Broken wings sing to me,
As I fall into the unchanging sky,
Stars are surrounding me but I see no light,
These walls are caving into me,
And I can't seem to find my way out of this maze,
This maze of fallen angels,
Now I see that I am one of them,
I am one of them falling into the night,
The night that has nothing to offer me.
Succumbed to darkness,
I love this feeling.
Let it consume who I am.
Welcome to the garden of fallen angels.
2007-08-02 16:01:53 · 3 answers · asked by nocries121 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The title should be "the garden of fallen angels" sorry bout that.
2007-08-02 16:11:32 · update #1
well its an amazing poem=)
i could NEVER write like that.
but for some reason it didnt seem very original.
im sorry.
good luck tho
2007-08-02 17:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by katherine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like the concept of this poem, but the poem itself fails to deliver. There are some good images, but it doesn't draw us in and it rambles about without direction at times. I'd suggest you write it again from scratch. Picture where you start, where you end up, and how you get from one place to the other, then paint us the images that fill that journey so we can accompany you there.
2007-08-04 03:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea of fallen angels is very platitudinous and it would have to be something spectacularly good to achieve originality.
Plus the lack of rhyme or fixed syllabic rhythm, this poem fails for me.
2007-08-03 05:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋