My bf of 4 months is still hurt by his ex gf and he talks about her a lot. I am not too happy but think he is worth waiting for. We have been really close lately. I just rang his place and she is there the 2nd timt this week to talk and I feel so upset. She used him for 6 months and dumped him and has just split up with her new bf and now she is round there. I feel gutted.
He says they are friends but has been distant this week. Now I feel really stupid and used and am in complete shock. Its like she doesnt want him but doesnt want him to have anyone else. What a mess.
How in the hell can I deal with this I feel devasted especially when she started shouting at him asking who was on the phone and he said he had to go. Part of me feels like going round there to find out what is going on and the other feels like telling him to p** off. Any advice would be apprecited
2007-08-02 11:10:46 · 17 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your BF is still hurt by the breakup with this girl then they are not just friends. He knows it and you should be aware of it too. It doesn't sound like he was ready for another relationship when you came along. I'm sorry to say but it sounds like you are the rebound girl. Tell him to call you when he is really ready for a new start, but don't wait by the phone until he does. There are plenty of guys out there looking for a great girl like you. Believe it and it will happen.
P.S. Just about everyone goes through this kind of experience at least once in life. Don't beat yourself up because you cared. Live and learn!
2007-08-02 11:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be wary of the rebound relationship. It is common when someone is "dumped" or a relationship ends, for that person to jump straight into another relationship without having worked through their issues. To late now, but if I find freinds in that situation, I tell them to wait a few months before they start dating.
That said - he will do what he will. If he goes back - well it is better to know know than later down the track. If the trust with you is already broken or you do not particularly trust him, than that is not a good point to continue the relationship as well.
2007-08-02 11:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by Grumbles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seems like he still may have feeling for her. He may be distant because he is a bit confused. Perhaps you both need a break from the relationship I know that would hurt but I think that them rekindling a romance while your together would hurt even worse.
Now her shouting on the background was on purpose and we all know that much. She is obviously playing mind games with him and trying to get you jealous. I can't believe he said he had to go. I would have driven my car out there and popped up on them. surprise! I would love to see her reaction and ask her to go because you want to spend time with your boyfriend. I can't stand witches like that but if he was so willing to hang up to tend to her be distant and make you feel left out then maybe your better off without him.
2007-08-02 11:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me,I really liked this guy a lot and i thought he liked me because we had been dating for over 7 months. One night when i walked in a club where a lot of my friends and i hang in, I saw my boyfriend and his ex holding hands i said what's this and he smiled at me and i slapped him in his face she started to say some thing to me and i slapped her in her face to and said you can have him he isn't worth it and walked away. Doing that made me feel so much better I got the last word in and i made them both feel bad in front of all our friends.If i were you i would go over his place and see what the hell was going on with the two of them. At best you can put him in his place and at the same time let her see he has been with you .
2007-08-02 11:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really nice boys (the kind you want to hang on to) are too thoughtful to tell her to p*ss off.
I'd go round - but I'd take milk and cake... "I know you two need to talk so I thought I'd make the brews so you can get on with it... cake anyone?"
Smile sweetly in the secure knowledge that she is x and you are current.
If you behave like a vixen, then you will soon be x too.
Think of it as - him doing his best to support a friend in need - and be there for him when she's gone. "That must have been difficult for you, (insert pet name) but you know I am always here for you."
(The fact that she shouted at him just served to remind him of what a lucky escape he had...)
2007-08-02 11:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by franja 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just simply say "clearly you are not interested in a relationship with me, goodbye" if you want a chance with him should he ever stop seeing her then say "if you ever get over her and want to go out, give me a call" Don't waste anymore time on someone who has no respect for you. If he wants her back he should be man enough to let you go first. But he's probably scared he'll end up with no one. Just get rid of him, I know it'll be hard right now but you'll get to keep your dignity
2007-08-02 11:16:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you deserve some answers. It might not be the best advice but I personally would go round there and confront the situation. Be calm but confident, you deserve to know where you stand.
2007-08-02 11:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously doesn't respect you and is still whopped by his ex-girlfriend. Sorry babe, it just doesn't sound like he cares for you. I would move on. Just be thankfull you figured it out 4 months into instead of years down the road. Good luck to you.
2007-08-02 12:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by tinamarie1206 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say she used him for 6 months then dumped him. Is that his side of the story? Now he is seeing you and her. Sounds like he is a narcasistic personality disorder - run for your life!
2007-08-02 23:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww, its a hard time for you hun i know, but it does sound a little suspect, especially if shes kicking off when hes on the phone to you. i know you must care about him, but if he's with her rather than you you should find someone better who can treat you the way you deserve.
2007-08-02 19:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by Venomous Doll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋