I have a young friend who considers himself "partnered" with a guy who he met one month ago. I'm not being judgmental, just curious as to the consensual opinion in our community. Does being partnered equate to dating? Or am I being old-fashioned?
2007-08-02 04:43:31 · 13 answers · asked by behrmark 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Partnered after one month, I don't know about that. More like mutually exclusive to me. I don't think you are being old fashioned. I suspect this person is just very eager and finds comfort in calling himself partnered. To me that doesn't come until cohabitation is established in most instances.
2007-08-02 04:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
From my understanding, when two gay people are 'partnered', it is the mental equivalent of being married, or otherwise seriously commited. That doesn't mean they had a ceremony, it just means that they are in the same mindset had they been married as far as commitment goes. Gay people use this term because we can't get married in many places and it is a term used when you are in a relationship with somebody but consider it deeper than just a relationship.
I like to think of it as a lot like being engaged; more serious than a standard relationship, but not married to eachother yet.
But it's weird that he is partnered with somebody after a month, so I could be wrong. That's just what I gathered, so I'm not sure. Good luck, though.
2007-08-02 11:49:57 · answer #2 · answered by Karma Police 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not old-fashioned. Being partnered has more to do with a long-term commitment, not unlike a marriage. I guess he may consider himself partnered after only a month, but that sounds more like the impetuousness of youth. Unless it really is a bona fide, deep and true love. I don't use the words interchangeably though, and no one else I knows does.
2007-08-02 12:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Clint 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a partners is someone you have a commitment with. Though I know there are exceptions, after seen a guy for a month you are dating him, you need a lot more than loving the same music and having great sex to become partners.
2007-08-02 11:48:55 · answer #4 · answered by rickyhunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a generational gap issue. being a furry, I am often around younger men and women. I have noticed a shift in the use of vocabulary with regards to couples. it is very common to hear someone say they are partnered or mated to someone after a few weeks or months. many actually consider this a very close bond although emotionally they are still deep in the crush stage. I am not sure if it is good or bad, time will tell.
ââ
2007-08-02 12:03:25 · answer #5 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're not being old-fashioned. your friend is being ideallistic.
for me it's usually like this (roughly of course, as each relationship differs):
dating: from the second date (coffee/movie), public appearance together (going somewhere as a couple), having sex/fooling around, about the first month or two of a relationship, the falling-in-love and getting-to-know phase
girlfriend/boyfriend: the i-really-like-you-and-might-really-love-you phase, more emotional sex, definitely a couple, start compromising about things, meet the parents, saying i love you for the first time, get the thumbs-up from the best friend(s), meet the ex and the in-laws, the second to 8th months
long-term gf/bf: i really love you, we've had at least one serious fight, we don't live together but are talking about moving in together, we've gone on holiday together, we have 'my' friends 'your' friends and 'our' friends, we make love on sunday mornings and mostly sleep during the week, we have a symbol of commitment (e.g. a ring), we have relationship rules, the 10th month onwards
partnered: pretty much the same as long-term gf/bf, we now live together, we've had some sort of ceremony (even if just the two of us attended), we get a puppy/kitten, nag each other like old married people, give advice to our single friends, are fully committed and secure in each other, have the occasional fight about work/sex/money, get invitations almost exclusively as a couple, look at legal benefits, get a shared will/medical aid, and if you can and you want to, get a pre-nup and get married
now i feel old-fashioned...
2007-08-02 12:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by Kariana S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Referring to someone as your 'partner' would mean deeper than just dating to me. There are "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" for that. Since in most areas we cannot even legally be each other's husband/wife, partner is the next best thing. I kind of equate it to that. I don't know if everyone does though..
2007-08-02 11:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mystery Lady H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't consider anyone "partnered" unless they are living together.....
I don't deny there can be strong emotions between two people who don't live together but when you are living with someone a greater level of commitment is usually there(or at least implied).
2007-08-02 11:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to at least live with someone to be considered "partnered." I think your friend is jumping the gun a bit.
2007-08-02 11:54:40 · answer #9 · answered by teacher27278 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only the people involved in the relationship are at liberty to say one way or the other.
2007-08-02 13:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋