A poem about hate.?

Question

bile

Stuck in the back of my throat
Bitter, nasty, horrible taste
People preconcieve too fast
Black and brown and yellow too
Why do we hate
Try to see the good in each
I don't understand
Why someone would choose
To taste the pure bile of hate?

Answer 1

your title would be better if it included the word "hate"... as in "taste of hate" perhaps.

"people preconcieve too fast"..."preconceive" is to have a notion "before" something happens...I think you may mean, in the context of your poem, "prejudge" or even "make snap judgments" or "make judgments"...but not "preconcieve".

"why do we hate
try to see the good in each"

these two lines seem like pieces of an idea, not the idea itself. You need to work on them...maybe, "why do we hate instead of seeing the good"...or something along those lines. Or, if you wanted a true contrast to the bitterness of hate, you could have said something that used the word "sweet" or "good"...the "pure bile of hate" is a weak phrase because it mixes images that are already fixed in our heads.

I know what you were going for...but it didn't work the way it should. Try again with different images...that's my best advice....and keep writing.

Answer 2

I like the prose style and the last line particularly. The poem makes me feel sad and I don't understand why someone would choose to hate, either. It's a most uncomfortable feeling...worse than rage.

Answer 3

i like it. it takes an emotion and couples it with an action, like in the last line. it really is an eye opener for some to actually see it like that. Why would someone choose to do so? It's exactly like what you said. it makes no sense. bravo.

Answer 4

I am not a big fan of poetry, so it means a lot when i say this is a moving poem. You have done well, grasshopper

Answer 5

Good, but a little too mass market emo. You need to say what you really feel. You ought to scream it.