my husband wants a weekend to himself to think and to try to work some issues out is that ok?

Question

he is stressed out from work, we argue alot because of mistakes he has mad, his family is always on his case,and he's says just friday and saturday to clear his mind be back on sunday he is also stressed about money and never seems to get ahead

Answer 1

well, to me it sounds kinda fishy. I would really have to be convinced that he wasn't cheating and using this weekend "to himself" as a chance to spend time with a mistress.

Answer 2

No husband or Wife should just leave the home for a whole weekend to avoid problems. It's un-acceptable to leave for two whole days thinking that when you come back home the problems won't be there. Everyone needs time to themself but not for that long when you're married. You have to work through the problems in order to fix them & make them better it won't fix by itself. If he wants time to get away from problems then he wouldn't mind taking you along with him- maybe make some arrangements & get a babysitter if you have a child or children if that's the case. You both can enjoy a weekend to yourselves to forget about the things that are causing problems at home. If he's stressed out & want's to be alone- what's acceptable is a guys night out or a day to himself- maybe to pamper himself & relax. But one thing you did mention was money problems... If he stays out for two days where is he going to stay at? Staying at a hotel,/ room will cost $$$ too so it sounds a little fishy that he wants a whole weekend without you being around and so called "to himself, to think things over" If the problem isn't you than why you can't tag along with him??? It sounds more like there's something else included in his problems- besides work, his family & money. Everyone has problems and we all just have to work through them. If he needs to work out some issues then why don't you involve yourself & help him try to sort things out. If you trust him enough to let him go for a weekend then I guess just let him be. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't though because I think in a case like that it will only create more problems for you guys. You guys argue alot because of the issues that are present right now, if you let him be & let him stay elsewhere, then next problem will be "did you cheat?, what did you do?, where did you stay? and the problems that he had before are still there cause he won't be able to fix them in 2 days.

I suggest that you go and spend some quality time with your hubby, try to help him out in whatever you can, & try not to make things more complicated by creating an arguement. Ask if is okay for you guys to go out & have a good time together and get away from the problems for a couple of days. You guys will release some stress, and have eachother to lean on. In other words- the word my hubby uses "it's very therapeudic" for both of you. I hope this helps & good luck!

Answer 3

It depends on where he is going. If he wants to 'go into the woods' like Thoreau, and reflect, or if he wants to just go off and be by himself at home, and you go visit someone, I don't think that's a problem. If he wants to run off to Vegas, or paint the town red, that's a problem.
Sometimes people need to distance themselves from their world in order to solve their problems. Maybe he wants to diffuse his stress before it reaches a dangerous level. As it's only a couple of days, I wouldn't stress. What you could do is see if there are any interdenominational woods retreats in your area - he can just go and be with nature, and chill out. Or maybe, pack him off on a fishing trip. That way, he gets to be alone, and you still have some idea of what he's up to.

If this becomes a trend, and he is doing this more and more often, or having other unexplained absences, then worry.

Answer 4

Tell him you would agree for him to have a peaceful weekend alone at home. It would be a better idea for you and the kids to leave rather than to just have your husband leave the home for a weekend where I know will only add some questions and doubts in your mind. A man that is unhappy due to stress related issues at home is in a dangerous state of mind for an affair. You need to try and make for a happier home life or I am afraid he is already thinking of slowly removing himself from the home.

Answer 5

Regardless of what his plan is, cheating or just thinking, if he wants two days give him two days. You can't tell an adult no, you can't go. This only creates resentment. If he is cheating he will still find the way without you giving him two days. Maybe he will discover he really loves this other person and go ahead and leave the marriage. That is better for everyone, the wife needs to move on and find love too. Besides, if you give someone a ittle rope they always hang themselves. Holding on too tight doesn't solve anything.

Answer 6

Why can't he think and find a solution with you instead of going off somewhere disgruntled. Perfect combination not happy at home, work, and family on his case too. Sounds like he could possibly finding a way out. What would be different by him going off and then returning with a solution that he has conducted on his own without including his other half.

Answer 7

I would give him one weekend. Men deal with problems differently then females. Women tend to want to talk it out and figure it out in discussion. Men usually need to step away from their problems, find a moment of quiet, and sort it out before then can come back and offer good input.

I think it would also show a great amount of love and compassion if you gave him a weekend of "him" time.

If you guys have always had a good relationship, there's no need to suspect something fishy. If he continues to ask for lots of alone time, then you should ask questions. But give him the benefit of a doubt and support him as he tries to come up with solutions for his difficulties.

Answer 8

Man! Som of you all are some pessimistic people. Just because someone gets married, they never have a chance to be alone. Give him his privacy and let him just exist. He probably just wants a chance to not have someone nagging him or hounding for the next project at work, or wondering why he hasn't gotten promoted. Let him relax for three days. No Big Deal!

Answer 9

ok if he is stressed out about money, where will be he for those couple of days, in a hotel room spending money to stay there? camping, that costs money too...hmmm...fishing costs money...where is he going? hmmm...to himself to go where? hmmm...I don't think it's ok...sounds to me like he may have found a woman to go stay with...if he is staying w/ a guy friend...that is really not getting away either for himself as he says...hmmm...this story is not consistent...does not make sense so I would question him...and let him know if there is another woman tell you now...and if he insists on the time away and there is another woman...dump him...and let him know now...good luck!

Answer 10

Married couples tend to get in a rut every now and then and they need some individual space and time. i don't think that giving your husband a couple of day will hurt anything. In fact, it might help the situation. it'll give you some time to think and sort things out as well.

Answer 11

When my husband wants his time alone, he gets it. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Why? Because I know he loves me and I trust him. Everyone needs some time alone. A good strong marriage has trust, honesty, and humor in it. The question here really should be-- Do you love and trust your hubby enough to let him go spend some time alone??