this one is for everyone to answer! PLEASE I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET?

Question

ive been with my b/f for 3 years and i love him soooo much...we have been through everything togther...well since the day i started dating him he has been in love with playing baseball and wanted to go pro one day...fast forward to 2 years later and he has been asked to go to Texas to try out for the Astros. I know how great he is and i know its a very high posibilty that he will make. im very happy for him but im also thinking about myself. we are engaged and if he made it that meens i will have to leave cali and go to texas..im very close with my family and i never wanted to leave cali but now i have to choose love or home...im so lost with what to do...i dont want to move somewere and be alone waiting for him to come home he will be gone sooo much and i wont have any friend or family for comfort...it will be me with a house and animals....it will be me watching him live his dream while all mine will be gone. i just dont know what to do..any advice

and dont say if i love him i will go, love isnt enoff somtimes ya know...

Answer 1

alryt...heres what you should do...
you will be married, you have a husband. You will have to make sacrifices every now and then.. You have to devote your love and time to him. If you really love him like you say you do, then go out to texas with him.. honestly, it'll be for the best... and for vacations, come back home to cali and you'll have a blast cause you havent been here in a while. so every time you come back, its another memory to keep in your box.. ; ) good luck

Answer 2

I'm gonna say ..if you love him go . Try it for a while. you don't have to marry right now ... but what a great test . Your home will always be home . You will always be able to go back and be greeted w/ open arms ... A relationship which turns in a turning point of your life ,can be a test as to what is to come . If your boyfriend makes it you will have choices only some of us dream about . Some choices will be given to you some of us would never want but what an exciting dream to be there supporting him 1 in million get this chance .. Your love must be very strong to do this and he needs the true support for his future . Do not go if you will hold him back on his dreams. It is a lifetime opportunity. Be clear about this . If he makes it ...and you both make it... it will also be a part ....a very important sacrifice in your lives with benefits... But then again everything good has its own sacrifices. Its all about how you handle them . Get ready for a world wind ...but keep your feet on the ground because it could be gone overnight and all you will have left is each other and your family. Make a life where he is for yourself. Visit home . When he makes it to the top you can buy a 2nd home where your family lives ...GOOD LUCK>>>>

Answer 3

If he actually makes the big show, He'll have enough bucks to fly from Huston to LA whenever he wants, or you want. If he makes the minors at whatever level, He's going to be on the road so much you'll never see him during the season anyway. Besides So Cal is home to wives and families from virtually every team in the majors. I'd say stay here for now. Let him chase his dream for a while, and give it a year or so to decide how far he's likely to go. Then make a decision weather to move or not. Besides even if the 'stros sign him chances are he won't stay with them for very long. Statistically speaking, he'll probably wear several uniforms for several different teams in several different organizations before this is over. A player needs to learn to live out of a suitcase, and a bus. A wife I think would go nuts schlepping all over the country every time he gets traded, or moves up. Stay home for now. Your family will help get you through this. See him when you can. In the end it'll be worth it.

Answer 4

"love isnt enoff somtimes ya know..." I think you mean "love isn't enough". But you're right. You are entitled to your dreams, I say stay where you can reach your dreams and your goals. Let him go to Texas to pursue his. If you are meant to be together you will be eventually but don't put your life on hold to try and hold on to him because you will regret it and eventually resent him, which can be detrimental to your relationship. Been there, done that. I left a great job, with terriffic benefits, wonderful pay, was looking to purchase my own town house, etc. to move 3,000 miles away to live with my boyfriend and eventually got married. After the first five years of marriage he became verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive and towards the end of our marriage he was physically abusive, after 23 years I filed for divorce. Had I not left that job I would have a home that was completely paid for, and I would be retired living on a VERY nice pension, traveling, having a good time. Albeit I wouldn't have my daughter whom I wouldn't trade for everything I could have had, but yes I DO sometimes wish I hadn't left it all behind.
Yes you may love him with all your heart but love yourself first it will only make your love for him that much better.

Answer 5

Some perspective: my husband is in the military. I currently live in England, far away from any of my family or friends, and I am at home with two kids and a dog while my husband is at war.

If you think your dreams will be "all gone" if your boyfriend gets a job he likes, then you have some other kind of problem. You are pretty clear that you don't want to move to Texas and you don't want to give anything up for him. So, don't. You say that you "love him soooo much," but the rest of your question is devoted to the reasons that you don't want to do this for him. You really don't need to listen to anyone else. Just listen you what you are saying about this yourself, which is that this relationship is not for you.

Love IS home. That's not a choice. If it's not home, then it's not love.

Answer 6

You can still follow your dreams and he can to. When he is away you can always fly home when you can. If he does well and makes good money he can retire early and you both can have a great life. I understand that you will miss your family and friends but someday the two of you will have your own family and can always make new friends to add to the old. Think about how wonderfull it will be to be able to stay home and raise your own children and not have to work if you wanted to do that. What a wonderfull future you and the love of your life can have even though you had to make some sacrifices for it in the beging. You both will have a whole lifetime to be together and you can still acomplish your dreams to in a different way at first but you can and will both meet on the same path.

Answer 7

I'll give you the same advice I would give any person who was having second thoughts about her wedding. If you are not absolutely sure this is what you want to do then don't go through with it. If you are having the slightest doubt about marrying this man then don't do it.

If you truly loved him and were ready for marriage you wouldn't even be asking this question. You would be ready to leave your home and family and follow him anywhere to be with him without the slightest hesitation.

The fact that he likely won't even make the team anyway is irrelevant here. This isn't the right man for you and you are not ready for marriage. Let him go. You clearly need to do much growing up first. Wait until you've been on your own awhile and have developed some independence. When the right man comes along you will know it and will have no doubts about spending your life with him.

Answer 8

Hey Friend! First let me say this, family is VERY important, but, once you leave the nest, then it is time for you to make your family. But, this doesn't mean that you and your family can't visit. Like when your b/f is out of town (assuming he does get accepted) go stay with your family. He might not always be in Texas. And believe me, love does have a lot to do with it. If you really love him, you will go! I know you didn't want to hear that but it is true. And as far as your dreams, don't give them up for anyone, if you are going to regret it. I gave up my dream for my family and I don't regret it! Texas has a lot to offer. I think it is a great thing, not to mention a once in a lifetime opportunity for your b/f. Try not to worry too much. Your family loves you and you will get to spend lots of time with them. I hope this helps some! Good luck and many blessings!

Answer 9

Well, I traveled 6,000 miles away from my family when I got married... Yes, you have never been away from your family, but there's more to life than your immediate family - as important as they may be. The world is getting smaller and smaller every day - nowadays you can keep in touch through e-mail and web cams, and it's easy to jump on the plane and fly home. Your dreams shouldn't be limited to spending time with your immediate family for the rest of your life, anyway; don't you have an idea of what YOU want to be when you grow up? What kind of job, what kind of husband, what kind of life do you want to have? Just because you're moving to be with the person you love, it doesn't put an end to your dreams. You can make new friends at the new place, and you can still stay in close contact with your family.

If you feel there's something wrong with your relationship, then I agree that it would be a bad idea to leave everything you know and follow the person you don't really want to be with. In this case, stay - you can always find someone who is more suited for you, who feels more "right". Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. Do what feels right - not out of desperation or fear, but out of the desire to do it.

Answer 10

Well....am i wrong saying this, i dunno, but, why did you commit yourself to this guy in the 1st place, you have known about his dream for 3 years, but it looks like you hoped deep down that it wouldnt happen for him, and that you could both play happy families, YOUR WAY!!!!
Engagement is a commitment to love and be with each other, support each other in your lives, including dreams, goals, etc. He has a massive chance here to live his dream and if you are going to cloud that dream or make it difficult for him, dont, it would be selfish, if you dont want to leave mammy and daddy, stay where you are, let him go, be on your own and watch him on tv and magazines with his new popstar girlfriend, or go start a new life together as adults do, and be happy.
Dont be selfish and mess up his dream. He will only get 1 chance. If it doesnt work out, you can come home knowing you tried at least, you will never know until you try....that goes for both of you. It is scary making a big move and change, but that what makes life interesting, its not a problem, its a challenge.

Answer 11

Too many answers and you'll be in the same boat; undecided:) No, I see your point-tough call-but only you can decide. I moved away from family and friends to be with fiance and totally always regretted it. Can you just go stay with him for awhile and see how it goes before making a permanent decision? My son and his wife moved away and they love it as they found friends right off the bat. Of course, we all miss someone when we move, and your family and friends themselves may move and leave YOU. So what would truly make you happiest? Can you live without him? I don't believe in long-distance relationships and don't see how they can work in the long run. And if you move and aren't married, you can still move back. You're future should look like an adventure to you right now, so relax and try to have fun with it.