My husband and I were engaged for a year, and married for 5. He cheated on me, and I am having a hard time staying in the marriage.We are considering separation, then divorce. My engagement ring was his grandmothers. He has not even mentioned wanting it back, we are still wearing our rings, but I feel I will be taking it off soon, should I give it back to him?
2007-08-02 12:10:10 · 46 answers · asked by dobiedawgs 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would, only to sever all contact with him
2007-08-02 12:15:33 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..this is sort of a hard one to answere. Honestly, if you were engaged to him now and decided to cancel...it's common for women to give back the ring. An engagement ring is basically a symbol that you have accepted this persons offer to be with you for the rest of your life. Because you didn't stay in the marriage till death do you part, you're canceling the contract. Being a family Heirloom, one of your children will eventually inherit the ring. But it's very close to home for your husband so maybe it's best that you give it back. Do you really want that memory anyway? He did hurt you after all, why would you want something like that as a memory or a reminder of the past?
2007-08-02 12:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Marissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. A family heirloom means exactly that - a FAMILY heirloom. If you are leaving the family, you leave the ring behind. This just shows you have CLASS. to keep a family heirloom makes you look like a greedy beeyotch. If you give back the family heirloom along with a nice letter saying that, in spite of your marriage failure, you understand and appreciate the legacy of his family. People will say only nice things about you and you will feel much better about yourself. To keep the ring shows bitterness, greed, and a vengeful nature. Always remember that anyone who wrestles with pigs gets a lot of mud on themselves,too. Let people remember that HE was a cheat and you were the CLASS ACT that he lost by his stupidity.
2007-08-02 12:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry - I had to laugh reading one of the previous comments!
If the keeping of a ring is what they consider to be "serious consequences" - no, serious consequences goes more like keeping the house, the car, the children, the pensions and peace of mind.
What do you want the ring for?
So you can sit down with a few bottles of Merlot and stare at it and cry about what he did to you?
Don't give him the ring back - THROW the ring back at him!
Is it really important?
It's a stone in a bit of metal - it meant NOTHING to him - why should it mean anything to you?
Get rid of it AND him!
Good luck sweetie - you are so much better off without the twit!
2007-08-02 12:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be a nice gesture to give it back since it was his grandmother's but you are under no obligation to do so. An engagment ring is given as a "gift" in anticpation of marriage, since you DID get married the gift is therefore your's to do whatever you wish to do with it.
2007-08-02 14:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a divorced woman myself, I know that right now you have a million things running through your mind. I would suggest not making any rash decisions right now. Hold on to the ring and sort things out first. You can always give it back at a later time if you feel like you should.
2007-08-02 12:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by free2bejewel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once at a party with several older women. Each one had a story about how a piece of jewelry that was a family heirloom ended up in the possession of a woman who was no longer part of the family.
It might not make any difference to him, but ehe other members of his family might really like it back. Could you wait until you have split up all of your marital property and then suggest that you could trade the ring for something that he got that is of similar value?
2007-08-02 12:18:24 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once it is given and he has broken his promise to you, you are under no obligation to return it. However, since it is a family heirloom; I would either keep it for any child that you have out of this marriage... OR I would offer to return it in exchange for him paying a join debt like credit cards or something of the like in fair market value. This way, he will understand that he has consequence to his actions; and not just getting the ring back scott-free.
2007-08-02 12:27:31 · answer #8 · answered by Rogue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you feel that you should, or you wouldn't be asking the question. If you think that giving it to him would cause some kind of emotional confrontation, then consider giving it to his mother, or keeping it for your children (if you have any). Or, just let him know that it's in a safe deposit box until he's ready to have it back. But yes, ultimately, you should return it to his family rather than keeping it.
2007-08-02 12:22:06 · answer #9 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you have children then I would say to either keep it and later give it to one of them, or give the ring back to him to give it to one of your children. If you do not have children, then I would have to say give it back to him, the sentimental value of that ring is great, and his grandmother probably loved him a great deal to give it to him. Plus by giving it back would say a great deal about y our character, even though the b a s t a r d cheated. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-02 12:24:01 · answer #10 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO he gave it to you and if they are kids you should give them the ring when the first one marrys either way dont give the ring back
2007-08-02 12:15:48 · answer #11 · answered by fancy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋