Do you treat your pets better than your family?

Question

My husband and kids are always saying that I treat my cats better than them. I don't know what they're actually driving at here. I feed the cats from a plate on the kitchen floor, they only get water to drink. They have to go toilet in a tray or they have to go outside. OK I do let them sleep on the bed but i have never made my husband or the kids sleep on the sofa. I regularly take the family travelling with me but i have never taken the cats anywhere abroad. Thay do get to sit on my knee and I pick them up for a cuddle but I did with the kids when they were small enough (now they'd crush me). Does anyone else get this type of jealousy or can you explain the phenomena?

My husband is not a cat lover. I think he must have been a mouse in a previous life or something. When i got my cat he threatened to divorce me and made an ultimatum. Either the cats went or he would.

Chic - Hmm now let me see. I spend about £5 a week on cat food and litter, occasionally I buy the cats a toy or two or may even screw up an empty crisp bag and let them run around chasing it. My husband eats steak, chicken, we go out to restaurants occasionally. The kids have playstations, computers, nintendos, books, board games, mobile phones, cameras. I take them to the cinema, bowling. But I guess I don't tickle their ears but then they don't purr so what would be the point?

Answer 1

To be honest with you Louise I totally see your point, in your particular case. People ie other family members do get jealous of an unconditional love between (primary) pet owner and pet. It is a little strange and when put on balance (compared to what they receive materially) a little non-sensical! However I often feel a love between an owner and their pet is a pure love. it is not based on anything other than the bond that exists between them. It is unconditional and almost beyond communication. Us humans like to complicate our love, animals don't and that is the great thing. In a way that is the bond that others might see and (too a certain extent) envy. it is not about material things it is just about that investment of time and a part of you to loving that animal.

Answer 2

To be honest, I don't think you are alone. Both my mother and a friend of hers have a lot of trouble with this silly war between family and pets.

When one person in a family loves animals and chooses to have a pet, it does not mean that the rest of the family are going to automatically like animals and accept the pet. From what you are saying, I do feel that you are upset and hurt by this, and the family bond may have deteriorated over the past years.

I think that I can sympathize with your position. At home, my conservatory is inhabited by two budgies, four guinea-pigs, and ten finches. I have heard many times my father complain about the animals being treated better than him. Perhaps your current situation is not as uncommon as you think.

In your question, you did not ask for any suggestions, but there are a number of options you could try in order to help your distressing situation. You could perhaps explain to your family what you have told me in your question, and hopefully they will understand you much better. Like my mother, you could wait until your children are grown up, and move away and live with your cats. I hope these options are not too extreme, but I must confess that this is the only way which you can get through this. Consulting legal advice or seeing a psychiatrist could perhaps help you, but it is up to you to help make your family understand better.

Since these are certainly private family affairs, I will not involve myself too much. I hope that what I say has helped you. For your own sake, you don't deserve to be treated the way you have described.

Answer 3

I treat my pets and my family with the same respect, no matter what. I mean, I get angry at my pets. I get angry at my family. There's no difference between my pet's and family's relationship. I would, actually, count my pets as my family because after all they went through, they remind me nothing but a wonderful family. My sister's and brother's pets are like my family, as well, as it may sound hard to believe, but it's true, no lie. When my sister & brother are off to school, I take care of their 2 parakeets and their snake and I don't mind. To me, the 2 parakeets are like family because they, also, respond to me and when I talk to them, they always nod their heads. I really don't know about my brother's snake, though, because I barely hold it, and never will. But, I see where you're going, sweety. I, sometimes, treat my pets a little more fairly than my brother and sister because I feel, sometimes, that my pets are easier to talk to and play with than my siblings. It may sound crazy from someone who's going into high school, but I don't care. I love them and I do love my siblings, as well. You have a wonderful husband, wonderful kids, and wonderful pets. Either way, they all deserve the same respect, even the cats. Humans or not, cats seem to be like humans and act like them, too. Jealousy is a strong feeling, but sometimes, fairness is the strongest from jealousy because everyone needs it, especially animals in this world. Don't worry. It happens a lot in life, but it's just a stage. Everyone goes through it, ends up in it, and gets out. No worries because eventually, your husband and children will understand that you treat them all with the same respect and will agree with you, sooner or later. :) Good luck!

Answer 4

My pets are part of my family! They get fed and housed in the way most appropriate for their needs. They are loved for what they are whether human or animal! It's never been a problem and any remarks like that are usually said as a joke! I tell my daughter she only wants me to visit her so that she can spend time with MY dog! and Who gets the most attention when my hubby returns home from work? it isn't me!
Unless you really are giving your animals more attention than they need or treat them more like child substitutes than animals, ( which from your comments I'd say you aren't ) lighten up and return their remarks with a joke. Ask your hubby if he'll purr if you tickle his ears? You might be surprised by the answer!

Answer 5

If I had any pets, I may treat them better than at least part of the family. Family knows where the food is and how to use a can opener. If you are too lazy to feed yourself, you deserve to go hungry. Pets are much less capable of handling things for themselves in an indoor environment although house-breaking one is easier than potty training.

Answer 6

My sister got married in Gretna Green a few years back. I didn't go because I wouldn't put my dogs into boarding kennels. She offered to pay the boarding fees but it wasn't the money, I just didn't want to stress my dogs as they were old and hadn't ever been in kennels. I'd say that was putting my animals first before my family. Always have always will.

Answer 7

I don't get what they are saying. I have three cats and they all sleep on my bed at night, I give them hugs and kisses, and I have fed them treats on a plate. Your family eats off plates, you give them hugs and kisses, you don't take your cats with you whereas you take your family with you. I don't see the problem! Pets are supposed to be cuddled. Its not a crime to love cats. No, I don't like my cats more than my family. I love them LIKE family. Theres nothing wrong with what you are doing.

Answer 8

in my view, I even have continually theory that a puppy might desire to be dealt with like a kinfolk member. In our kinfolk, our canines has his very own little corner with a canines mattress, a TON of toys and a pair bones. We supply him a take care of every time he is going exterior to do his enterprise. We determine that, except it somewhat is heat, we permit him in as quickly as he comes back to the door (approximately 3 minutes or so) or a minimum of no better than 5 minutes later. We additionally feed him a minimum of a 5 out of 6 action picture star canines foodstuff. he's authorized to be out of his cage whilst we are long gone and sleeps with us at evening. Our canines is DEFINATELY spoiled.

Answer 9

Pets are not people - instead of trying to see what your family's problem is, maybe you should be looking at yourself. Do you pay more attention to your pets than your husband and kids? Do you spend a lot of money of them? You should take a good look at yourself and determine from there if you need to make a change. I find it hard to believe that your family's so-called jealousy has no root in reality.

Answer 10

No I haven't been blessed with that sort of comment.

My kids all treat the cats as extensions of the family, albeit poor relatives rather like your cats.

In fact I am the only one who refers to one of them as "Little Git" when she shames me by rooting through next doors dustbin.

Maybe you should try " Little Git"ting once in a while to bring balance!