Is he playing me for a fool?

Question

my boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years, before that we were together for 4 years. I caught him cheating in february with a girl he works with she'd sent him a text message saying "I love you". He confessed. I chose to forgive and forget, he cried and told me he was sorry. in april, he left me, he didn't give a specific reason just that he was unsure about our future together. a week later he came back. I took him back and we worked on our problems. last week, he seemed a little distant I confronted him and asked him why he seemed so distant, he said it was problems at work. I asked him if he still loved me,he said yes, and that was the end of it. the next day I went to the doctor He seemed a little upset at the fact, but I thought nothing of it. On my way to the doctor's office, he called me and told me to go to my mother's house after the doctor's office because he was moving out again! It's been almost a week, and I've gotten two text messages from him. One asking if I was alright, and another saying "hold on to hope because i am not done with you love me". Yet he has not called, nor has he answered any of my calls or text messages. I feel like he might be spending time with the girl he cheated on me with (who by the way has a boyfriend). I don't know what to do in this case, or what to think. What should I think? What should I do?

Answer 1

sweetie you have a life to live and it seems to me he keeps putting you on hold to dip into other ideas of a life i.e. other women... from his point of view him leaving you to cheat is better than being with you while cheating and may be justifing his actions based on that.... "well at least were broke up so it's not cheating" Get my drift??? He probley does really care for you but is not ready to settle and wants to play the field... So my best advice is to not take him back next time and play the field yourself for a bit... and he won't expect that... then maybe someday soon he'll wake up and be ready... but don't wait and worry yourself to death.... START DATING NOW AND THATS AN ORDER!!!!!!

Answer 2

Whether is issues are genuine or he's dogging you, it all depends on how much you are willing to deal with. Honestly, it sounds to me like he really doesn't have a clue what he wants and has some serious issues. If that's the case, you can't fix it for him and you shouldn't spend the next million years trying. If it were me, I would break it off completely, tell him that I'm there for him as a friend but nothing more. Tell him he needs to get his act together and maybe some day down the road things will be different but not now. If you find someone great in the meantime then great, if not then at least you didn't let someone consume your time and your life. He is obviously not what you need to have a happy existence with another person.

Answer 3

By you always forgiving him and taking him back so easily, you have taught him that it is alright to cheat. You should have made a strong statement & dropped a bomb the first time he cheated and you should have not forgiven him so easily. He now has learned that if he cheats you will forgive and forget, and the results is that he has come to be sure of you, so sure that he does not fear leaving you as he knows you will take him back. This in itself indicates a growing lack of respect within him for you. You either stop being a pushover and show him you will no longer accept this type of behaviour or accept it. I hope you do what is right for you.

Answer 4

You've been with him for a long time now. From the sounds of it he doesn't sound like he's in the relationship 100%. He seems really flaky and if it were me I wouldn't want to be in the relationship. If a guy can't give it his all then what's the point? If you feel confused he is probably confused as well, especially since he leaves and comes back continually. I dated someone for 7 years off and on. I was in love with him for a long time and never understood why he couldn't commit to only me. It was because he wasn't in it 100%. I'm glad I came to my senses. It's possible that you're giving him what this other girl can't give him. If you're right about this other girl having a boyfriend then I would be correct in my assumption. If she's taken and he's in love with her he most likely is going to keep trying to get with her. If you want him and he knows that he'll use it to his advantage. Since he isn't in the relationship with you 100% he'll keep trying to go to her but every time it's a hit and miss he'll come running back to you for comfort.

Answer 5

It seems like to me that he is cheating. He didn't want you to go to the doctor because he might have thought he gave you something. If you can forgive him and want to have a future with him that is your decision. You are getting red flags into the type of man that he is. He obviously isn't thinking of you. If he was he would call you or something.

Answer 6

man that is crazy- i wouldnt even put up with that and then for him to text u and say "hold on to hope because i am not done with you love me" what does he think u r his *****.
Okay lol im restraining myself. But this dude does not care about ur feelings obviously. I think he is insecure with himself and isnt ready for commitment. He probably dosnt know what he wants in life. If I was u I wouldnt be wasting my time- I b out there partying and meeting new sexier men. make a stand for all woman out there and take urself out of a situation. He is mentally abusing u with these games. you have the right to think of whatever and its your choice to do whatever. But dont allow anyone to use u or treat u like your on the sidelines. Because u shouldnt be the side girl you should be HIS girl if he really loved u.

Answer 7

I would be raging upset and angry with him if I were you. Here is what any lady should do in this case: IGNORE HIM. Treat him like the dust under your shoes. TRULY. You are certainly a nice woman and you deserve respect and honor from a man. If he wishes to play thing out as if he is living in a soap opera world, then so be it - just let that be without you! Ladies, we are too smart and too beautiful to allow ourselves to be wasted on boys who never want to grow up. Stand up for yourself. Show yourself some dignity. I wish you only the very best in life.

Answer 8

You keep taking him back no matter what he does or how many times he does it. It seems obvious he can not or does not want to commit to you. No one can play you for a fool. Only you have this power. Don't you think it is time you move on to someone who wants the same as you? You should get some therapy to see why you let people walk all over you, again and again.

Answer 9

Sounds like he needs to grow up and he isnt sure that he loves u or anyone else for that matter, i also think he is seeing whoever he started up with in feburary. if he was really sincere about starting new with u he would of quit his job and changed his cell phone number. but since he didnt do that he is stringing u along. I dont like to tell anyone to leave someone and divorce but i see this as your only option as he is not dependable and not faithful. i am sorry to see u go thru this but u will be better off in the future. god bless u and keep your spirit up...

Answer 10

Yes, he is. If he can't decide what he wants, you need to do it for him. Walk away, don't look back. If he cheated once, he will again, they aways do. He knows he can get away with it and obviously thinks you're too stupid to catch on. There are some great guys out there waiting for you, don't waste anymore time with this one. Go find a guy who WANTS YOU and is willing to show it. Good luck!