I have a funny (but expensive) question about wife's sex toy/gift?

Question

I bought a silicone dildo (safe, non-latex) on-line. It wasn't cheap but I know my wife could use silicone instead of other materials that make her itch. HOWEVER, this morning I get the UPS package, take out the box and HAHAHAHAAH... the thing is freakin' huge. Two inches around. Like a baby's arm. Do I send it back (they allow that if original package was unopened -- it is transparent) and get my money back, or do I show it to my wife who may one, get turned on... two, laugh... or three, get grossed out and wonder why she married such a sicko. Help

I took your advice gals and showed it to her last night. The reaction was mixed between bewilderment, mild disgust and amusement. Needless to say, UPS is picking up a package at our home today.

Answer 1

Are you nuts???

Do you realize that if she uses that thing… that you will feel small in comparison…
Send it back and don’t ever offer something as ridiculous as that again.

What are guys thinking these days???

EDIT –
Now you have to face her… knowing that you offered her something as impersonal, impractical and dismissive (yes dismissive), because she will always wonder what the hell you were thinking when you offered her that “Baby’s arm” of a self serving sex toy.

Thoughts of –
1) Did he expect me to use that on myself?
2) Does he expect me to use that on him?
3) Does he want me to use it and leave him alone?
4) Does he care if I use it alone?
5) Is he feeling inadequate?

I told you it was a bad idea and to send it back. Thanks fellas for all the thumbs down, lol. Next time take it slow, start with a small virbrator (glove type if you can find one) and then move on up to Monster c ock... if that's what you want... then she she wont need you.

Good luck fixing this relationship problem...

Answer 2

Do this - 1. Do a periodical stuff like helping her at home, get flowers weekly, take her for dinner twice in month .. plan all this within your budget and make sure .. You have records so when she gets suspicious, you can sit and easily convince. If you want your secret life to not affect, don't go for extra-marital affair which involves emotions ... just pay for sex, those chicks are better than anybody, any day.

Answer 3

Dude you have to give it to her for no other reason than to tell us about it in another post. I think she will like it but you may never be able to satisfy her ever again. then again she might have been there and done that you might find out that she is a closet glory hog and the bigger the better I say shoot the moon and hell you might get really lucky and she will use it on you to massage that prostate well I mean if you into that stuff???

Answer 4

Trust me when I say this, your wife wont be grossed out or offended if anything she might question why you bought it but thats it. I took my wife to a sex shop and bought her a dildo once (well let her choose) and she picked what I thought was the biggest one there and she loves it. She still says nothing compares to mine but I love to watch her use it and take it all when she does. Go for it. You kids have fun.

Answer 5

check this out- show it to her- let her be the deciding factor - you may just laugh about it- use it or ship it back- let her decide. Remember 2" is nothing considering the size of baby's head.

Answer 6

Now thats some funny sh it! Let her make the decision, just preface it saying it was much larger than you expected. She may love it!!

Answer 7

lol...you know her best if you think she will get a laugh out of it, show her. She may surprise you and want to try it anyway!! Good Luck to you!

Answer 8

Let her see it, she may like it.

Next time buy her the blue dolphin. She'll love it.

Answer 9

unless you are bigger than the dildo i will return it asap. you dont want to have an experience similar to throwing a banana down a well

Answer 10

no harm in showing it to her, if she doesnt like it you can refund it, and maybe include her in the shopping for it, might be fun :)