My Boss is married with kids and we go to the same church. Anyway I remeber about two years ago he was saying how he used to be gay and now he's cured or whatever. Now I work with the guy and I don't think he knows that I know him from back then because I swear he flirts with me and keeps asking me out for drinks. It's just wierd. He never mentions his wife around me or church stuff and he always wants one on one meetings about sales in his office. He occassionally buys me coffee and now it's just wierd. He's a cool guy, I don't want to get him fired or anything but if I confront him he;ll say he isn't flirting and I'll get canned. What do I do?
2007-08-02 05:29:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, God, Lando!
2007-08-02 07:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by This Is Radio Clash 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there's more to the story than what you've shared here, your boss has not done anything that would be considered harrassment. There's no harm in him wanting one-on-one sales meetings or buying you coffee. His asking you out for drinks is not necessarily out-of-the ordinary, either.
If he starts touching you inappropriately, asks for sexual favors, or implies that your future advancements - either in salary or position - are a condition of complying with his sexual requests THEN he is violating the law.
It sounds like he's being friendly and trying to create a "fun" work atmosphere. It very well could be that your past knowledge of him is coloring the way you're seeing the situation.
If you're concerned, go to your HR department and discuss it with someone.
2007-08-02 05:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by behrmark 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he says these things, and say that while you appreciate the offer, you'd like to keep the relationship professional. If he continues, that's when you start documenting things and go to human resources. They can not fire you for reporting sexual harassment. No company is going to do that unless they want a huge lawsuit. Frankly though, I haven't heard anything wrong with what he's doing. Does it make you uncomfortable only because he "used to be" gay? Would it make you uncomfortable coming from anyone else?
2007-08-02 05:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like your boss has been "cured" from Homosexuality, if he keeps flirting with you and asking you to go out for a drink. He might of married a woman because he is in denial of his Homosexuality, { Gays can be Homophobic too} or he is trying to closet his Homosexuality by marrying a woman .
2007-08-02 05:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by NancyB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you are uncomfortable with him buying you coffee and asking you out for drinks. If situation persists, contact HR. Sounds to me like he is in the closet and desperate for a way out but that's a separate discussion. Focus on letting him know you are uncomfortable with some the advances that he has made and explain to him why. Have specific examples to bring to him and why you feel this way. If it doesn't work, then bring it up to HR. Good luck!
2007-08-02 05:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tom W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn down the free coffee and avoid situations where it's one on one. And he definitely isn't "cured," whatever that means.
If he doesn't take the hint, you may either want to consider filing a grievance or finding other employment. Drastic, but sometimes necessary.
2007-08-02 05:45:26 · answer #6 · answered by Clint 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to act normal and platonic towards him. Do not entertain any sort of romantic or sexual advances he may make. The fact that he once claimed to be "cured" of being gay not only worries me, but tells me that if you were to confront him about this; he would surely deny it. No one can "cure" themselves of their sexuality. He is likely suppressing it through religion. Which means he's probably ignoring his own actions since he's so blindly against being what he is.
2007-08-02 05:34:09 · answer #7 · answered by Mystery Lady H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it, take the free coffee and drinks, shut up and be happy.
But if it really does make you feel uncomfortable you need to tell him, you don't have to tell him you think he is gay, just say some of the things he does for you make you uncomfortable. Good Luck!
2007-08-02 05:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work into the conversations about how you love and appreciate women, mention girlfriends and dating-he'll soon get the message that you are straight and not interested in anything but females.
2007-08-02 05:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really uncomfortable, tell him to knock it off. If it keeps going or he take it as an accusation and retaliates for it, there are sexual harassment laws for the former, and retaliation laws for the latter. Talk to your HR rep first, and if neccessary, your union rep, then a lawer.
2007-08-02 05:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by greenmage01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask for a raise
2007-08-02 05:34:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋