what would you do if your husband's parents disprespected you like this and he did nothing about it? Help!

Question

My husbands parents have never been very respectful of me or my feelings. They live directly across from us and are always in our business. Let me give some examples, one day I was having severe cramps and I was terrified I had an ectopic pregnancy. I went to talk to his mother about it b/c I was so scared I was pregnant and I would have to abort it and his father was listening and came in and actually told me that if I was pregnant the baby would be better off dead then to have me as a mother for it, and his mother laughed! I went home crying and told my husband and all he said was, "He didn't mean anything by it." Luckily I wasn't pregnant though. They also say little things, like they know I'm from the city (they're from the country) and they're always talking about how horrible city people are right in front of me and my husband just sits there. Well now I have a 6 month old baby and they keep him alot b/c everytime I ever kept him his mother would throw a fit and everyone would...

get mad at me for not letting her keep him when she wants to so badly. So I just gave in and let her. But I told her soon I wanted to start keeping him since I am a stay-at-home mom and she said, "Well you can't keep him every day!" like he's her baby! Then she makes little indirect hints that if she couldn't keep him every day she'd sue us because "grandparents have rights too". I have nothing against her keeping him accept for the fact she goes against my every word. For instance she wanted to fee him solids when he was 3 months old but I said no and told her to wait until he was 6 months old so he would develope allergies....

Then she goes behind our back and did it anyway! I got upset and told my husband hoping he'd talk to her since they're his parents, but he instead tells me I'm being over sensitive so I let it go. Then I get all excited because I decided to feed out baby his first juice and I tell her about it and she goes, "Oh I've been giving him juice for months now!" The list goes on and on like this. I wasn't there for any of my baby's first and I'm extremely depressed over it. If I tell my husband he tells me I'm making a big deal over nothing, if I tell them everyone gets mad at me. I'm at my wits end, what do I do?!?

Answer 1

You need to move far away from these people. They are horrible excuses for human beings.

Answer 2

I can definitely feel for you because my in-laws (now ex) were the same way. First of all I encourge you to remember that the baby is yours. That baby knows you and will alwyas love you. Do not feel that you have to make them happy all the time. There are such things as grand parents rights but not full time. To get full rights to the baby they would have to prove you unfit. Another thing I suggest is to sit down and talkt o your husband about this and explain that it is time to cut the cord. My ex would sit by and not say a word either. It was very frustrating then it started causing problems in our marriage. I would never suggest living close to inlaws that are like that. You need to stand up for yourself and let them know that you are the mom and that you will raise that baby. They will either get mad or they will understand.
On the other hand grand parents have those times that they do not mean to go behind your back they are just being grandparents but you need to decide that line. If you do not feel comfortable then you need to speak up. I would not sit in silence. Your baby will only go through these stages once and it is important that you are there. Do not let those people intimidate you are make you feel bad. Parenting is not something that is prefected it takes work and it never starts. Iw ould definitely set all of the straight including my husband because if not then your marriage will be broken up. You might even want to consider moving if you have the finances. This will help because they are not so close where they can pop up at anytime.

Answer 3

Girl tell those people to kiss your ***!!!!!!!!! I dont give a damn if they were living on my front porch, I could walk pass those *** holes like they were invisible. Get you child what in the hell is wrong with you dont you know that those people are the living devil. Grandparents have rights too, yes they do, good ones, not the one;'s from hell, and if your husband cant get a spine I would leave his *** behind. I feel so sorry for you, but some of this you have brought on your self by not having the guts to stand up to these horrible people, please do so, and do it right away or you are going to be in a lot of trouble down the line, because all this woman has to do is file for custody of your child make up some dirt on the type of parent you are, for example say you never wanted this baby any way, and that the child is with her the majority of the time because of that, trust and believe the judge is going to look at that. Dont let them set you up and that is what seems to be happening.

Answer 4

This is a serious situation and a hard one to fix. It sounds like you have tried to talk to your husband and he is no help. Your husband needs to understand that you and that baby are his immediate family now and he needs to let go of his parents a little bit. As far as what you can do, all I can say is that you need to stand up for yourself and not give a **** what anyone thinks. This is your baby and they do not have the right to tell you how to raise this baby. Even if they were actually crazy enough to try and take you to court about it, the judge would agree with you garunteed! It is not like you are trying to take there grandchild away, you are just pointing out that you are mom and grandma thinks she is and it is confusing to YOUR child. Don't ever let ANYONE come between you and your child, not the grandparents or your husband. If the situation does not change I would honestly start thinking about pakcing up your things because that might just be
the reaction your husband needs to see before he actually starts stepping up to the plate. Tell him your sick of it and you will leave him if the situation does not change~!

Answer 5

You need to put your foot down! This is ridiculous, your husband needs to grow up and have a fine chat with his parents. You are his Wife and that is more important than his parents. I would insist on moving ASAP. Don't let this woman walk all over you. You are your babies mother and you have more rights than anyone when it comes to choosing how it is raised. If you stay in this situation the baby is going to grow up with a lack of respect for you. He will see you being underminded in every situation and do the same. Get out of that now!

Answer 6

The main thing is how your husband behaves. A good man will stick up for his wife ahead of even his parents. If he lets them call the shots, it will probably continue and get worse. You can try sticking up for yourself, but if he doesn't back you, it will be very hard.

There are no grandparent's rights, from a legal standpoint. If you split up, custody of a child would be between the two of you, not a 3 way deal. The same is true for visitation rights.

Answer 7

First of all they are his parents not yours you do not have to deal with these people if you do not want to, please remember that you married their son not them.As for the baby you tell the mother that he is yours and she has to respect your wishes or you do not mind going to court because a judge can not force you to allow them visitation,and the husband better not every comment on the baby because as far as he is concern you were not good enough to have kids. to make a long story short 8888 them and if your husband doesn't understand then you guys need to get some kind of counseling to help him break away from his parents.

Answer 8

I'd put my foot down and not let those vipers influence my kid. I'd rather pay for a babysitter than let them put poisonous ideas about me into my kid's head. Consider moving or at least changing your locks so they can't just walk in whenever. If your husband objects to these changes, then it's time to decide if you want a guy who undermines you this way. He doesn't have to stand up to his parents but he cannot interfere when you stand up for yourself.

Let them go ahead and sue you for custodial rights, it's going to make them look ridiculous in court. Also, if the grandmother wants to visit, the visits need to be supervised by you.

Answer 9

well, to start off, your husband doesn't seem much of a man. he obviously listen to his parents more than his own wife. you and your husband should consider moving. you don't have to live across from your in-laws, just move. you don't want things to get worst. i've seen a lot of your story. it's better to get away from your in-law. b/c at the end the couple never seems to be happy with each other.

Answer 10

.i had a meddling mother in-law plus grand mother in-law. you have got to put your foot down.that's your baby ,tell her she will not see the baby at all if she keeps it up.tell your husband the same thing. do something now because if you ever try to get a divorce you will have a huge fight on your hands.in my case we finally got divorced no crap i am very happy.the lady hes got now is treated the same way.as for grandparents rights the parent rights always come first.unless they are unfit.

Answer 11

I would tell her to quit comming in your house. Your husband can let the kids see her maybe one day a week or so. But make it to wear you dont have to see them.