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we argue about anything and everything what he has done hasn't done needs to do but doesn't do and i'm at my wits end

2007-08-02 08:13:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

17 answers

Thats what happens when you marry too damn young.

2007-08-02 08:17:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

What are your ground rules for when you argue? ie: No insulting, stick to the topic, nothing over 10 days can be brought up as it's in the past, etc.

Is there a no fighting curfew past 8pm? Is there an hour where one spouse can talk and the other just listens for 30 mins then they reverse?

What is your mechanism to make sure each one of you is heard and your partner is actually listening?

I suspect you don't have either. You need to calmly sit down and work out at some of your ground rules and then stick to them. You might find your sanity start to return and you both feeling less combative.

2007-08-02 08:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0 0

No, it sounds like you need some good quality time together. Time well spent with out any of the normal day to day worries and pressures that can weigh upon a marriage. Plan something you both enjoy and make a real effort to keep from arguing. Remember, you promised to love and to cherish through good times and bad. Those vows are suppose to carry even stronger meaning the long you are married.

2007-08-02 08:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by Snow 6 · 0 0

stop arguing and start asking. quit telling him what he needs to do and start asking him can you do this and when can you get it done? that way he has to take control over his own actions and you have to let him do it on his time table. if he sets his own time table and still doesn't come thru, then he is undermining his own integrity. tell him you can't live like this any more and unless things change, whether it be just him or the both of you, then you don't see this marriage as having a fighting chance. why don't you get some counseling. sounds liike you could use it.

2007-08-02 08:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think that you need to go to counseling with him but it might also be good for the both of you to spend some time apart. My husband and I have had moments where we could barely speak so sometimes he would go play basketball or something. If your problems aren't major maybe you should pick and choose what to argue about.

2007-08-02 08:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

sounds like you are at the point where you're just pointing fingers which solves nothing! Get some counseling so you can get your point across without a screaming match. When you argue nobody listens. You need a neutral person there to help hash out the issues. Trust me I know!

2007-08-02 08:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Meichelle 3 · 0 0

No, you need counseling.

Time apart just delays what needs to be fixed, and slows down the mending process.

Work together on finding someone who can help you with your communication.

And why are you just arguing about him, and what he needs to do, did, or hasn't done? Where do you stand in all of this? It takes to to tango, and it takes two to fight. Look at yourself and how you could do and or handle things better, too. Don't just lay it all out on his shoulders.

2007-08-02 08:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by jt 3 · 1 0

Sound slike you just need to back off. If he's not doing something in 'your time' maybe you need to ask him what he thinks is a reasonable amount of time to accomplish something.
Definitely seek counseling so you can learn how to talk to each other. Time apart at this point probably won't help things. You need to get to the point where you remember what made you fall in love in the first place.
COUNSELING

2007-08-02 08:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0 1

feels like an extremely controlling husband and your son is transforming into as much as be basically like him. seems to be enjoyed ones abuse (verbal) to me and you're suffering melancholy by using fact you have been putting up with this behaviour for too long, that's undermining your self self belief. i'd opt for to signify you seek for some counselling from a enjoyed ones Violence look after - There you will desire to locate the assist you opt for. a guy to handle his spouse this form is shameful; he threatens you with removing your baby, saying you're suffering manic melancholy, won't provide help to pass out once you opt for, controlling, i does no longer be stunned if he controls all of the enjoyed ones funds too, etc. Please get the advice and help from a sort of shelters - you will locate which you're no longer on my own and build a extra appropriate existence for your self. good success.

2016-10-01 06:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by kottwitz 4 · 0 0

"WE" argue? Or you "nag" to the point of argument? By the way you wrote your question, you seem to think he is the only problem here, and that he can't do anything "right".

The two of you need to get into marriage counseling to learn ways of communicating.

2007-08-02 08:18:11 · answer #10 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0 2

You may need some space but you may also need some counseling. Sounds like he is bottling up alot of stuff and you may be as well.

2007-08-02 08:17:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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