why am i treated like a 2nd rate friend?

Question

This is my third high school, and it's been really hard. All the people that i hang out with here treat me like a second rate friend. They don't return my calls or my text messages and they're the ones who make the plans. And they only hang out with me when everything else fails. I listen to all their problems, and give them unbiased advice. I think I'm a really good friend. But why do they treat me like the worst friend in the world? I'm not ugly at all, i dress really nice, i'm funny, i'm not selfish. Whenever i go to visit my other friends at my old high schools, they treat me like a god and always put me first. What's going on? Am i missing the big picture?

I'm not a follower at all. I'm more a lone ranger at school, and i do not try to be a "first rate" friend with everyone, i just hate when they say they wanna hang out one day, and never call me back, then act all nonchalant about it. I am anything but passive, and they think it's really bitchy when i bring it up and snap back at them. I don't treat any of my friends like this, and i don't like it when i get treated like that. Why am i the only person to get treated like this by everyone? I know sometimes i'm a klutz, but that's not a plausible excuse

Answer 1

Hey you,

You seem like a really nice person, it's lame how your "friends" treat you the way they do. But maybe it's time to realize that they really aren't your friends. As far as hanging out with people, sometimes giving them space may be a good way for them to realize how much of a genuine friend you are to them, and they may end up calling you. If you go after them all the time, it may seem as if you are desperate. If you make plans, (meaning they say lets hang out) and end up not calling, always have something else to do, so that you are not just left lingering. Also, if they ask you what happened just say "oh I forgot" Sounds a lil bitchy, but why not beat them at their own game.

I only say this because I know how hard it is to move around from school to school and not really being able to make friends, and true friends are hard to come by, especially in Highschool. Once you are in College, all this would sound childish for you. And I am sure you know this already. You seem like you are very smart, I wouldn't worry about these people, venture out, and maybe you will meet more people at your high school. You never know who you will click with.

I hope this helps! :)

Answer 2

Sounds like you have a really annoying friend. The part where she is being obnoxious, you would have to accept if you really value her friendship. However, if your own friend is bad-mouthing you, then you totally shouldn't be friends with her. You don't deserve that and neither does your best friend. So I suggest breaking it off with her. But I mean, you guys can still be acquaintances, just don't hang around her too much and avoid her. You should stay away from people like that because you will either become like them or a victim of theirs. If she starts talking cr@p about you again, stand up to her and say something to shut her up. But then, just ignore her and hold your head high. If you don't react to her bishyness, she will get annoyed and eventually bored. So don't react, I mean that stuff probably isn't even true. As for your friends. If your best friend is close to one of the girls in that group, you guys should go and talk to her privately. Tell her what has been happening and ask her if she would like to join you guys. You'll never know, you might be able to get more than one of those girls to join you. But if you don't, don't worry, there's plenty of better people out there who would be great friends with you. Be glad you have your best friend with you. Find your true friends. Be strong. (:

Answer 3

Honestly I think you may be putting a little too much into the friendship thang I understand your young and it fun to hang out with your friends but people as a whole can be really mean and if they see you are caring and needy for friendship they will give you the opposite so relax a little don't try so hard you will eventually developed some friendship and please do not let them get to you, that exactly what feeds their ego's you wanting of their friendship and they would befriend an enemy before you trust me I been there and experience alot of hurt and pain because of being so needy for friendships

Answer 4

Ok, its nothing to do with you, it's your friends. You need to dump them if they're just using you, it's not good on your own selfesteem and self worth. They'll realize what they missed and feel bad after. I was kinda in the same situation as you, I'm not going to put myself up, but I'm pretty, nice, true friend and dress well too, and my friends kept treating me like crap, so I dumped them and felt a lot better. You don't deserve that, find new friends asap, good luck!

Answer 5

i think these girls at your school are a little too confident in themselves. have more confidence, and put yourself more 'out there' if you know what i mean. don't always stick with the same few friends. like them, have a few other friends to hang out with if they don't hang out with you. also, don't be more of a follower. be a leader as in like, share your opinions, and just trust yourself. be on the edge of bossiness but not to the extent where people start to fear/resent you. stand your ground and keep firm don't be like 'oh okay fine i'll do that'

Answer 6

Your the new kid and you don't fit. There is nothing you can do about that. I hope you find some friends that aren't quite so shallow as to treat another person like a piece of dirt.

Answer 7

Sounds like, you left your comfort zone at pevious high school, "Treat you like God and put you first." Are you trying to hard? Be your self, accept them as they are, keep smiling,
Don't be a care taker, Express your needs, None of us are always first, Enjoy your teen years, they fly by fast!!!!
Blessings

Answer 8

Maybe because you want to be "1st rate friend" too much and it shows.

Answer 9

stop being their friend. there's more fish in the sea (or whatever that phrase is).

Answer 10

be your own friend and you won't care....