My parents aren't always arguing but they argue over the dumbest little things. My dad is an alcoholic, my mom is a little controlling, and both are stubborn as hell. I didn't think it was bothering me until a week ago when I got drunk and started punching the ground and crying over it. I really don't want them to get a divorce, especially because I am Catholic and I don't believe in it. So what should/ can I do to help the situation. Help please. This is starting to take its toll on me.
2007-08-02 15:12:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can do something. Do something to divert their attention onto you. This will prevent them from focusing on their disagreement with each other. Its called Triangulation.
2007-08-02 15:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Part of growing up in the real world is taking the bad things that happen in life as well as you take the good things. If your parents are unhappy with each other, than this is only going to effect you sooner, or later if they stay together. Yes, the divorce will have an effect on you. However, it would be kinder to you, and them to end it before it gets bitter. Try sitting down with them, and airing your feelings.
2016-05-17 04:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off realize that your not the cause of this situation sweetie. This is between them. You stated Dad's an alcoholic & Mom's controlling.
You should try to sit them both down with you and explain what it's doing to you. Let them know your feelings.
My sister divorced when my niece & nephew were young. It was hard on them, but believe me you'll get through this. Just stay strong & remember that no matter what your parents love you unconditionally. My sister remarried and my niece & nephew are older. They love their step-father and believe it or not, my sister, her current husband and ex husband go to b-day parties etc and are fine w/ eachother.
Best thing to do is express your feeling to your parents.
2007-08-02 15:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to one parent at a time, and share your thoughts and feelings with them. And they of course will tell nyou tons of reasons why they need to divorce, and convince you that they will still loved you and so on.
The thing about marriage is both party need to be patience, tolerance, forgiveness, honest, etc.. It takes a miracle for two parties to get married, why spoil the union because of minor and the most stupid issues?. Especially when a child is involved, which of course is yoiurself. Both parent has the obligation to take care of the child.
If both can think as a family and not as individual, then Ithink chances of making up is good. When marriage is involved they losses their rights as individual and they should nopt be making a decision based on themselves alone. They need to make a decision as a family which means they need to consult you as well to make the decision. if they can understand this principle then I think you will have a happy family.
take care
2007-08-02 15:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my moms catholic and she divorced my dad and I know tons of catholic men that are divorced. trust me for me divorce was the best thing that ever happened to my family.
express concern to your dad and maybe confront him about his alchol abuse but even if he gets help it probably wont change anything marriage wise.
Remeber you where drunk and drunk people cry about stuff that isnt bothering them. Be open with both your parents but be open and accepting of their disicions. fiftypercent of america is divorced I dont you you sould take it so hard. They might be able to find real happiness apart and that matters more than religious stuff.
2007-08-02 15:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by STL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may be further ahead to have two happy parents that are divorced than two miserable married parents that are too stressed and unhappy to be themselves. parents that stay for the sake of the kids aren't being fair to themselves or to the kids. of course it's hard and an adjustment for the kids but hind sight is 20/20 and in the end it might be best for everyone. please seek counselling for the anger you have they may be able to explain it in a different light than you have thought of. or talk to you parents and have them help you through it.
2007-08-02 15:18:36 · answer #6 · answered by rjsbabygirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage your dad to get help for his drinking, sounds like you might be following his example, don't do it. You all need family counseling, perhaps with your priest.
2007-08-02 15:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get them to go to the priest (or a therapist) for joint counseling. Tell them their situation is affecting your mental health.
2007-08-02 15:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Picalilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing that you can do is to STAY OUT OF IT. the divorce is between your parents. not you and your parents. please...stay out of it. it will only make things worse.
2007-08-02 15:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for advising in a social services organisation.They will help you all.
2007-08-02 15:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋