my husband and i were married for 23 years. we've came to a point where we had to break up because of his lies. he is a work aholic and a cumpulsive lier. he has been a good husband and been a good man, but he always loved his work and he lies to get what he wants. he is so good at telling lies that i always believed him, and after a while i always knew the truth and it hurts coz i never lied to him. some of his lies were stupid and nonsense. and he says that he left us because of work. he was braught up lying because of his father. he still says that he loves us but can he ever change? is it that difficult to change? i dont think i can trust him anymore. does he need therapy?
2007-08-02 12:07:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
someone said that im 18... well we are a group and we are all using the same account. coz we only have 1 computer lool!
2007-08-02 12:47:16 · update #1
Well my dear, if you must know i highlt dought it, as a matter of fact: i'm going through the same thing you are right now! but iv'e only been married to him 4 8 mon's and he's been lieing to me all this time. also he he just love's to lie to me. so he wont loose me as well!!! and i have asked him. why he get's home so late? he tell's me oh, 7-11 or circle-k ran out of ice or the traffic is bad ECT!!!! you know what i mean? well i also carry his lunch bag down to his truck, it has a sholder strap, well last month, he took it off and i could have !!@@@## him well there was a hicky mark right there!! he said that he must have got it at work, and he also lie's abot drinking as well! on the way home and he also love's his job!!! me i'm just going to get a divorce, cause i have giving him way more then 15 chances, i'm done! so no i don't think that they will EVER change at all!! they are all cumpulsive lier's well you take care good luck :)
2007-08-02 12:29:27 · answer #1 · answered by mommysangels467 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as per statement he is workholic. hence he is not lazy. for some people career is more important than any thing. when u are demanding and questioning he goes on telling lies. but u shpould understand that he is good but work or u makes him like that. have patience since u have married and spent 23 years willingly or unwillingly. instead of criticising better cooperate with him and understand him. but dont blame his father. what is his role. at this juncture break up creates sociaAL STIGMA FOR BOTH OF U. URS IS NOT A BIGGEST PROBLEM. just adjustment problem. if u cooperate and understand him things will be normal. u also use u r time on some social work or do productive work so that u r mind will be normal. all the best.
2007-08-02 23:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by sabu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered another question and in it had said the liars I've known, have never stopped. I wonder if it is a sickness like alcoholism? I've heard of going to therapy for this, but never known if it actually worked. From what I've seen, it must be very difficult to change. Ones I know don't really seem to realize they are lieing! Their lies ARE their reality. One guy I know corrects his wife every time he hears her lie. She just goes "Oh?" and goes on! You could go to therapy, too, and find out how to live with a liar, and see if you're up for it. Also I imagine there are psychological books dealing with the subject, too, @ Amazon.com. Good luck!
2007-08-02 19:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say "he has been a good husband"...yet that he is a pathological liar. I am confused. But I do understand that you have a reason not to trust him since you know that he lied to you. He can change only if he wants to change and if he decided that he needs help. I know it's not making it easy. My husband does not want to see things the way I see them. So I will go to a counsellor myself. So that I find some peace in the decision I will have to make. Good luck!
2007-08-02 19:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, anyone can change for the better (if the person truly wants to change). The fact that one used to be X or Y, does not mean that one will have to remain X or Y, unless, of course, one so chooses.
2007-08-03 15:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by Njihem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 23 years the very LEAST he needs is therapy. It is very hard to change after all that time. I hope you can see that you deserve better and leave him..... maybe he'll get himself together but it sounds like you staying with him just enables him.
2007-08-02 19:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by europa312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a liar can ever change.
Oh, ya he really needs some therapy! I think he lies so much that he doesn't even realize he's doing it, it's like breathing to him.
2007-08-02 19:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by **Llola** 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am little young 2 answer....bt i guess yes ur husban needs therapy....n it will be really tough fr u to trust him coz he has always been lying.....bt u can tak 2 him.....n tell him if he is willing 2 work on the relationship he has to get rid if the lies.......coz its just not gud fr any realtionship...trust is the bottm line
2007-08-02 19:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom used to always say " a leopard never changes it spots" how true that is.
you know it is what it is... if he's been doing that all his life I really don't see that changing..
he may need help for that issue.
2007-08-02 19:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANyone can change, but it gets difficult the more it goes on. So I don't know if ur husband can.
2007-08-02 22:48:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋