What are your thoughts on this? My brother's two girls had been living with me for about a?

Question

year ages 12 & 14. He's 40+ and an alcoholic. One day my husband, brother and the kids came home from being on the river. As soon as they pulled up to the dock, my brother rushed up to me and started screaming in my face...actually bumping his chest into me. He was drunk and screaming something about me telling the girls to pick up their fishing rods. This went on for several minutes...spit flying from his mouth screaming and chest butting me. I was in total shock...my husband was sitting on the steps watching this. Hearing the screaming, my 18 y/o son was coming to my aide when my husband stopped him and told him not to get involved.

Answer 1

Your husband should have knocked him on his ***.

Answer 2

Listen up, if your brother is a true Alcoholic, then, he won't
change, til he gets ready, which might be never, and when
you can get him in a good mood, you might want to get him
to sign a ''shared custody'' or some type of agreement with
you, about the children.
YOU NEED SOME TYPE OF PAPER, SHOWING THAT
YOU HAVE THE ''RIGHT'' TO SEEK MEDICAL TREAT-
MENT, AND ALSO TO LEGALLY HAVE THEM IN YOUR
CARE".
If you don't have Any Legal Attachments, YOU HAVE NO
SAY SO, legally, OF THE CHILDREN, but you do have a
Legal Right, to call the law enforcement, and have him
removed from your property, with or without your husband's
consent.
If I had a husband like that, who would not ''defend his
castle'', then he too would be out the door, ''until he could
straighten out his act'', for sure.
Your son had every Right to defend you,, because YOUR
CIVIL RIGHTS, were being VERBALLY VIOLATED, in Your
Own Home, not that of your Brother....
You and your husband should have an ''understanding'' who
is the Head of the Household, and who has the ''final sayso"
and if you have to ''wear the pants" in your family, then put
on the Right Armor, and do so, but then why would your
own husband, want a Caretaker, to ''wait upon him"...
I say that if he cannot accept the responsibility, to protect
his wife, and children, he isn't much of a man....
in my book, but I might be reading the wrong book...
(people write all kinds of them these days).
I would have been so angry, for I do not want anyone to
"violate any parts of my Civil Rights", and to this day I
am learning more and more about the Rights of Individuals
and about the ways Civil Rights are / can be Violated.
It would have been proper for your son, to take your brother
outside or elsewhere, to talk him down...and when he's
sober, then everyone have a proper discussion.
You already know that your brother cannot be the parent,
a proper parent, unless he quits drinking...so then, the ball
is in your court...and if you dont' want to do what's Right
legally and otherwise, then stand there, and let him treat
you the way he does....which in my book, is not Too Funny

Answer 3

Sounds like your brother needs his *** kicked... or at least a CTJ meeting. Was it personal words or resentments that he was trying to speak (yell) to you?

I'll admit that I love my alcohol (beer), too. But I would never do something like that unless I was really provoked by something or some act... even from the past. I love my own sister (younger), have had the typical sibling rivalries, and again would never do that. Could be that there are different types of drunks. I've come to the conclusion (somewhat) that depression has a significant impact on alcoholism.

Then again, there could be different degrees of depression, too. And, again also, there's a reason why the girls have lived with you. Your brother should have some evaluation done or therapy possibly focusing on depression.

Or just have his *** kicked. If I were your husband, I would have stepped in to, at least, tell brother to chill out... tell hubby to have some balls in that situation.


Thanks for sharing... and the opportunity to share... for what it's worth. :)

Answer 4

Hubby just sat there is not good. Even though your brother was drunk your hubby should have stepped in and done something. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You needed someone to step in and lay down the law to your brother about that and your hubby should have been the first to do it. A man should never let his wife be treated like that by anyone and I would definitly tell that to my husband. Your taking care of his kids so no matter how drunk he is, there is no reason to do that in front of the kids and your hubby should not have let him continue to hurt you like that.

Answer 5

First of all why do you have your brother's 2 girls? Where is their mother? I can't figure out how this is all happening. Is their mother no longer on this earth? Is she in rehab herself? Are you getting support from this brother of yours, and their mother? I can understand why your husband didn't help you or let your son help you. Your brother is your problem, and your brother thinks that since you want to play mommy then you deal with them. I think you need to have an intervention, and get your brother in rehab so that he can take care of his own children, or you can get custody & support for these kids, and tell your brother until he gets it together then he is no longer welcome at your house or anywhere around the kids. If you continue to subject them to this kind of lifestyle then you might as well give them both drinks right now because they are seeing his behavior as being acceptable. Get help and get if now.

Answer 6

I know that you expected your husband to come to your aid and my first instinct was why the heck didn't he??? Then I thought well maybe he didn't want to get up and beat the heck out of your brother for fear of you getting mad at him for it. I think that if it would have escalated he would have knocked him on his azz. Family fights can be very touchy. Maybe your husband didn't want your brother's kids to see him get beat up. Your brother has serious problems and you may want to get an order of protection against him. He is a sick man. But I think that your husband was really trying to keep it a little more peaceful for the sake of the kids.

Answer 7

Your husband was actually pretty smart. Your brother was on a rampage in your face, yes. If another man would have walked up at the time, it would of really set him off. Things most likely would of gotten bad then. Not to mention he was drunk, and you never want to fight or try to talk to a drunk. It's best to wait until they are clear headed to talk to them. If either your husband or son would have stepped up and things got bad, it would drive a wedge between the family. You would be extremely upset at either your brother, husband or son.

Answer 8

Your brother needs help and your husband is a wimp. If your brother was stabbing you with a knife, would your husband continued to sit on the steps watching and telling your son not to get involved?

Answer 9

I'm sitting here trying to figure out who was more wrong, your husband or your brother. Shame on both of them but I will have to say your hubby was not drunk and should have been by your side in a heart beat.

Answer 10

My thoughts are you need to stand up for yourself. Set some boundaries. Tell your brother if he ever gets within 18 inches of you again while angry you will file assault charges and he can move out with his girls immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
And your husband sounds like a putz. Unless you're one of those people who is always starting crap just because you like to stir things up.

Answer 11

Your husband is a jerk ...... maybe you need to think about going after custody of the kids if you plan to keep them, get a restraining order and keep peace. Then you might want to see where your husbands head is.....