when people say, a boyfriend that hits u " is not love" what does that mean? than why does he stay w me?

Question

if he doesnt love me. im sorry but i dont understand. why wouldnt he find another girl he wouldnt hit that he loved then?

IF ITS NOT LOVE THEN WHAT IS IT? AND WHY DOES HE DO IT?

Answer 1

he thinks he owns you and he won't leave cuz it'll hurt his "male pride" girl you better or he'll kill you wish you the best

Answer 2

Hitting and hurting people is not an expression of love. It is an expression of anger, disdain, control, and meanness. It will only get worse. While he may say he "loves" you, true love does not use pain to show it. He stays with you, (and when he is not angry, may indeed have feelings for you), but stays with you because you allow him to hurt you. When he is done with you, or you decide you have had enough abuse and break away from him, he will find another woman he can hurt. The reason he doesn't find a woman he can't hit is because those women won't put up with it. Sweetie, get some help from a domestic violence councilor. Learn why YOU think this is acceptable. Be brave, his love isn't worth the bruises.

Answer 3

There could be many reasons. Maybe he has anger or controlling his emotional outburts problems, that case he would need help.

But likely, h does not understand deep love or has the wrong attitud fot things.

I don´t know you, but this situation isn´t right. If he is beating you hardly, please consider leaving.

He might think he owns you.
Or he might be uncaring.
Or there might be other reasons.
Of cource there might be good things also in your relationship, but that doesn´t give a reason for those deeds.

A person can stay in arelationship for many many reasons, for he might get somthing from it, caring, physical closeness, or itś comfertable or even he is in love. He can also love you in some sort of way, but you have to know, that deep love doesnt include these thing, as physical abuse.

There might be a way this things solve, but if it potentially dangerous to you, please leave.
Value yourself, and your future children. A man doesn´t deserve your love and taking care of him, if he even have´t commited himself to you by marriage. Think, what urges to commit when he has it all already?! Of cource i don´t suggest you marry straight on if he abuses you. Things need to change, talk to him about it, and stay with your family or by yourslf or other friends till then, if possible. Get spiritual guidance from churce, it can change your life!

All the best and bless!
Don´t worry, you will come through!

If you wish, contact me via e-mail through my profile.

Answer 4

The fun has just begun. It will never get better. He does not love you...period. You just allow him to abuse you so you are an enabler. He will keep hitting you until you are hospitalized or dead. It is apparent that you have little in the knowledge of understanding since this is Home and Garden.

Answer 5

He stays with you cause you do for him. Or he'll hit you if you don't.

He'll hit her, if he hit you. Guarantee ya.

If, by some reason, he goes into therapy, re-molds his life. He learns and grows and completely changes his life and lifestyle, (Which will take a couple of years and without ANY new girlfriend) It would be a blessing.

DONT HAVE THIS GUYS BABIES!!! if you already have, you OWE your kids to get them AWAY from him. You also OWE YOURSELF to get away from him.

Answer 6

I think the question should be is " why do you stay with him?" Obviously, he stays with you because you allow him to treat you that way. Truth is...you need to leave him! He doesnt love you, and you dont love him. you may love the idea that it is real. But no one likes to be abused, and who loves someone that abuses them??

Answer 7

Usually people are abusive because of power and control issues... In my opinion it's not about whether he loves you or not. It's about whether or not you are willing to tolerate abuse from anyone. Let's say he does love you. The question should be why do you want that kind of love?

Answer 8

I Be in the trap is an easier way to look at it. A trap is not a trap house. A trap is her Hood. A trap house is where drugs are sold. I have no idea where some people got their answers but I can assure you that 95% of them are way off.

Answer 9

Because he wants to control you. He probably thinks he loves you but he really doesn't. Either way if he does or not it is not right to be treated that way and you deserve better and need to get out of the relationship ASAP.

Answer 10

Let me explain something to you. Abusive men have a very very big psychological disorder. It could be something in their actual genetic pattern or.... as is often the case..... a learned behaviour, where they have themselves grown up in an abusive home. The father may have been physically abusive to the boy, or the boy may have grown up watching his violent father physically abusing his mother.

One way or another this kind of man has this disorder where he feels a need to find somebody he can dominate. Maybe he just feels that he's inferior, and he has to try and make himself feel "bigger" "more of a man" that way. This kind of guy obviously isn't going to try throwing his weight around with other men because he knows damn well sooner or later he's going to get the livin daylights pounded out of him, and these guys are cowards under the skin, They only beat up on somebody who isn't strong enough to fight back.

These men have to find a woman who is meek and mild enough to allow the guy to treat them in this way. Often the relationship starts off fairly well, and the woman sees him paying her a lot of attention and being just a little bit possessive, and she thinks it means the guy reeeeeally is hooked on her and wants to be with her. But as the time goes on and he begins to feel that the woman has fallen for him and he has her well and truly hooked, that's when he begins gradually to show his true colors. Before she knows it, the physical and mental abuse is well established. But what keeps her hooked is that after he has been pounding on her, he'll suddenly start crying and apologizing and telling her how sorry he is. Unfortunately the longer the woman keeps right on in the relationship, the more she slowly loses her ability to think for herself. These guys can even persuade their woman that it was actually HER fault he flew off the handle and went to smacking her around. SHE "got on his nerves" SHE was "pushing his buttons" Oh, they're very good at it.

But the one thing this kind of relationship is NOT about with these men, is love. These men really don't even have much of an understanding about love. They only know what they need, and what they need is a submissive "thumping bag" who isn't going to fight back. They are so desperate to keep ahold of her that they may threaten her "If you ever try to leave me, I'll find you. I'll kill you. I'll kill your family members... etc. etc. etc.
No, it's never about love. It's about their own inferiority complex and they will do whatever they feel they have to do to bolster their own weak egos. Your guy stays with you for one reason only...... because you allow this behaviour and put up with it. If you yourself think that's the best you deserve, you won't be disappointed because that's the best you will ever have with this guy. But it's one thing to be willing to allow yourself to be somebody's punching bag. That is your free choice. But if you ever have a child with this scumbag, the game changes. Now you become an unfit mother who is raising a child in an abusive environment, and potentially putting that child at risk, if not physically, very definitely emotionally and psychologically.

The only right thing for any woman to do once she realises she is stuck in a relationship with an abusive man, is to get help and get out. I suggest that is what you do before you reach a point where something happens that cannot be reversed. I had a close family member who refused to listen to those who tried to warn her. She's dead now. After several years of increasing abuse, he shot and killed her in front of their two small children, and then turned the gun on himself... like the miserable coward these men always are.

Answer 11

it amazes me why women stay for years with a partner that hits them sometimes their whole lives there is a better life than that dont try to change him change your partner instead