I'm a 27 year old white male. I came out ot my girlfriend as Bi-sexual(kinda feel I'm between Bi and gay) about 2 and a half weeks ago. Its been hell, I mean I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks now. Which is understanable and prolly for the better. Were broken up for sure.
I did however tell a friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time. He was shocked and it made him uncomfortable(he's kinda religious) but he took it great. I badly want to tell my best friend but he's the type that doesn't take hints very well and you have to spell it out in plain english or he doesn't get it.
I know its soon but I feel scrared but ok enough to tell my friends. My familys gonna take a long time and some of them maybe never.
2007-08-02 05:19:22 · 13 answers · asked by BS and thats no BS 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Do you really think anyone else is interested in whom you choose to have sex with?
These are personal matters and should be kept personal. Why do you think other people have the need to know what you do behind closed doors?
2007-08-02 05:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you are going through is a normal process. We are all afraid of rejection and many of us have been where you are. If they are true friends, then they would care for you no matter if you are gay or straight. You are still the same person before coming out.
Sounds like you may be going through a lot right now. The best thing to do may be takeing it easy, do some research for some local gay/lesbian centers to see if they have groups for people who are newly out. Hopefully you can make some new friends in the process!
Good luck! Let me know if you need some resources. I may be able to point to a few centers and or contacts.
2007-08-02 05:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by Tom W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Honda. Glad to see things are progressing for you. Dont feel bad about whats gone down so far....it's not just you....this is a very nerve-wracking anxious time for you. I remember it all too well. But, trust me, once you get to the other side, you will look back and realize all of this was soooo worth it.
You biggest step so far was telling your serious gf. That took a tremendous amount of courage. I dont think it odd that she has not called in a couple weeks. Im sure this was very tough for her, but I also bet she is grateful you told her instead of waiting until you been married for 5 years and have a kid. Give her some time. Maybe, if you dont hear from her for a while more, just call and check in with her and see how she is doing. But, as you probably know, there might be some anger involved.
As for telling your friend. Another good step. Even though he is religious, he took it very well it sounds. That should be a good indicator for you. I think most people when they find out someone close to them is gay, they tend to take it well and are supportive. Doesn't mean all will, but I really do think most people when it involves someone close to them, they will be supportive.
I think you need to tell your best friend. Afterall, this is your BEST friend. You should have faith in that friendship and your friend. So, you have to spell it out to him....sit him down and just tell him. I know when I told my couple best friends the first thing they said was, "why did you wait so long to tell us??".
Your fam. That's something only you really can answer as far as when and how to tell or which of them to tell. But, again, I know it's scary, but, at some point you have to have faith in the person and the relationship and also realize that there is no good reason for you to have to hide your life and lie about who you are......especially to your own family!!!
I think I told you before, take it slow. Dont go too fast. Take a step and then relax for a bit. I know for me, this was an exhausting process, emotionally and physically. So, pace yourself, my friend. Take 'er at your pace, not anyone else's.
Good luck!! :)
2007-08-02 08:16:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww...pookie, this sucks doesn't it. This was one the hardest times of my life....and the most exciting and liberating.
So let's look at it this way. Who are you sleeping with that you're afraid of telling (besides your girlfriend)? Because really, that's the only people it should matter to, and if it matters to the rest, then they shouldn't be your friends.
Now, we can't choose our family, but we CAN choose which of them to acknowledge. It was hard to lose family members, but I did. Some of them came back after realizing how silly they were being, some of them didn't. Be strong, be honest - you will feel SO MUCH BETTER!
Good luck! XOXO
2007-08-02 05:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by gochefs (Geo) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you tell your girlfriend you are bi because you want to exercise the gay side for a while. are you truly Bi or are you just completely gay. .
That is the question you have to answer to a certanty before telling your family because they really dont want or need the roller coaster ride that will be your love life. wait and see whom and what you settle down with and then tell people.
if you say one thing then meet someone and flipflop, they will just think you are too flaky to take seriously ever again and you will be branded for life
2007-08-05 19:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way as jello bcause its nobodys business who youre sleeping with but the ones ur sleeping with. Do all str8 ppl come out and say "i'm str8" just out of the blue? Sorry but they dont i myself just hang with who i choose(gay, str8, bi). As for the gf thing i would of just distanced myself from her until a point came to where i just had to tell her bcause everyone doesnt except being bi/gay as u see. I have a habit of learning ppl b4 i open up to them bcause of how some ppl react to ppl with different sexual orientations. Sometimes being too honest isnt a good thing! and choices we choose today we'll have to deal with tomorrow....becareful.
2007-08-02 06:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by Dee M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's unfortunate that you may lose people over this, and have possibly already lost someone. Keep your head high though, you'll feel a lot better when you don't have to hold something as big as this inside. I hope things go well for you, no one deserves to be deserted for being who they are.
2007-08-02 05:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mystery Lady H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with it. You may lose a few friends but hey, with time that happens anyway. What you will gain is self confidence and it all gets easier in time.
2007-08-02 05:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you.Its not easy but is the best thing to do.holding such a secret is too heavy a burden and will free you in the long run
2007-08-02 05:24:23 · answer #9 · answered by woodsonhannon53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, many people judge you by your sexual preferences instead of the person that you are. Good luck
2007-08-02 05:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by trivia buff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋