Can I trust my wife and her colleagues?

Question

I'm totally confused about what to make of my wife's relationship with some of her coworkers. I really trust her completely, but don't trust her coworkers at all. My wife is gorgeous and she's also extremely friendly and smart. There have been three or four occasions over the past year when she'd be telling me about a guy who she'd become friends with. She mentioned one guy had been putting some pressure on her to go out to office-party type things because he wanted to get to know her better. I asked her why he couldn't get to know her in the office. She said I was overreacting. Another guy started asking her to go jogging with him, she never went. Still he gives her apples every day, which she takes. He also tries to impress her by writing her some emails.

She continually reassures me and always tells me how much she loves me. I trust her completely, but I just can't settle my mind about why she gets all this attention all the time unless she's somehow sending signals to them... It also seems so disrespectful of her to not be more upfront with these guys to the point where they won't try anything. This sort of thing happens when guys think they have a chance and act on it. Some guys are just real ladiesmen and can impress any woman. I hate knowing that they see her as a potential, and I hate knowing she somehow lets them see it that way.

And now, in her new job, she's been telling me about her new manager, a 31 year old guy (she's 25), handsome, successful, single, cocky. She'll be working in the same ofice as he, and she stays late regularly and she travels with him together across town. Now I really wonder about what sort of working relationship they have...

Answer 1

Forgive me if I shy away from answering this one. Will "No comment" do?

Answer 2

What's the point of having a beautiful wife if nobody else wants her? She knows exactly what she's doing friend. She's good at it. Without it she probably wouldn't be employed at all.
I know it's hard watching filthy pigs oogle your woman. But you won the prize. Let her eat their apples. They're the fools.
They want something they can't have but they'll give everything they've got if she works 'em just right. Don't blame her. Women do this semi-consciously, that is they are semi aware of they're actions but they have no explanation as to why they behave like that. You might try exerting your inner Tarzan, develop yourself an intimidating aire about yourself. Take longer strides while you walk in to carry her lunch. Stick your chest out and make the monkey's doubt their own perceived dominance. Ignoring others to set a direct path of focus on your wife will show her that she is your focus. This , for some strange reason, builds some sort of invisible territorial marker around her. Beat your chest Kong. It'll totally turn her on.

Answer 3

Mr. handsome 31 year old boss will have to score with your wife. She's at the top of his "To Do" list. At some point in time, at some place, there will be a weak moment and your wife will succumb to her cocky, handsome boss. They both have held their sexual desires for each other inside too long. They'll lose all self control and go at each other like two wild animals. He's probably hung like a horse. When it's over, they'll both be totally exhausted, satisfied and amazed at how great the sponatneous sex was.

Answer 4

Leave her be, if these were ladies she was hanging out with, bringing her apples, or potentially being a jogging partner you'd be fine. These guys were probably initially attracted to your wife because she is beautiful, men like beautiful woman, but AFTER they knew she was married they've stuck around, why? Well you could assume that she is a massive flirt who is flinging out all sorts of curious signs of availability . . bending over just a little further to grab That pencil she dropped. . . blowing kisses . . making statement like "is it hot in here or is just . . you?" . . . the whole nine yards, or we can take a more rational approach and think hey, not only is she attractive but she is also funny and nice and smart and just an over all amazing person of course people would want to be near her and bring her things and be a part of her world because she makes their day better. That is the problem with having an amazing woman in your life . . it could make you an insecure person, you don't want that. Trust her, like she trusts herself and over her like she loves you.

Answer 5

If your wife talks with you about the men in her office who flirt, or ask her to do something, she's just sharing, i'd think... and from what you've written she has not made an effort to do things with other men.

Most of us have partners who work out in the world and are exposed to a lot of different people every day. That doesn't mean we are going to be unfaithful, or act on impulse.

Hopefully, her new boss respects the fact that she has a married life outside of work, and leaves it at that.

If you are having issues with this, and can't shake them, perhaps talk with your wife and let her know how you're feeling. she doesn't know what you're thinking unless you tell her.

take care.

Answer 6

You say you trust her completely, but everything else in your question says that you don't trust her at all. Your wife is obviously attracting quite a few men. She may be too nice to them which sends them the wrong message that she is in some way available. I'd be concerned with this new manager if they are alone together; things tend to happen. You have every reason to worry if he is interested in her. She may be too friendly for her own good.

Answer 7

It sounds like you don't trust your wife because of her actions. She definately feels comfortable with their flirting. YOu need to talk to her about her actions. She is the problem. Not them. There will always be someone who has the hots for your wife, no matter where you go. Its up to your wife to behave like a wife. You should be taking her out to lunch, making your presence known a little more.Whether you can trust her collegues is not the issue here. You didn't marry her collegues, you married her. Sounds like she is not respecting you too much, so why should they? A man will only go as far as the woman will let him.

Answer 8

i think your right that your wife should tell them to back off. not be concided or anything but i get a lot of attention from my customers at work, but i always let them now that i have a bf and that i expect them to respect me. and it always works. i'm sorry to say but it sounds like your wife might not really take your relationship serious. let her know how her actions are hurting you and put an end to the problem. if she doesn't understand try doing the same to show her how wierd it all is.

Answer 9

The only thing you can do is trust her. But you might mention to her that you would like her to fend off these advances. It's up to her to do that - you can't be around to do it for her. The guy who wanted to get to know her better: the answer is 'I'm married and you're single. You don't need to get to know me better..'
If she can't handle herself in close proximity to single men, then she's going to blame them for whatever happens. But the bottom line is that she knows how to handle herself and she can when she wants to!

Answer 10

Your wife is the one that you have to trust, not the men working with her. Stop being so suspicious and keep her so happy with her homelife that she won't even think of straying. If you're good to her, she won't be interested in what they're advertising. If you're suspicious and jealous, then they'll look better.

Answer 11

You should take it as a compliment that ur wife gets attention you're the one she comes home to. If she loves you and is trustworthy you have nothing to worry about.