My mother is ill and she constantly snaps at me and is very rude to me. I am an adult and live with her at the present time along with my daughter.
She can be very sarcastic and then act nice in a fake, insecure way also.
I don't know how to deal with her except for ignoring her and not internalizing her treatment of me. I just try to tell myself its her problem not mine.
How do I not internalize her treament of me?
2007-08-02 08:14:04 · 5 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You said it yourself, she's insecure. Which means you're right about saying it's her problem not yours, but it can become your problem depending on the age of your daughter and how this maladaptive relationship is affecting her.
If this behavior is having a negative affect on your daughter you may need to have a conversation with your mother about her behavior. Sickness can cause people to be cranky but only to a point.
2007-08-02 08:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by magica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignoring her may not be your best solution, however, avoiding her may be. Why not try to plan some cheap activities with your daughter that will get you away from the house and her. Try to spend as much time away as possible. Internalizing is NEVER GOOD- as we communicate with each other (you and I) you know I have suggested to you to try different things(some of them perhaps have worked)- we spoke about stepping up to the plate- again- its time- step-up. Insecure and sarcastic mannerisms need to be addressed- immediately. Tell her the next time it happens- I am an adult- I am not going to disrespect you, However, I deserve the same respect that I give you- illness and cranky is no;t an option any more- why cannot you be a bit nicer!!!!By taking this tactic then you IN essence have removed the feelings of inadequacy and replaced it with some (so deserving) self -respect. You have placed ALL the spite back into your Mothers sphere. Step up to that plate and do not internalize. Never internalize it leads to major health problems. Hope it helps- and your life becomes stress free.
2007-08-02 16:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by sylviavnpttn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay for one the key word is number 1 my mother # 2 ill??
i work with sick people eveyday and also took care of my mother and grandparents in hospice care at home. i worked with old people young people that are in terminal conditions and you know something if my mom grandma grandpa had a snappy moment i knew it was not personal hell they are suffering i know some are diffrent then others i was blessed because my grand parents especially were wonerful and it was worth the two years of putting my life on hold to care for them be patient it's there way of fighting the fact her time is running out
2007-08-02 15:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by PAULINA S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you gotta just be careful eventualy your daughter will start acting like your mother. at this point i say just move out stuggle without her crizisim and judgement she has a problem let her deal with it you dont have to!!
2007-08-02 17:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"It's her problem, not mine."
That's a start.
There are more symptoms than the typical when it comes to illness. It takes practice to see everything as a symptom or a coping mechanism, but that's exactly what you have to keep in mind.
2007-08-02 15:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋