how do I get my husband to stop makig our sex life so routine?

Question

My husband likes things orderly but this is ridiculous! Everything in our sex life is exactly the same, even the time. I've tried being a little more aggressive and being the one to instigate sex, I've tried lingerie, even hitting the gym more than usual. what do I do?

Answer 1

Sounds like you are trying your best to spice up your sex life. Keep trying. Try tying him up and just having your way with him. If that doesn't work, let him know that his failure to make adapt in the bed room is putting a strain on the marriage. I don't know of any guy that was really in love that wouldn't at least make the attempt if they thought they could lose their woman. Hope that helps.

Answer 2

With all the answers it seems as if you are not alone. From a guys point of view here is what I see. He is probably very insecure about his ability to please you and doesn't understand that you can be pleased without having an orgasm. You probably need to see a marriage councilor to work out that and other issues. One man I know was having an affair and his wife caught him. he said he just wasn't getting enough sex at home. She said "ok" and then she wore him out. Once, twice or three times a night, in the morning and if he was resting it was "don't you love me?" He told me after a week he actually got sick of sex. So, failing to go to counseling, I would take it over the top with him. If you don't have an O then make him do it again and again. Then when he wants to talk about it - talk about it, in detail, explain everything, and keep it up till he gets sick of it. Then take him back to bed and do it again. Ask him to do oral, over and over - he soon will get tired of it. Just lay there and moan and tell him to "go faster, go slower, etc.) After a while you should find some middle ground. Yes, different positions are sometimes nice, and you are right not to give him oral every time. If you do everything the same then nothing is special.

Answer 3

I know I'll take some crap for this but this is why I'm for premarital sex. He sounds obsessive and if he is, you're not going to be able to change it. You said you've tried being a "little" more aggressive, etc., but with a man like that, you have to be A LOT aggressive.
Go on a hike and show him what it's like to make love in nature. I don't know of a man who would turn that down.

Answer 4

Try taking control... literally. Maybe tie him to the bed with a couple of his neckties. Then have your way with him. Whipped cream and strawberries can be a nice addition (or other food items...kind of like a sex picnic. Hide a video camera, record the routine lovemaking and threaten to show it to your girlfriends unless he loosens up a bit. Need more ideas?

Answer 5

Everyone is going to tell you the same thing dress up surprise him at the door with nothing on everything short of kissing his a s s. Maybe your husband is satisfied with your sex life and you will just have to come to grips with that.

Answer 6

Talk to him about it. Sex should not be routine! Where is the spontaneity? My fiance swears he isn't all touchy feely, but each time when we are together, it's never the same and I think that is what keeps it alive and gives us something to look forward to!

Answer 7

Try being verbal and grab him in a needy desperate way life you can't live without it. Treat hi like a piece of meat.

Answer 8

Talk to him about your routine and your desire to change that.
May be you need a new honeymoon;it works well.Try to touch him softly with caress;change your look too,even a new parfum.

Use parfumed candles in the bedroom;some kamasutra touchs

Answer 9

Take charge, it's your sex life too. Don't be afraid to think of new things that you would like to do and initiate

Answer 10

Tell him he needs to step up his game!! Obviously he cant take ur hints.