A love poem of types.?

Question

bloody kisses

Her heart as black as coal
Her soul belongs to wishes
She knew her part,she knew her role
Tied down with bloody kisses

Her slender thighs, porcelain white
Her hips she moved with purpose
Making love had never held such fright
Even fearing for my life, I stayed in her circus

With every thrust and moan
I was being ravaged
As I squirmed and groaned
She a total savage

She looked down and mocked me
With scorn and discontent
She was quite unhappy
I, completely spent

Answer 1

Ahhh, you know I love the "dark" ones. Only one "complaint"
"Even fearing for my life" sounds awkward. Could you get the same feelings if you leave that phrase out?? I think so.

Answer 2

First stanza, pretty good.
Second stanza, first two lines okay, but fell apart in lines three and four (too many beats, forced rhymes)
Third stanza, different meter, missing beat in line four.
Add an "And" and a "was" at the beginning of the last line to correct the beat "And I was completely spent" or "And I completely spent"

A little B&D/S&M...but not bad

Answer 3

good poem,but your word like not fit to put inside.Like the she look down and mocked me,but i will still give a a star.