It'll never happen again""I love you, and am begging for the chance to prove my love." Thing already? You must be pretty good at it, cuz it worked the first time. This time, perhaps you are actually going to have to quit screwing other guys, or hubby will have a difficult time believing your routine again. Unless it was your minister you were screwing, try getting hubby to try counseling through your church. I've got to say though, that eventually hubby might get to the point where he won't buy the "so sorry" thing. So, you'd better get more tips on how to cheat without getting your stories and explanations screwed up enough to get caught. After 4-10 times, some judgmental spouses lose faith in even a sincerely regretful cheater like you.

2007-08-02 17:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

lol.. funny, u dont want to lose him yet you cheated on him twice.. first.. grow the hell up.. and realize what love is.. because u have no clue, if u really loved him u wouldnt of broken his heart like this.. so dont say u love him cause u dont.. he's ur security blanket, and thats not love.. The best thing u can do for him is to leave him.. because he deserves someone that is really going to love him and not make him feel like an idiot, and break his heart repeatedly.. u say it wont happen again, but b.s. its already happened twice so u learned nothing the first time around. and it will only take a new guy to sweep u off ur feet for it to happen a 3rd time.. You say u love him , if u truely loved him, u'd let him go.. but ur just wanting him to hang on to a woman that has broken marriage vows over and over again.. ur an idiot, and ur husband is an idiot if he keeps putting up with this.. 1 time is a mistake, but bad enough.. 2 or more just proves ur a ***** ..

2007-08-02 16:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0 0

Honestly, the best thing you can do for your husband would be to leave him. Give him the chance to find someone out there who will love him and won't lie to him or cheat on him. No amount of anything you could possibly do will erase what you did, so therefore there's no "making it up" to him. You say you love him with all your heart. That's a small heart. If he truly was your world, you wouldn't have flown off into outer space.

2007-08-02 16:52:41 · answer #4 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0 0

The best favor you could do to him is to leave him alone, let him find someone who would really love him and would care for his feelings, Honey....you probably care for him but you are Not in love with him anymore otherwise you wouldn't be cheating on him, when you love someone you do everything to make him happy and in the bad times you stick right next to him...you don't jump out of the boat and seek someone else who would make you feel better.
I don't think a simple "I'm sorry, I will never do it again" will work, you have thrown his "trust,self esteem, and confidence" right into the trashcan! Let him find the happiness somewhere else ...AWAY FROM YOU!

2007-08-02 17:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by fun 6 · 0 0

Give me a break...YOU are NOT the victim here, and the simple fact is you cheated not once, but twice. Put the poor man out of his pain and let him be with someone who is not a cheating b****. There is NEVER a good reason to hurt someone you "love" so much. If he's your world then you should have thought about that BEFORE you slept around.

2007-08-02 19:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Go to marriage counseling and find out why you are doing this?You will need the guidance of a professional to help you and your husband if he wants to work on the marriage and wants to believe in you. He will need to understand and know what preventative measures you will take to keep from cheating on him? He may have found a way to deal with it the first time it happened but this being the second time he may not have it in him this time. You may need to prepare yourself for that? Only you really know him and what he may do. I would try to communicate with him and ask him if he would consider therapy with you or at least try. Take care and good luck to you.

2007-08-02 17:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If he was your world and you didn't want to lose him and you love him with all your heart then why did you cheat. You not only cheated once but twice. If he forgave you the first time don't count on him doing it again. He wont want to be your fool. You probably told him the first time it happened it will never happen again but you did it again. There are consequences for everything and you have to phase yours because you did it to yourself.

2007-08-03 00:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by MZ. Latina 3 · 0 0

How can you say it was a mistake the 2nd time around? You can't make that up to him...if he truly is your world then you should have learned from the first mistake. If he was smart he would run from you. But if he is not, you need help....find out what is wrong with you as to why you keep making mistakes.

2007-08-02 16:47:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

i myself do no longer comprehend what to declare, different than to notice you're no longer being honest, even in the style you ask this question. that's a lie once you're saying you will desire to no longer stand up to having intercourse with that guy. the certainty is which you intentionally concealed the certainty which you have been married, so as to sleep with that "warm" guy, particularly in case you will bumped off your wedding ceremony ring. It wasn't in basic terms a non everlasting impulse. You had to cheat, so which you cheated. It wasn't basically your husband you betrayed. you apart from would betrayed your self, your infants, and your marriage itself. it is likewise a lie once you point out the possibility you're able to admit on your husband. you're saying you don' t opt for your marriage to interrupt up, and you do no longer opt for to stand the end results of your strikes. it is likewise a misinform say you're repenting. Repentance demands confession. you have no aim of confessing, yet say repenting by using fact it makes you experience you have genuine ethical experience sorry approximately. I assume you will keep your little fling a secret, and permit your husband have self belief you're his, and his on my own. which will make something of your lives mutually a lie. i somewhat experience sorry for all in touch, yet in general for you. never back will you look in a replicate, devoid of seeing a deceitful, mendacity imposter. every time your husband hugs you, or tells you he loves you, you will comprehend you do no longer deserve his love. i'm somewhat sorry i can not be supportive, yet that's no longer some minor element. that's a uncomplicated betrayal of what your relationship is. One final lie is your assertion that this replaced right into a mistake. Spilling your espresso is a mistake, mising a turn making use of is a mistake. assembly a "warm" guy, and going to mattress with him isn't a mistake.

2016-10-01 07:25:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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