can a marriage survive after an affair...?

Answer 1

Mine didn't but yes, it can. It requires genuine forgiveness, genuine contrition, love and hard work.

One can never forget the hurt of the betrayal, of course, and the damage to unconditional trust is more or less permanent, but if you try to understand and deal with each other's shortcomings which led to the infidelity it is possible to move on. As some have pointed out it can actually strengthen the relationship by introducing a degree of honesty which might not otherwise have been there.

Honesty is in fact the key to a successful marriage. My wife's inability to be honest with me both before and (especially) after she was found out is what killed our marriage - not the affairs themselves, because they were just symptoms.

If you're both committed to rescue the marriage you certainly can.

Answer 2

A marriage can survive an affair but only if you want it to. You have to be willing to put the past in the past and that can be something that will be hard to do. Some people believe the saying once a cheat always a cheat but I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. If you are willing to put the affair in the past and make a fresh start it can be done. It will most likely be a long and hard road ahead of you. Good luck in your therapy. Hope that it helps the marriage.

Answer 3

Yes if the person who had the affair is truly sorry for the pains he/she has caused. If the other spouse can forgive them and I mean REALLY forgive them and choose to continue the marriage. If both parts of the marriage want it to work Yes. BUT BY NO MEANS WILL IT BE EASY ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. Time is a big factor in the healing process, and prayer honestly. It can be done but requires more of a commitment to stay together then it did to get married..........

Answer 4

I think that the marriage can survive, depending on the person. people are unique and different. i think that it will take a LOT of work, if the marriage couple can come together to say that they will continue to move on after the issue. i seen cases where the marriage can continue after an affair, but its extremely hard for the couple afterwards.

Answer 5

YES, IF you want it too. the first thing is you have to be willing to completely forgive and forget the affair. Then you have to trust your mate completely. Next talk...NOT argue..as to why your mate had the affair and what can be done to prevent another one from occurring. there are always reasons, some are simple while others are complex. Work to settle all issues. Above all keep the green-eyed monster "jealousy" out of the equation. Jealousy is self doubt.

Be careful of marriage councilors...often they can cause more problems than help...the worst are "Christian" councilors. How do I know this? I have been to them both secular and Christian, they actually did more damage than help.

You can make it IF you want to save the marriage.

Answer 6

Some peoples do. I am not sure that I could handle it. I would need medication, therapy, an assault rifle....(just kidding). I know people that have been married for over 50 years and their marriages have had to endure many, many things. I want to be old with a husband that I have been with for a very long time....it is important to me. I love my husband, he is my best friend. Life is full of twists and turns, things happen all of the time. An affair is one of the things that can happen. As his friend, I would try to understand why this happened, why would he do something so devistating to us....try to work through the pain to keep my love and my friend. It would be the hardest thing that I ever had to do. I would try.

Answer 7

Lord i hope so...

I had an affair three years ago. I think we've come a ways since then. i hate to call an affair good in any way, but some good did come of it.

first, i learned a little something. i learned i loved my wife more than i thought. i learned that i wanted to be with her, and i learned what it would be like if i didnt have her.

for the first time she began listening to me. in time when we became sexual again, she also worked harder on it. for years i had been trying to talk about and work on our sex life. i think it took the affair for her to take me as serious as i was.

we got help. through therapy that we still attend, we learned to really communicate. i am happy now. i couldnt have said that back then. yes, i believe if both want it, and if both are willing to work and compromise it can work.

Answer 8

It can if you both want it to and the cheater is remorsefull and sincere about staying right. The one injured carries the strongest vision of it and although you forgive you never forget it. Marriage counseling is a must to work through all the issues and reasons why it happened. It is a hard and painfull jouney to get to the light at the end of the tunnel but.........many have made it through. It all depends on your recommitment to one another and understanding how the injured spouse was affected. The cheater has to be supportive to the emotions and feelings of the injured spouse.The trust was broken and may not ever fully be recovered and they can never blame the spouse for their actions because the cheating spouse made the choice to step outside of the relationship.

Answer 9

On the outside things will appear to be okay but once the trust is gone you will never completely trust your partner again, if anything remotely reminds you of his past behavior all the hurt and betrayal of the past resurfaces.. Yes it can survive but is that the type of marriage you want?

Answer 10

Yes, it can, but only if both of you take responsibility for your roles in making that affair happen.

People don't stray from relationships that are satisfying. In order for someone to cheat, they have to be missing out on something really important in their relationship to look to another person to give them.

Once the truth of the reasons for the affair is out, then both of you can start rebuilding the relationship and working toward trust and intimacy once again.

However, if you can't possibly forgive him and can't possibly trust him again, then it's over. You have to open your heart to him even more, forgive him and not use it against him in future arguments.

And that's a hard betrayal to forgive.