My boyfriend wants to be with me, says he adores me and has never been so happy in his life with a girl. He says he's falling in love with me but he is not in love with me yet. We have been together 9 mths. I am absolutely terrified now that he just won't fall in love with me. Am trying to get past it and continue having fun in the relationship but it's always at the back of my mind. Is it pride? Am not sure. He says he is being more cautious because of past failures when he has fallen more quickly, and that if and when he says it, it will be forever. Am just worried he is kidding himself. He is an honest guy, and is not the type to stay in a relationship if he doesn;'t think it is going anywhere. He dumped a girl he was seeing for about six mths before he met me because he didn't have the right feelings for her. What is going on?
2007-08-02 03:04:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Congratulations! You have found a responsible man who doesn't throw those words around unless he truly means them. He's falling hard for you, but saying "I love you" is a big step in a relationship, and often taken too lightly. Appreciate his honesty, and don't read into it too much...else your insecurities might put a wedge between the two of you. Give him some time. He will say it when he can't bear to hold it in any longer...and it will be great!
2007-08-02 03:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not kidding himself...he is kidding you. If you think this is an honest guy, then you are kidding yourself. He is playing you and leading you on, and you are following like you were on a leash. Tell me, has it taken this long for you to "decide" that you are in love with him? I am willing to bet the answer is no. Well, girl, if he was going to be in love with you, he would be with no reservations and no hesitation. I don't know why guys like this "I've been hurt before" line, or why women eat it up so readily. There is a book out there called He's Just Not That Into You. It should be required reading for all women.
2007-08-02 10:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being cautious as you should as well. Time makes a relationship better. It gives you both the opportunity to grow together learn the likes and dislikes to determine if you should be friends or more than that. Don't be alarmed that he just hasn't fell deep in love yet what if he did and you didn't love him the way he loved you? How would you feel? So he is taking his time with you because he is growing to love you more and more and nothing is wrong with that unless you don't feel the same way.
2007-08-02 10:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what you wrote this guy is very insecure. I don't quite get a guy telling a woman that he's falling in love but not in love yet? Sounds to me as though he is trying to keep you on your toes for fear of disappointing or failing his preconceived idea of what being in love is like? Or perhaps he is a control freak and one wrong move on your end and he's dumping you? What I would do is move on and not worry so much about what he thinks...Care more and think more about what you think, about what you feel. Does this guy make you feel good? Doesn't sound real positive in his methods of stringing you along. If you are the insecure one, by all means, find out the reasons for your insecurities. Good luck
2007-08-02 10:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by Rogue 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should follow your instincts, If you feel that you should give him more time than try it, but if you dont think your relationship is going anywhere for you or in the direction that you would want it to go than I think you might want to consider moving on! believe me I am currently stuck in a relationship like that because I thought that he would come around but he still hasn't five years later and when I mean that I am stuck it is because since then we have had two little boys. maybe you should try talking to him about how you feel and then make you decision from there!!
2007-08-02 10:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing the field. I have a Nephew about 34 year old that does that with every girlfriend since he was about 19. He gos through about 2 per year and sometimes they are dumb enough to come go back with him after a year.
2007-08-02 10:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm quite big problem. sorry i cant help but i think leave ur friend if he really loves u then he will come back and request u to love him.
2007-08-02 10:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by alifetimefriend 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋