What are we teaching our children?

Question

If you look at most reality t.v programmes lately, its a competition that requires the contestants to use manipulation.
I just saw a show advertised where gay and straight men are competeing for the affection of a woman to win a prize. She knows that some of the men are gay but not which ones. I know these people agree to be on the show but what does this say about us. These shows portray deception in an entertaining way. Are our children and us for that matter learning that deception is an acceptable trait to have and employ as a strategy in interhuman relationships.
( This question is about deception and manipulation not sexual orientation)

Very mixed response - which is great!
If this is who we are as a species, maybe we deserve to become extinct -
I guess the ability to speak does not make us intelligent?

Answer 1

One other thing: manipulative behavior--as a noticeable, gross tendency--is characteristic of the personality disorder known as narcissism.

Narcissism is so widespread in our society that it's hard to even see it exists. It's now viewed as "normal."

My answer to your question: Very much so. I think that young people from middle-class backgrounds, the children of Yuppie parents, display a lot of manipulative behavior. They use their talents at manipulation in the workplace, and believe--often correctly--that that's what their employers want them to do.

Have you recently had dealings with anyone under thirty in
marketing or sales?

You've asked an interesting, astute question.

Answer 2

Hmm...well, let's look at the past and see how it influenced things.

Early television was both more conservative (men and women could not be seen in bed together- even married couples sleeping) and more liberal ("Straight to the moon, Alice" - condones threatening or even abusive behavior?)

It was okay to make jokes about blacks, gays, foreigners, dwarfs, stutterers, etc.

Yet, our progressive society evolved and things changed.

The TV shows didn't change the people - rather, people changed the TV shows.

The cartoon reference was interesting. As a child I remember the cartoons being much more violent. Tom and Jerry didn't argue or manipulate each other as much as they attempted murder. Same with Road Runner and the coyote.

Does anyone remember the classic Jonny Quest cartoons? They didn't normally capture the bad guys...they blew them up and killed them.

Did this turn my generation into killers? Hardly.

Seeing manipulation on TV forces one to look at the manipulators. I think the fact most of the reality show participants are obviously complete idiots helps a lot. Like the cartoon characters, they're hard to take seriously because they're far from being role models. They're fun to hate, if you can stand watching them at all. I can't see too many children idolizing or being influenced by the reality show idiots, especially if their parents are dedicated and effective.

Good parenting will always be a stronger influence than anything on TV.

Answer 3

Seems to me that this kind of manipulation and deception has been a part of our culture for a long time now, and no one seems to really notice or mind.

It's a shame everyone has lost their voice. How many people I've talked to say that there's nothing worth watching on TV these days...just stupidness wrapped up in humor. I personally don't want much TV because I am tired of taxing my brain with things that offend me, and what gets passed off as entertainment.

So why don't we raise hell about what is on? Why complain and many times keep watching? Because we are all sheep. We follow blindly to our god, our shephard, the almighty TV. Seems like we have progressed so much that we have become backward. What used to be the voice of Freedom is now the voice of the TV sponsor, and the insanity of prime time programming. There's no original thought. There is no right and wrong. It's all blurred into what is "politically" right to say.

Answer 4

If you raised kids in a bubble they would still learn to practice deception. I mean think about it. When was the first time you tried to play one parent against the other by asking permission of one, receiving a "no" and then asking the other parent? How old were you when did the first thing you didn't want your parents to know about and practiced your first lie of omission? Deception, manipulation, and deceit are unfortunately traits of the human psyche and, like it or not, are one of the things that separates us from the animal kingdom.

That said, I would not let my kids watch reality television because it inspires a lack of imagination, poor taste, and fosters stereotypes and poor public perception through the exploitation of mentally deficient participants. My kids are much better off watching spongebob.

Answer 5

Hmm...When Bugs Bunny wanted a carrott or to get out of being shot by Yosemite Sam, he used maipulation as well. Or the Road Runner did things to fool Wylie Coyote. I grew up watching those cartoons and I don't think they effected me in a negative way. However, cartoons play a much different role than actual people acting stuff out so I say that perhaps children should only watch cartoons until a certain age.
Of course, do we not manipulate our kids? "If you eat all your veggies, you can have dessert!" That's manipulation too. All depends on how you want to look at it.

Answer 6

We're teaching our children:

-Many are teaching them that to be a manipulative person is a GOOD thing
-That cheating on one's spouse is just fine
-That it's fine & dandy when mom & dad live in two different houses
-That it's all good when they don't even know one of their parents
-NO manners, no respect for authority
-That it's just super that they spend most of their time with peers--rather than with a parent
-That lying is the way of life
-That it's just fine to do nothing but play video games, watch TV/movies, and hang out on the computer all day
-That fighting; even assault, are just fine
-That it's normal for them to be alone in the home--or just with a sibling or friend
-Some are letting our children believe that school and homework are of no importance in their lives
-That fighting about religion & politics is a GOOD thing (rather that everyone has the right to their opinions on these contraversial subjects)

I know that this is more than you asked for, and I could go on for an hour with more things that disappoint me about the way that children are being raised--but it's just wrong.

Answer 7

wow, had to think about this one.
doesn't sound like they will be deceiving her about their sexuality per se, as she knows some are gay, some are not. manipulation or strategy?
i think there are much worse messages being thrown at them with shows centering around violence and "might makes right" thinking. shows like las vegas for example, that is teaching deception, taking manipulation or strategy way too far. look at south park, the simpsons, everyone loves raymond, still standing,"comedies", revolve around the constant manipulation of their partners, parents and children. and it is portrayed as funny. at least this show is up front about the intended goals, so, i am not sure this type of show is the worst of the worst as far as provocative manipulation tactics..
just my humble opinion...

Answer 8

Too compare Bugs & Bunny to the trash thats on T.V. today is both unfair and irrevelant. Art imitates life, so its only natural that we have shows to depict it. There are good cartoons out there. Parents have to step their game up and monitor their children now more than ever. Remind your children that they can not act like the people or characters , they see on t.v.

Answer 9

I agree with you. I also worry about the obsession with celebrity and with how people look.

I spend a lot of time showing my daughter responsibility, honesty and kindness. I encourage her to be comfortable with who she is. I think parents need to remind kids that TV isn't real.

Answer 10

The concerned teachers can better tell.