My wife just made it clear to me that it's either her way or the highway, she left me 2 years ago and we've been separated but have been in contact, and apparently being some kind of couple still. When we married we were philosophically and religiously the same. Afterwards, she changed her mind about those issues, and kind of left me cause of my nomad-like lifestyle (I do move a lot), and more cause of my beliefs.
Now, she tells me if I don't go to her and stay there it's over.
I don't know if I really have a question, I just feel about it. But I don't want to give up something that I know it's real (of course I don't want to upset people with different beliefs, i just feel that way).
Any word or advice, or just a "damn man, too bad" is welcome, specially from women.
Thanks.
2007-08-02 09:16:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, if you let her walk all over you then she will do it for the rest of your life. Are your belifes something that you are willing to change? Do you love her that much and could you be happy changeing? If so then go for it. But also concider that maybe she is asking you to change because she knows that you want, and this is an easy way out for her.
I am sorry to hear about your bad luck. It is rare to find people who want to fight for what they have. Best of luck to you,
2007-08-02 09:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's the thing - you said that you move around. After marriage, stability is important, especially if you are planning to have kids. After marriage, couples need other couples for friendship and just build up a life together. If you keep moving around that there won't be any solid foundation. You will constantly start a new life and then move on. There's no one to really blame here as you guys may not have known what is expected or what life demands after marriage.
Talk to her, and pick a place to stay put. Tolerate each other's belifs. It's actually good if there are some conflicting beliefs, because now you have something to talk about. Too mcuh similarity is boring :)
Good luck
2007-08-02 09:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by Centered 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to give up your beliefs, lifestyle etc. to accommodate your wife's needs, ego ?. If your wife cannot accept you because your beliefs changed, and she wants only her way, man, take the highway, get a divorce, someday hopefully you'll find a woman who'll appreciate you for who you are, don't fool yourself, you know in your heart that your marriage has been dead for quite a while, that you and you wife grew very apart. Move on !
2007-08-02 09:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by Idon'tlivehere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman and I believe your wife is being unreasonable. The #1 rule of marriage should be, "Don't try to change your spouse". If she knew that about you and married you anyway, SHE'S the one who changed, not you.
I accept responsibility for my divorce. I was 18 and by the time I was 38 I was a different person. He said I changed and I had. I grew up. He stayed the same.
Don't change who you are unless it hurts others. Be yourself and find someone who will love you for who you are. Good luck!
2007-08-02 09:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you too aren't the same or she realized that the reality of what your beliefs mean (like moving around alot) was more than she could handle (she may have not realized she couldn't deal with it at the beginning), move on. Get a divorce and let her find someone who is more alligned with her needs.
2007-08-02 09:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by Karen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love her enough to conform to what she wants, or are you set in your ways? If what she wants isn't the real you, then what you have isn't real.
Although staying in limbo for 2 years has got to be hard. You have to either go with her, or end it and let the two of you move on.
2007-08-02 09:25:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it sounds like that she realized that your life style and beliefs are more important to you than being with her.
If you really believe in them and she wont accept you the way you are, i'd say just let it go!
Sorry about your divorce, it is never easy! Life is tricky and people always change...
2007-08-02 09:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Laura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its sad that women take good guys for granted, personally I don't think different beliefs or opinions or moving around is cause for divorce
2007-08-02 09:22:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so, do i understand this correctly that you are married but move around a lot and don't really live with your wife? yeah, that's messed up. you cant' have your cake and eat it too. women like to be with their man physically. if you won't do that, don't count on the relationship either.
2007-08-02 09:33:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants things her way and you want things your way. You two are not ready or mature enough for a good marriage.You have to be committed to each other and set goals for your life together and plan for children. I really don't think you and she are ready for the committment.
2007-08-02 09:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋